Bones Theory

106 Episodes; 106 Haikus


The skin in the scat has a sun on it.

What is that, a haiku?


Well, no…no it isn’t. But what you are about to read certainly are. Anyone else as excited as I am that it’s SEPTEMBER??!!!

My sister, Elizabeth ( @EA_Franklin), when not kicking my butt at The Beatles RockBand, also helped me with these. We had a lot of fun putting them together.




Temperance Brennan

Blackmails Special Agent Booth

Do not call her Bones


The Man in the SUV

The beetles have names

Buy a ticket on that ride

Booth needs subtitles


The Boy in a Tree  

Stirring the pudding

Should he say it in Latin?

Booth’s gut says it stinks


The Man in the Bear

Definitive tones

And hey, just don’t eat people

Where is my bear poop?


A Boy in a Bush  

David and Shawn Cook

Booth wants to go to heaven

Deep African Tones


The Man in the Wall

Five stages of love

“Let’s just say, your boss inhaled”

Adios, Tessa!


The Man on Death Row  

Brennan wants a gun

Howard Epps gives us the creeps

Brennan breaks his wrist


The Girl in the Fridge  

Brennan takes the stand

And she never got a B

And she never will


The Man in the Fallout Shelter

Christmas Lung Fungus

Brennan works to solve the case

Careful Lionel


The Woman at the Airport  

LA airport kill

And Zack is metaphoric

Booth will always drive


The Woman in the Car  

Pickering visits

Zack’s in the ionosphere

“Paladin” suits Booth


The Superhero in the Alley

Citizen 14

“Don’t use your charm smile on me”

Sharpshooter medal


The Woman in the Garden

Brennan rides shotgun

Hodgins gets to leave the lab

Hell yes, Seeley Booth!


The Man on the Fairway

VIP plane crash

Bren asks Booth for a favor

Pig in wood chipper


Two Bodies in the Lab  

Brennan dates online

But Booth is who saves her life

And, “oh, there’s magic”


The Woman in the Tunnel  

Harold gets ‘his due’

“Did you just call us tictoc?”

And Clue stumps Brennan


The Skull in the Desert

Hodgins and Zack bond

Bren helps Ange in the desert

Booth gets Federal


The Man with the Bone 

Gold under water

Creepy Bureau coroner

Zack had an eye patch.


The Man in the Morgue

Brennan’s in danger

Jesus is not a zombie.

They’re more than sort of


The Graft in the Girl

Miss Amy Cullen

Angela makes the SIMLouvre

Booth takes some sick days


The Soldier on the Grave  

Burnt corpse on gravestone

We all die a little bit

Brennan comforts Booth


The Woman in Limbo

Rhyming Linguine

Brennan’s mom identified

Booth knows who she is



The Titan on the Track

Cam enters the scene

Don’t call him Zackaroni

N. C. Lots of As


Mother and Child in the Bay

Creepy party game

Cam beats Bren to the crime scene

Booth fights Rebecca


The Boy in the Shroud

Kelly & Dylan

Brennan takes the case to heart

Booth’s on her side, Cam



The Blonde in the Game

Brennan takes a life

And Booth gives Jasper to her

Howard Epps is bad


The Truth in the Lye

Booth is a man-slut*

Brennan talks with Rebecca.

Hodgins in the tub



The Girl in Suite 2103

Hotel Explosion

Booth asks Cam to keep quiet

Hodgela finds out


The Girl with the Curl 

The Iliac Crest

A Darwinian Pressure

And oh yeah, “Thai Food”


The Woman in the Sand

Zack punches Hodgins

Booth buys Brennan a black dress

Roxie and Tony


Aliens in a Spaceship

The Gravedigger strikes

“I knew you wouldn’t give up”

Bren writes a letter


The Headless Witch in the Woods  

Blair Witch Copy-Cat

“A gentleman is discreet”

It’s not a guy hug


Judas on a Pole

Max acts in disguise

There’s more than one kind of fam

They are all Booth’s squints


The Man in the Cell

Epps escapes from jail

There’s this line; we can’t cross it

A bad day for Cam



The Girl in the Gator

Booth shoots his first clown

And talks to Gordon Gordon

While Bren meets Sully


The Man in the Mansion

Sully wants advice

Hodgins steals some evidence

Modern day codpiece


Bodies in the Book

Really gross bodies

Bren’s book’s murders are copied

Testosterone Spill


The Boneless Bride in the River

Seeley Booth lives wide

Sully sails away alone

“Everything” begins


The Priest in the Churchyard  

Booth and Brennan fight

Dr. Wyatt works magic

Booth and Bren are back!


The Killer in the Concrete 

Booth is agent-napped

Max helps Brennan rescue him

Dolphin and diner


Spaceman in a Crater

Mystery victim

Angela turns Hodgins down

Zack’s knowledge is vast


The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House  

Love and Dopamines

Brennan makes Booth mac & cheese

Always gotta eat


Stargazer in a Puddle     

Max gets arrested

And art makes science her bitch

Booth comforts Brennan



The Widow’s Son in the Windshield

Zack returns from war

And the Gormogon case starts

The center must hold


Soccer Mom in the Mini Van 

NLA Murder

Booth leads his former mentor

No direct knowledge


Death in the Saddle 

“Hay…is for horses”

Breaking the laws of physics

Giddy-up, baby!


The Secret in the Soil

Booth and Bren meet Sweets

And they don’t fight; they…bicker.

Coffee equals love


Mummy in the Maze

Clown mega-killer

Clark Kent and WonderWoman

Just Brennan and Booth


Intern in the Incinerator

Murder at the Jeff

“Booth, it’s pronounced Gor-mo-gon”

Booth won’t betray her.


Boy in the Time Capsule

High School reunion

Bren’s got looks and so much more

Booth’s no Philistine


The Knight on the Grid

“Gorgonzola” strikes

“Amen Monsignor” “Thanks, Steve”

Sweet kiss on the cheek


The Santa in the Slush

Murder, Mistletoe

And we get enough steamboats

A whole flotilla


The Man in the Mud 

Racing bikers deaths

“Play the field and not plow it”

Baby duck imprinted


The Player Under Pressure

B-Ball superstar

“A fully developed man”

Booth was in a war!


The Baby in the Bough

Dancing Phalanges

Elephants are not purple

Seven Layer Dip


The Verdict in the Story

The trial of Max

They’ve faced down death together

That’s a lot of heart


The Wannabe in the Weeds

Open Mic Night Death

Brennan sings Cyndi Lauper

Booth takes a bullet


The Pain in the Heart  

Booth back from the dead

Sans Puritan modesty

Zack’s with Gormogon?



Yanks in the UK: Part One

Grayson Barasa

And Tomato, potato

Pritchard and Wexler


Yanks in the UK: Part Two

Cam and Birimbau

Sir Seeley; Lady Temperance

Hodgela break-up


The Man in the Outhouse

Smelly dead body

There’s someone for everyone

Surrogate nothing


The Finger in the Nest 

Parker finds finger

Hodgins is good with the hate

Ripley’s eulogy


The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond

Sexy scientist

Sexy FBI Agent

Can’t change who they are


The Crank in the Shaft

Hodgins has kind eyes

Booth wants dead guy’s office chair

He is the king bee


The He in the She

Ain’t too proud to beg

Brennan is the bank lady

Swim with a buddy


The Skull in the Sculpture

Brennan dumps beetles

Roxela reunited

Daisy breaks the skull


The Con Man in the Meth Lab 

Jared is Booth-lite

Booth is so not a loser

Brennan brings two forks


The Passenger in the Oven

Ancient Chinese bones

Murderer on the airplane

Booth likes ‘em squinty


The Bone that Blew

Who killed the manny?

Max is hired at the Jeff

Bones is beautiful


Double Trouble in the Panhandle

Death at the circus

Therein lies the excitement

One bed in trailer


Fire in the Ice

Booth fights on the ice

Brennan brings him Mama’s soup

Booth’s made of good stuff


Hero in the Hold

The Gravedigger strikes

Booth gets help from Teddy’s ghost

Brennan saves Booth’s life


The Princess and the Pear

Sweets is a red shirt

Booth uses charm on Brennan

Goodbye Perotta!


The Bones that Foam

Sweets coaches Brennan

Brennan buys Booth a lap dance

Strawberry lust dust


The Salt in the Wound

A pregnancy pact

Angela dumped by Roxie

Bren admires Booth


The Doctor in the Den

Cam adopts Michelle

Brennan gives Cam some advice

Pinky stumps The Brain


The Science in the Physicist

Collar Institute

Booth protects Bren from the blast

He is not a prude


The Cinderella in the Cardboard

Bridezilla murdered

Bren wants to believe in love

Sweets tries a guy hug


Mayhem on a Cross

Death Metal Murder

Booth and Brennan get closer

Hand against his heart


The Double Death of the Dearly Departed

Booth can be charming

And a man was TRANSLATED!

Fine, fine. Triple fine!


The Girl in the Mask

Bren makes an effort.

Booth’s friend’s sister is murdered

And love is worth it


The Beaver in the Otter

Fraternity death

Will Booth go to India?

Bren gets to be bad!


The Critic in the Cabernet

Bren wants a baby

But she wants healthy Booth more

Trust her, Booth. TRUST her!


The End in the Beginning

B&B in bed


“Bren” & “Mr. B”



Harbingers in a Fountain

Weird coinkydink

An ‘atta-girl’ kind of way

“I got you, baby”


The Bond in the Boot

Plumbing for Dummies

Wendell gets his scholarship

Bren feels close to Booth


The Plain in the Prodigy 

Booth threatens Perry!

Rumspringa’s proper spirit!

Bren was twenty-two!


The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Sweets vs. Brennan

800 people or less

Brennan is awesome


A Night at the Bones Museum

Egyptian mummy

Brennan loves ancient remains

Egg in the meatloaf


The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken


Holding hands and brown sugar

Forty five dollars


The Dwarf in the Dirt

Look at his femurs!

Wyatt tells Booth, “Grow a set!”

Brennan likes good boys


The Foot in the Foreclosure

Pops at Club Jiggle

A pair of steel ovaries

Dominoes; Grilled cheese


The Gamer in the Grease

Gross murder victim

Let’s Google Venn Diagram

“I will knock you dead.”


The Goop in the Girl

Santa bank-robber

Margaret and Ben Franklin

It’s just evidence!


The X in the File 

The scream and the gun

Gazing at stars together



The Proof in the Pudding

Angela’s pregnant?

Jeffersonian lock-down

Booth helps “his people”


The Dentist in the Ditch 

Jared and Padme

VNM wants Brennan’s praise

Brennan toasts “To Love”


The Devil in the Details

Brennan gets to drive

Faith and science are shaken

Life is good again


The Bones on a Blue Line


Sweets wants to live a good life

Booth checks Brennan out!


The Parts in the Sum of the Whole

Booth believes in fate

And this is going somewhere

Please don’t look so sad


The Death of the Queen Bee

Mr. Ray Buxley

Room for the Holy Spirit

Booth and Brennan dance


The Predator in the Pool

Coffee means coffee?

Hodgins and Angela flirt

Brennan seems jealous


The Rocker in the Rinse Cycle

Some social contracts

‘Hot Blooded’ is still their song

Never mess with Prince


The Witch in the Wardrobe

Two sets of remains

Wedding in a small jail cell

Booth wishes good things


The Boy with the Answer

Brennan has nightmares

Taffet found guilty as charged

Bren needs time and space


The Beginning in the End

Maluku Islands

Brennan worries about Booth

“One year from today”


There you have it!


8 thoughts on “106 Episodes; 106 Haikus

  1. Stupendous effort ladies! Those were all simply AWESOME and so much fun to read! 😀

  2. These are AMAZING!!! I love each and every one of them!

  3. Good job with these! I loved reading them!

  4. OMG great job (: Cannot stop reading LOL (:

  5. Absolutely spot-on, every single one!

  6. Fantastic!

    Thanks so much for writing these and sharing them.

  7. A friend passes on
    Pain becomes comfort, love waits
    And baby makes three.

  8. you really need to add seaon six now… please

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