Bones Theory

106 Episodes; 106 Haikus

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The skin in the scat has a sun on it.

What is that, a haiku?

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Well, no…no it isn’t. But what you are about to read certainly are. Anyone else as excited as I am that it’s SEPTEMBER??!!!

My sister, Elizabeth ( @EA_Franklin), when not kicking my butt at The Beatles RockBand, also helped me with these. We had a lot of fun putting them together.

 

SEASON ONE

Pilot

Temperance Brennan

Blackmails Special Agent Booth

Do not call her Bones

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The Man in the SUV

The beetles have names

Buy a ticket on that ride

Booth needs subtitles

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The Boy in a Tree  

Stirring the pudding

Should he say it in Latin?

Booth’s gut says it stinks

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The Man in the Bear

Definitive tones

And hey, just don’t eat people

Where is my bear poop?

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A Boy in a Bush  

David and Shawn Cook

Booth wants to go to heaven

Deep African Tones

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The Man in the Wall

Five stages of love

“Let’s just say, your boss inhaled”

Adios, Tessa!

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The Man on Death Row  

Brennan wants a gun

Howard Epps gives us the creeps

Brennan breaks his wrist

 ~~~~

The Girl in the Fridge  

Brennan takes the stand

And she never got a B

And she never will

 ~~~~

The Man in the Fallout Shelter

Christmas Lung Fungus

Brennan works to solve the case

Careful Lionel

 ~~~~

The Woman at the Airport  

LA airport kill

And Zack is metaphoric

Booth will always drive

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The Woman in the Car  

Pickering visits

Zack’s in the ionosphere

“Paladin” suits Booth

 ~~~~

The Superhero in the Alley

Citizen 14

“Don’t use your charm smile on me”

Sharpshooter medal

 ~~~~

The Woman in the Garden

Brennan rides shotgun

Hodgins gets to leave the lab

Hell yes, Seeley Booth!

 ~~~~

The Man on the Fairway

VIP plane crash

Bren asks Booth for a favor

Pig in wood chipper

 ~~~~

Two Bodies in the Lab  

Brennan dates online

But Booth is who saves her life

And, “oh, there’s magic”

 ~~~~

The Woman in the Tunnel  

Harold gets ‘his due’

“Did you just call us tictoc?”

And Clue stumps Brennan

 ~~~~

The Skull in the Desert

Hodgins and Zack bond

Bren helps Ange in the desert

Booth gets Federal

~~~~

The Man with the Bone 

Gold under water

Creepy Bureau coroner

Zack had an eye patch.

~~~~

The Man in the Morgue

Brennan’s in danger

Jesus is not a zombie.

They’re more than sort of

~~~~

The Graft in the Girl

Miss Amy Cullen

Angela makes the SIMLouvre

Booth takes some sick days

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The Soldier on the Grave  

Burnt corpse on gravestone

We all die a little bit

Brennan comforts Booth

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The Woman in Limbo

Rhyming Linguine

Brennan’s mom identified

Booth knows who she is

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SEASON TWO:

The Titan on the Track

Cam enters the scene

Don’t call him Zackaroni

N. C. Lots of As

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Mother and Child in the Bay

Creepy party game

Cam beats Bren to the crime scene

Booth fights Rebecca

~~~~

The Boy in the Shroud

Kelly & Dylan

Brennan takes the case to heart

Booth’s on her side, Cam

~~~~

 

The Blonde in the Game

Brennan takes a life

And Booth gives Jasper to her

Howard Epps is bad

 ~~~~

The Truth in the Lye

Booth is a man-slut*

Brennan talks with Rebecca.

Hodgins in the tub

 ~~~~

 

The Girl in Suite 2103

Hotel Explosion

Booth asks Cam to keep quiet

Hodgela finds out

~~~~

The Girl with the Curl 

The Iliac Crest

A Darwinian Pressure

And oh yeah, “Thai Food”

~~~~

The Woman in the Sand

Zack punches Hodgins

Booth buys Brennan a black dress

Roxie and Tony

 ~~~~

Aliens in a Spaceship

The Gravedigger strikes

“I knew you wouldn’t give up”

Bren writes a letter

~~~~

The Headless Witch in the Woods  

Blair Witch Copy-Cat

“A gentleman is discreet”

It’s not a guy hug

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Judas on a Pole

Max acts in disguise

There’s more than one kind of fam

They are all Booth’s squints

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The Man in the Cell

Epps escapes from jail

There’s this line; we can’t cross it

A bad day for Cam

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The Girl in the Gator

Booth shoots his first clown

And talks to Gordon Gordon

While Bren meets Sully

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The Man in the Mansion

Sully wants advice

Hodgins steals some evidence

Modern day codpiece

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Bodies in the Book

Really gross bodies

Bren’s book’s murders are copied

Testosterone Spill

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The Boneless Bride in the River

Seeley Booth lives wide

Sully sails away alone

“Everything” begins

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The Priest in the Churchyard  

Booth and Brennan fight

Dr. Wyatt works magic

Booth and Bren are back!

 ~~~~

The Killer in the Concrete 

Booth is agent-napped

Max helps Brennan rescue him

Dolphin and diner

 ~~~~

Spaceman in a Crater

Mystery victim

Angela turns Hodgins down

Zack’s knowledge is vast

 ~~~~

The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House  

Love and Dopamines

Brennan makes Booth mac & cheese

Always gotta eat

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Stargazer in a Puddle     

Max gets arrested

And art makes science her bitch

Booth comforts Brennan

 ~~~~

SEASON THREE:

The Widow’s Son in the Windshield

Zack returns from war

And the Gormogon case starts

The center must hold

 ~~~~

Soccer Mom in the Mini Van 

NLA Murder

Booth leads his former mentor

No direct knowledge

 ~~~~

Death in the Saddle 

“Hay…is for horses”

Breaking the laws of physics

Giddy-up, baby!

 ~~~~

The Secret in the Soil

Booth and Bren meet Sweets

And they don’t fight; they…bicker.

Coffee equals love

 ~~~~

Mummy in the Maze

Clown mega-killer

Clark Kent and WonderWoman

Just Brennan and Booth

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Intern in the Incinerator

Murder at the Jeff

“Booth, it’s pronounced Gor-mo-gon”

Booth won’t betray her.

 ~~~~

Boy in the Time Capsule

High School reunion

Bren’s got looks and so much more

Booth’s no Philistine

~~~~

The Knight on the Grid

“Gorgonzola” strikes

“Amen Monsignor” “Thanks, Steve”

Sweet kiss on the cheek

~~~~ 

The Santa in the Slush

Murder, Mistletoe

And we get enough steamboats

A whole flotilla

 ~~~~

The Man in the Mud 

Racing bikers deaths

“Play the field and not plow it”

Baby duck imprinted

~~~~

The Player Under Pressure

B-Ball superstar

“A fully developed man”

Booth was in a war!

 ~~~~

The Baby in the Bough

Dancing Phalanges

Elephants are not purple

Seven Layer Dip

 ~~~~

The Verdict in the Story

The trial of Max

They’ve faced down death together

That’s a lot of heart

~~~~

The Wannabe in the Weeds

Open Mic Night Death

Brennan sings Cyndi Lauper

Booth takes a bullet

~~~~

The Pain in the Heart  

Booth back from the dead

Sans Puritan modesty

Zack’s with Gormogon?

~~~~

SEASON FOUR:

Yanks in the UK: Part One

Grayson Barasa

And Tomato, potato

Pritchard and Wexler

~~~~

Yanks in the UK: Part Two

Cam and Birimbau

Sir Seeley; Lady Temperance

Hodgela break-up

~~~~

The Man in the Outhouse

Smelly dead body

There’s someone for everyone

Surrogate nothing

~~~~

The Finger in the Nest 

Parker finds finger

Hodgins is good with the hate

Ripley’s eulogy

~~~~

The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond

Sexy scientist

Sexy FBI Agent

Can’t change who they are

~~~~

The Crank in the Shaft

Hodgins has kind eyes

Booth wants dead guy’s office chair

He is the king bee

~~~~

The He in the She

Ain’t too proud to beg

Brennan is the bank lady

Swim with a buddy

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The Skull in the Sculpture

Brennan dumps beetles

Roxela reunited

Daisy breaks the skull

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The Con Man in the Meth Lab 

Jared is Booth-lite

Booth is so not a loser

Brennan brings two forks

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The Passenger in the Oven

Ancient Chinese bones

Murderer on the airplane

Booth likes ‘em squinty

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The Bone that Blew

Who killed the manny?

Max is hired at the Jeff

Bones is beautiful

~~~~

Double Trouble in the Panhandle

Death at the circus

Therein lies the excitement

One bed in trailer

 ~~~~

Fire in the Ice

Booth fights on the ice

Brennan brings him Mama’s soup

Booth’s made of good stuff

~~~~

Hero in the Hold

The Gravedigger strikes

Booth gets help from Teddy’s ghost

Brennan saves Booth’s life

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The Princess and the Pear

Sweets is a red shirt

Booth uses charm on Brennan

Goodbye Perotta!

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The Bones that Foam

Sweets coaches Brennan

Brennan buys Booth a lap dance

Strawberry lust dust

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The Salt in the Wound

A pregnancy pact

Angela dumped by Roxie

Bren admires Booth

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The Doctor in the Den

Cam adopts Michelle

Brennan gives Cam some advice

Pinky stumps The Brain

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The Science in the Physicist

Collar Institute

Booth protects Bren from the blast

He is not a prude

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The Cinderella in the Cardboard

Bridezilla murdered

Bren wants to believe in love

Sweets tries a guy hug

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Mayhem on a Cross

Death Metal Murder

Booth and Brennan get closer

Hand against his heart

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The Double Death of the Dearly Departed

Booth can be charming

And a man was TRANSLATED!

Fine, fine. Triple fine!

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The Girl in the Mask

Bren makes an effort.

Booth’s friend’s sister is murdered

And love is worth it

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The Beaver in the Otter

Fraternity death

Will Booth go to India?

Bren gets to be bad!

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The Critic in the Cabernet

Bren wants a baby

But she wants healthy Booth more

Trust her, Booth. TRUST her!

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The End in the Beginning

B&B in bed

Fantabulisticulous

“Bren” & “Mr. B”

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SEASON FIVE:

Harbingers in a Fountain

Weird coinkydink

An ‘atta-girl’ kind of way

“I got you, baby”

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The Bond in the Boot

Plumbing for Dummies

Wendell gets his scholarship

Bren feels close to Booth

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The Plain in the Prodigy 

Booth threatens Perry!

Rumspringa’s proper spirit!

Bren was twenty-two!

~~~~

The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Sweets vs. Brennan

800 people or less

Brennan is awesome

 ~~~~

A Night at the Bones Museum

Egyptian mummy

Brennan loves ancient remains

Egg in the meatloaf

 ~~~~

The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

Half-man/half-chicken

Holding hands and brown sugar

Forty five dollars

 ~~~~

The Dwarf in the Dirt

Look at his femurs!

Wyatt tells Booth, “Grow a set!”

Brennan likes good boys

 ~~~~

The Foot in the Foreclosure

Pops at Club Jiggle

A pair of steel ovaries

Dominoes; Grilled cheese

 ~~~~

The Gamer in the Grease

Gross murder victim

Let’s Google Venn Diagram

“I will knock you dead.”

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The Goop in the Girl

Santa bank-robber

Margaret and Ben Franklin

It’s just evidence!

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The X in the File 

The scream and the gun

Gazing at stars together

Satisfactory

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The Proof in the Pudding

Angela’s pregnant?

Jeffersonian lock-down

Booth helps “his people”

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The Dentist in the Ditch 

Jared and Padme

VNM wants Brennan’s praise

Brennan toasts “To Love”

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The Devil in the Details

Brennan gets to drive

Faith and science are shaken

Life is good again

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The Bones on a Blue Line

187

Sweets wants to live a good life

Booth checks Brennan out!

 ~~~~

The Parts in the Sum of the Whole

Booth believes in fate

And this is going somewhere

Please don’t look so sad

 ~~~~

The Death of the Queen Bee

Mr. Ray Buxley

Room for the Holy Spirit

Booth and Brennan dance

 ~~~~

The Predator in the Pool

Coffee means coffee?

Hodgins and Angela flirt

Brennan seems jealous

 ~~~~

The Rocker in the Rinse Cycle

Some social contracts

‘Hot Blooded’ is still their song

Never mess with Prince

 ~~~~

The Witch in the Wardrobe

Two sets of remains

Wedding in a small jail cell

Booth wishes good things

 ~~~~

The Boy with the Answer

Brennan has nightmares

Taffet found guilty as charged

Bren needs time and space

 ~~~~

The Beginning in the End

Maluku Islands

Brennan worries about Booth

“One year from today”

~~~~

There you have it!

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8 thoughts on “106 Episodes; 106 Haikus

  1. Stupendous effort ladies! Those were all simply AWESOME and so much fun to read! 😀

  2. These are AMAZING!!! I love each and every one of them!

  3. Good job with these! I loved reading them!

  4. OMG great job (: Cannot stop reading LOL (:

  5. Absolutely spot-on, every single one!

  6. Fantastic!

    Thanks so much for writing these and sharing them.

  7. A friend passes on
    Pain becomes comfort, love waits
    And baby makes three.

  8. you really need to add seaon six now… please

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