Bones Theory

Symbiotic: Is BONES Good For Us?

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sym·bi·o·sis

/sɪm biˈoʊ sɪs, -baɪ-/ [sim-bee-oh-sis, -bahy-]

–noun, plural -ses.

1.

Biology .

a.

the living together of two dissimilar organisms, as in mutualism, commensalism, amensalism, or parasitism.

b.

(formerly) mutualism ( def. 1 ) .

2.

Psychiatry . a relationship between two people in which each person is dependent upon and receives reinforcement, whether beneficial or detrimental, from the other.

3.

Psychoanalysis . the relationship between an infant and its mother in which the infant is dependent on the mother both physically and emotionally.

4.

any interdependent or mutually beneficial relationship between two persons, groups, etc.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked up symbiotic in the dictionary, and it said mainly that it was an adjective and led to ‘symbiosis’, so I looked that up. I’ve been thinking about this idea for awhile now, and I’m really interested in what you have to say. Is BONES good for us? When I saw words like “parasitism” and “detrimental”, I had to kind of laugh. So I ask again, is BONES good for us? Are we good for it?

Obviously, from a ratings standpoint, yes, the show needs actual viewers to watch. A non-show related friend of mine once said that you can plan a good event, but if no one shows up, it’s not a good event. And BONES could be a great show, but if no one’s watching…

So yes, it does need us. But what does BONES give to us?

This idea has been circulating in my mind for months…years, actually. It always pops up whenever I meet a new group of people. Someone might ask what my hobbies are, and I’ll mention that I blog about BONES. One or two people will think that is awesome, and immediately, we’ll be best friends, haha, and one or two people will be like, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen that show. With that vampire, right?” And I’m like…”um, well…sort of…not really”. But a lot of the time, most people will be like, “I’ve never even seen that show.” It always catches me off guard. It’s as if because I found BONES and watched it like crazy, I think everyone should. As if I wasn’t the EXACT same way when BONES first aired up until Santa in the Slush. If someone had told me then that they were a BONES blogger, I would have been like… “Oh, um…interesting?” Now that I’m on the other side of that, there’s always a moment where I’m like… “oh…most people don’t really know what BONES is”. When I’m on Twitter, or stuff like that, it seems like everyone is talking about BONES. Well, yeah, (I say to myself), that’s because I follow people who are BONES fans. It’s like going to a StarTrek convention and being amazed at how every single person you meet has also seen an episode of ST. So I feel like I’m always sort of torn between the ‘context’ of BONES and how it fits in the world. And so then I’m always sort of torn between myself and how I fit into the world in that way. Does that make sense?

Is the effort I give toward BONES equal to what I gain from it? And is the level of interest I have in the show healthy? Depending on how I know you, you might say yes or no.

There are so many things in my life (mostly good, I’d say) that I can trace back to BONES. I would say some of my best friends in the world are BONES people. And whether we have good family lives or not, I think we all agree with the BONESism that “There’s more than one kind of family” and we really do love our BONES families.

But at what point do we sort of lose ourselves in that? At what point do we get absorbed into the entire BONES deal…

Am I a writer? Or just a person who happens to write about BONES? That sort of thing…

The other night when watching The Couple in the Cave, my brother looked at me twice, kind of joking, and said, “Are you going to be okay?” I laughed (sort of), but I was like…I don’t know. And I remember writing my review after Con Man in the Meth Lab aired, with tears just streaming down my face, and my mom saying, “This might be getting a little too personal, don’t you think?” She’s probably right. It’s not always bad, though. I’ve had smiles on my faces for entire weekends because of single fictional moments…like this one…

 

And I’ve seen it discussed before, the sort of thing where… “You know you’re obsessed with BONES when…” and I’ve joked about it. Things like “When I eat gorgonzola and feel a little bit guilty” or when I’m driving and on the side of the road, I see a tennis shoe, and immediately I think, “dead body,” at which point I think, “I really hope no one has compromised the remains”. Ha!

Please tell me I’m not the ONLY one who has thoughts like that.

It’s interesting, because when I look back at what BONES has meant to my life, it feels almost romanticized. I want to feel like Booth did the moment he saw Brennan for the first time. I want to say that ‘I knew’, and that since November of 2007, it’s been a journey brought about by a fortuitous moment in time. Either way, it’s like I’ve imprinted myself onto the show. I’m just a baby duck.

But I was chatting with pals on Twitter over the weekend, and we (sort of) joked about how it would be nice if we could just be…indifferent to it. Especially when we don’t feel quite happy with how the storylines are going. For the most part, I’m pretty pleased with things right now, but you know from the 100DaysofBones that I’ve had issues with some storylines, and I’ve discussed those. And there have been times when I wished I could just…stop watching. But it’s like I can’t. And it’s almost scary.

I think, like a lot of things, people have come to BONES for a lot of reasons, but they sort of stick around because of relationships. Sometimes I think that the reason I stick around with BONES is because I don’t want to miss out on the action; I don’t want to let the new friendships I’ve formed slip away.  And sometimes I think that if I were to just watch the episodes only and stay away from BONES in social media, I’d be a lot more sane. It sort of goes both ways. That I’m part of the BONES blogosphere is not lost on me, and I’m not trying for a ‘holier than thou’ approach here or anything like that. For friends or fans of the show who are reading this and are fed up with BONES media…I encourage you to just focus on the episodes. I’d rather you not read this blog than to hate BONES because what I say stresses you out too much. Does that make sense?

I’ve also found that while fans of BONES see it as something that helps them deal with real life, and jobs and such, the people who are involved with BONES for their jobs don’t necessarily see it that way. Not that they don’t love their work; I think we can see that they do. But I think it’s fair to say that the writers and actors, etc of the show see it as their jobs. It’s a completely different frame of reference from those of us as fans. Please don’t get me wrong. Again, I’m not saying they don’t love it…but at the root of it, it’s still a job. It’s not their entire lives. When the show is over, they will move on to other shows, and that will sort of be that. And when I listen to interviews, whether I’m the question asker or not, I always get that feeling. The actors and writers are professional and nice and very, very awesome. But they aren’t as caught up into it as we are, I don’t think. It’s not a slam on anyone except myself. It’s always a reality check for me. I’m dedicating hours of my life to someone else’s ‘job’. It always makes me feel a little sick to my stomach, the thought of this team of people ‘moving on’. It must be how BTVS/ANGEL fans feel sometimes. 🙂

So, I guess, in conclusion, while BONES is important to me, it’s not important enough to be my whole life. Does that make sense? Am I being too harsh? I don’t want to be. I’m just trying (like some of you, maybe) to sort of keep that balance…between real life and fiction. I didn’t always measure my life in Thursdays. I struggle with it though. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I have to constantly make myself step out from the “BONES-world”, whether it’s here or on Twitter or wherever and concentrate on my real life. And BONES feels a lot safer sometimes.  

Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not ashamed of the time I’ve spent watching it and talking about it with you all. Not one bit.  Quack.

Talk to me!

Peace, Love & Bones,

~S

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13 thoughts on “Symbiotic: Is BONES Good For Us?

  1. I completely understand how you feel. I would feel a real void if I quit watching the show. And I would never give up my Bones friends for anything in the world. For some reason, this show brings together some of the most wacky and wonderful people on the net and I love them all.

    Hi, my name is Jen and I am a Bones addict. And I don’t need a meeting to admit that. 🙂

  2. My Twitter name says it all, right? I struggle with this all the time. (It’s just a show, it’s just a fictional show)… But it’s a show that has real-life effects on my daily life. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times a day I think about Bones. I get on to Twitter… Bones. I get a fanfiction alert… For Bones. I read articles and blog posts… About Bones. I’m making plans for later this week, and someone suggested we meet Thursday at 8 pm… Can’t, Bones is on.

    It feels like too much. It feels overwhelming sometimes.

    However…

    The one person I can’t go a day without talking/tweeting/emailing with is my BFF… That I met on Twitter… When we were discussing Bones.

    In fact, via Twitter, I’ve made a little family of strangers who all met because we had a love of Bones in common… And now we discuss, cheer on and celebrate each others daily lives together. Wouldn’t have happened without Bones.

    When I was a kid, I could read 12 hours a day for fun. By the time I got to high school and college, I only read for school. And after school, I’d be lucky to find a short magazine article that could hold my attention. Since finding Bones fanfiction, I read 2-3 hours a day, at my lunch break, before bed, new chapters posted between my long work day. A year ago, I was completely devoid of interest in reading leisurely. Now, I can’t get enough.

    And writing? I have seriously written anything in 10 years that wasn’t school or work-related. But I used to be a great writer and more importantly, I really enjoyed it. Slowly, I’ve started tapping into that creative reserve to write about Bones.

    So… Yep, I’m a little obsessed. And my energy might be better directed toward solving some sort of worldly crisis (cause I’ve got a lot of Bones energy). But without Bones, I’d be short a few good people, my love of reading and writing redux, and a Thursday night date night with a show that I really enjoy. So, obsessed-state aside, I get a lot back from Bones. And wouldn’t trade it for anything. 🙂

  3. There are moments when I have to step back and remind myself that it’s only a show. It’s not real and the people involved are not really the characters they portray. All summer I’ve been a little Bones crazy. Anxiously awaiting the new season to start. That’s not to say that I spent HOURS upon HOURS watching Bones (most of the time) but I did watch a lot of it- reruns.
    When I try to imagine my life without Bones I see a life that’s just a little more boring than it already is. I think a void would be there, but of course I’m thinking this after already loving the show. If I’d never seen it what would it be like? Yet, despite the fact that I’m sometimes too caught up in this fictional story, I wouldn’t change it.
    I think sometimes as fans we do need to take a step back and remember that it’s not real- okay only in our heads is it real. But don’t ever regret stumbling upon the show and finding this amazing show that teaches us about relationships between unique and wonderful people.
    Don’t regret it, just remember to take a step back sometimes.

  4. I offer this post as further validation for all my new Bones pals. I think I will have to “bullet point” it, because though I love to expound upon all things Bones like the rest of you, my own “real life” these days is demanding too many hours from me.

    Point 1: It’s a TV show. Yes. However, isn’t TV, movies, novels, poetry, music and all of the entertainment arts out there for us to use to escape from our lives? Aren’t there book clubs galore out there? This is the Bones club.

    Point 2: Is it not heartening to know that fictional characters can help us understand our own character? Bones may not be Pulitzer literature, but we can liken it to literature nonetheless, which often leads to teaching us something about ourselves and the world around us. Who says a TV show can’t contribute? Not me. If it speaks to you, go with it.

    Point 3: Social outlets are healthy. This is one. Therefore it is healthy. Okay, so the logic isn’t sound on that, but really, there is a little bit of something to it, right? I cannot find fault with something that brings people together in a positive manner.

    Point 4: Even obsessions can have positive effects. When limited. When it does not adversely affect others around you. When it does not adversely affect your well being. I believe we all have obsessions throughout our lives. Many would simply call them passions. I am passionate for Bones right now. I am glad others are out there sharing my passion, too.

    Phew. I think I wrote that in record time. Now, back to grading essays . . .

  5. Um…wow! I love you all for the validation you just provided. 🙂

    I, too, struggle with finding a balance between Bones and my daily life. Part of it is my personality, though, so if it weren’t Bones, it would be something else. Personally I can think of a lot worse things to obsess about.

    The key, I think, is to remain aware of the issue and to pull back if that’s what’s necessary at the moment.

    As for the rest of the time, whenever my my husband gives me a dirty look and asks me to talk about something other than Bones, I’ll comply (for his sanity, of course). But when I have the time, you can bet that I’ll be on here sharing my theories with people who, underneath the surface, are just as crazy as I am!

  6. Okay, here I am an almost 35 year old woman, wife and mother of 2 who is clearly crazy for Bones. I read reviews, google alerts, read fan fiction and forums, and chat with fans/friends/cast and crew on twitter.

    I can’t wait for Thursdays, it is my must see TV night for Bones. I will ignore my family on that night of television. Sad but true.

    I hate the fact that the show is only an hour but then get excited to know I can log on and see what my fellow Bones addicts think about the show. I can’t wait to see what Marisa at GMMR has as a scoop. The rest of my days are filled with family and work so to have this escape is wonderful. But what is even better is that I can express my thoughts and concerns with people who I think of as my Bones friends.

    Yes, I too, know that this is a just a tv show but it is so much more. I may not agree with everything that Hart Hanson has planned for my favorite non-couple, but knowing that he too is a shipper at heart always gives me hope. I am not going to jump to the dessert, I want the whole 9 course meal (and a bottle of tums included). I wouldn’t miss this ride for the world since it can only get sweeter and more enjoyable as we learn more about these characters.

  7. I think Bones is not supposed to be everything to me, but it is. I’ve gotten so involved in the show, that honestly, “all roads lead to Bones.” I’ve actually said this multiple times to people.
    And they look at me trying to comprehend how I’m so involved, and I can’t explain it. If you’re on the inside (ie Very obsessed with Bones), you get it. But if you’re not, it’s hard for it to make sense.
    I get asked why I love the show, and it’s hard to put into words. It’s like, how do you explain that the fact that Booth and Brennan aren’t a “couple” yet kills you? How that hour Bones is on your tv is worth more than the other hours of your week? How you fantasize in school about Bones and how all your writing is somehow Bones-related?
    And maybe I use the excuse that I’m just a kid. But I’m not 14 years old either. I’m somewhere in the middle at the point in my life where I’m supposed to be focusing on school and grades and college.
    Yet I find myself spending hours checking spoilers, re-watching episodes, analyzing them over and over, watching the scenes that break my heart, reading fanfics and getting caught up in everything that is Bones.
    I realize that I probably should not be this involved in a tv show. A fictional world.
    But I can’t.
    I’m too immersed in this world, too connected with these people, and I don’t want to get out. And even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to.
    It would hurt too much.
    So, all though I realize that loving Bones too much is unhealthy and like a drug, I won’t stop.
    I’ll shut my eyes, cover my ears, and scream when something happens that I don’t like; I’ll complain and blog about it to everybody who cares; but I won’t give up on Booth and Brennan until all hope really is lost or they are together.
    And they will be together. They have to because we believe in it so strongly.
    What keeps me going is the thought that
    “everything happens eventually.”

  8. Yep I am right there with you. I try not to read blogs and reviews but I do. I hurt when B and B hurt. I miss their deep connection and I have to remind myself it is not real. Great article…..I agonized over Hannah and would love a commitment from Hart when she will be gone. I was happier with Bones when I was not reading spoilers and reviews and just watched for the fun of it. I want to go back to that place again.

  9. This is a very interesting question that I’ve been asking myself a lot recently, but not about Bones, but a book series and related just-released movie that I am quite obsessed over. The difficulty with my obsessions, though, is that I’m very prone to them. I’m a “should have been diagnosed as Asperger’s” girl (with related diagnosed issues on the side) that makes me prone to obsession. I’m obsessed with owls. I talk nonstop owls when I’m stressed or excited. I am also quite Bones obsessed (equal to owls). It was my solace in a very scary freshman year of college. I latched onto Brennan, the obsessed with her work, confused about emotions, scared of change, observing things that nobody else sees-Brennan, and found someone I could relate to, the only such character that I’ve seen on TV. Many of the ways she has changed in the past two seasons, the most recent three episodes in particular, are familiar. I guess that’s what makes the show so “real” to me — I “get it” where I do not get most other shows. Bones is the source of common fellowship for my friends and I. Bones is a “safe” topic for me to talk on and on about, because other people do too. Owls are not safe, not “normal”. Bones is.

    The problem is when fact and fiction converge. I embrace these characters as “real” people sometimes, and I know I have to step back and remember that it’s all fiction — that this show is a job for people, and I’m amazed with what a job they do. To remember that it’s fiction, I look for errors. I live right outside DC, so I look for palm trees (since it’s filmed in CA). I cringe at the art mistakes in the Night at the Bones Museum. I also nourish the healthier aspects of the obsession — I take a look at what real forensic anthropologists and artists do by going to my favorite museum exhibit, “Written in Bone: the Forensic Files of 17th Century Chesapeake” at the Smithsonian’s Natural History Museum (a must-see exhibit for any Bones fan).

    Yes, obsession over this show is both beneficial and detrimental, but I believe that as long as we take it the healthy way, learn about what they are talking about, embrace that it is fiction, and talk with each other about it, then we’ll be fine. To use it as an outlet to escape is fine, to an extent. It’s all about balance… which is what symbiosis is, isn’t it?

  10. I’m going to reply before I read everyone else’s responses, so I can write how reading your post made me react, without any other influence.

    The last time I cared about/watched a TV show with this intensity, I was around 16 years old. So my obsession with Bones is unsettling for me, as I am on the other side of 40 now, and have a fleshed out, complicated life, what with family, a career and the usual things that middle age (OMG, you know what I mean when I type that!) bring. Being so into fictional characters, by watching, reading blogs and reviews, following spoilers – it seems in some sense a juvenile thing to me – but obviously it’s not, as I’m doing so, and have been exposed to many others who are also doing so.

    Bones usually makes me happy (a little less lately though) – and I find that it has made me more aware of myself – with watching it and thinking about the lives of the characters. I have introduced several people to the show, but no one anywhere near obsessed as I am. I have come to terms with just accepting this interest in the show, etc as just the way it is….and am happy to indulge my need to immerse myself in the show!

  11. My daily life revolves around Bones. They are like my extended family members.They are unique and perfect in their own way.

  12. Bones is different from all other procedurals I’ve seen. Of all the CSIs including NCIS, I love NCIS the most but I never ever went to a blog to discuss it or got to a situation where I could not get enough of it. Bones is just different. I only started watching it mid-December 2011 and saw all the aired eps in 3 days. I did not eat or sleep till I caught up then I went looking for answers and found BT in January 2012.

    The actors do a great job and kudos to them for being able to keep us glued.

  13. I’m a very late comer, I started watching Bones on Netflix fall of 2014 with my husband. We are now on the last few episodes of season 9 and I am so scared to end the show that I can’t bring myself to watch these last episodes. Every spare moment that I have I watch old episodes on Netflix and I get on Bones Theory. I don’t know what I will do when the show is finished, I am so scared of how empty I will feel especially because my husband is the only other person I know who watches the show and of course, he is not as passionate about it as I am. I feel like Booth and Brennan’s story is SO REAL.

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