/sɪm biˈoʊ sɪs, -baɪ-/ [sim-bee-oh-sis, -bahy-]
–noun, plural -ses.
the living together of two dissimilar organisms, as in mutualism, commensalism, amensalism, or parasitism.
(formerly) mutualism ( def. 1 ) .
Psychiatry . a relationship between two people in which each person is dependent upon and receives reinforcement, whether beneficial or detrimental, from the other.
Psychoanalysis . the relationship between an infant and its mother in which the infant is dependent on the mother both physically and emotionally.
any interdependent or mutually beneficial relationship between two persons, groups, etc.
I looked up symbiotic in the dictionary, and it said mainly that it was an adjective and led to ‘symbiosis’, so I looked that up. I’ve been thinking about this idea for awhile now, and I’m really interested in what you have to say. Is BONES good for us? When I saw words like “parasitism” and “detrimental”, I had to kind of laugh. So I ask again, is BONES good for us? Are we good for it?
Obviously, from a ratings standpoint, yes, the show needs actual viewers to watch. A non-show related friend of mine once said that you can plan a good event, but if no one shows up, it’s not a good event. And BONES could be a great show, but if no one’s watching…
So yes, it does need us. But what does BONES give to us?
This idea has been circulating in my mind for months…years, actually. It always pops up whenever I meet a new group of people. Someone might ask what my hobbies are, and I’ll mention that I blog about BONES. One or two people will think that is awesome, and immediately, we’ll be best friends, haha, and one or two people will be like, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen that show. With that vampire, right?” And I’m like…”um, well…sort of…not really”. But a lot of the time, most people will be like, “I’ve never even seen that show.” It always catches me off guard. It’s as if because I found BONES and watched it like crazy, I think everyone should. As if I wasn’t the EXACT same way when BONES first aired up until Santa in the Slush. If someone had told me then that they were a BONES blogger, I would have been like… “Oh, um…interesting?” Now that I’m on the other side of that, there’s always a moment where I’m like… “oh…most people don’t really know what BONES is”. When I’m on Twitter, or stuff like that, it seems like everyone is talking about BONES. Well, yeah, (I say to myself), that’s because I follow people who are BONES fans. It’s like going to a StarTrek convention and being amazed at how every single person you meet has also seen an episode of ST. So I feel like I’m always sort of torn between the ‘context’ of BONES and how it fits in the world. And so then I’m always sort of torn between myself and how I fit into the world in that way. Does that make sense?
Is the effort I give toward BONES equal to what I gain from it? And is the level of interest I have in the show healthy? Depending on how I know you, you might say yes or no.
There are so many things in my life (mostly good, I’d say) that I can trace back to BONES. I would say some of my best friends in the world are BONES people. And whether we have good family lives or not, I think we all agree with the BONESism that “There’s more than one kind of family” and we really do love our BONES families.
But at what point do we sort of lose ourselves in that? At what point do we get absorbed into the entire BONES deal…
Am I a writer? Or just a person who happens to write about BONES? That sort of thing…
The other night when watching The Couple in the Cave, my brother looked at me twice, kind of joking, and said, “Are you going to be okay?” I laughed (sort of), but I was like…I don’t know. And I remember writing my review after Con Man in the Meth Lab aired, with tears just streaming down my face, and my mom saying, “This might be getting a little too personal, don’t you think?” She’s probably right. It’s not always bad, though. I’ve had smiles on my faces for entire weekends because of single fictional moments…like this one…
And I’ve seen it discussed before, the sort of thing where… “You know you’re obsessed with BONES when…” and I’ve joked about it. Things like “When I eat gorgonzola and feel a little bit guilty” or when I’m driving and on the side of the road, I see a tennis shoe, and immediately I think, “dead body,” at which point I think, “I really hope no one has compromised the remains”. Ha!
Please tell me I’m not the ONLY one who has thoughts like that.
It’s interesting, because when I look back at what BONES has meant to my life, it feels almost romanticized. I want to feel like Booth did the moment he saw Brennan for the first time. I want to say that ‘I knew’, and that since November of 2007, it’s been a journey brought about by a fortuitous moment in time. Either way, it’s like I’ve imprinted myself onto the show. I’m just a baby duck.
But I was chatting with pals on Twitter over the weekend, and we (sort of) joked about how it would be nice if we could just be…indifferent to it. Especially when we don’t feel quite happy with how the storylines are going. For the most part, I’m pretty pleased with things right now, but you know from the 100DaysofBones that I’ve had issues with some storylines, and I’ve discussed those. And there have been times when I wished I could just…stop watching. But it’s like I can’t. And it’s almost scary.
I think, like a lot of things, people have come to BONES for a lot of reasons, but they sort of stick around because of relationships. Sometimes I think that the reason I stick around with BONES is because I don’t want to miss out on the action; I don’t want to let the new friendships I’ve formed slip away. And sometimes I think that if I were to just watch the episodes only and stay away from BONES in social media, I’d be a lot more sane. It sort of goes both ways. That I’m part of the BONES blogosphere is not lost on me, and I’m not trying for a ‘holier than thou’ approach here or anything like that. For friends or fans of the show who are reading this and are fed up with BONES media…I encourage you to just focus on the episodes. I’d rather you not read this blog than to hate BONES because what I say stresses you out too much. Does that make sense?
I’ve also found that while fans of BONES see it as something that helps them deal with real life, and jobs and such, the people who are involved with BONES for their jobs don’t necessarily see it that way. Not that they don’t love their work; I think we can see that they do. But I think it’s fair to say that the writers and actors, etc of the show see it as their jobs. It’s a completely different frame of reference from those of us as fans. Please don’t get me wrong. Again, I’m not saying they don’t love it…but at the root of it, it’s still a job. It’s not their entire lives. When the show is over, they will move on to other shows, and that will sort of be that. And when I listen to interviews, whether I’m the question asker or not, I always get that feeling. The actors and writers are professional and nice and very, very awesome. But they aren’t as caught up into it as we are, I don’t think. It’s not a slam on anyone except myself. It’s always a reality check for me. I’m dedicating hours of my life to someone else’s ‘job’. It always makes me feel a little sick to my stomach, the thought of this team of people ‘moving on’. It must be how BTVS/ANGEL fans feel sometimes. 🙂
So, I guess, in conclusion, while BONES is important to me, it’s not important enough to be my whole life. Does that make sense? Am I being too harsh? I don’t want to be. I’m just trying (like some of you, maybe) to sort of keep that balance…between real life and fiction. I didn’t always measure my life in Thursdays. I struggle with it though. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I have to constantly make myself step out from the “BONES-world”, whether it’s here or on Twitter or wherever and concentrate on my real life. And BONES feels a lot safer sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not ashamed of the time I’ve spent watching it and talking about it with you all. Not one bit. Quack.
Talk to me!
Peace, Love & Bones,