Bones Theory

Rock the Vote 2010: Candidates Announced


Folks, if you’ve just tuned in to BONES: Rock the Vote 2010, then you’ve picked just the right time to join in. We’re here at campaign headquarters where it looks like two candidates are about to emerge as the lead vote-getters in the coveted position of Biggest B&B Shipper. The results from last week’s poll are in, with Dr. Lance Sweets coming in with nearly 40% of the vote and Forensic Artist Angela Montenegro following with nearly 30% of the votes. And sources say that both Lance Sweets and Angela Montenegro are prepared to announce their choices for running mates tonight as well. Caroline Julian, once in the running for Shipper-in-Chief, has now agreed to moderate the convention and will interview Dr. Sweets and Ms. Montenegro.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, and…whatever you people in the blue labcoats call yourselves…can I have your attention please? Now, we are gathered here today to begin the process in determining who will be named the biggest shipper of Agent Booth and Doctor Brennan. Those of you who know me know that normally, I would abhor anything even remotely associated with such nonsense, but…I have to admit, those two, they get my body a’fluttering.”

“Right, I can see from your faces that you don’t like the idea that a woman of my age and occupation would be so intrigued in the sex lives of younger and very attractive people, and so therefore, I’ll move on with this evening’s scheduled discussion. The first matter of business is this: Do you, Angela Montenegro, accept the candidacy for Biggest B&B Shipper?”

“I absolutely do accept. I can’t wait to prove myself as the ultimate B&B shipper.”


“That is excellent, Ms. Montenegro. Now to you, young Dr. Sweets. Do you accept the candidacy for Biggest B&B Shipper?”

“Oh, heck yes. It’s going to be fierce amazing. I’m mega-pumped.”

“Right…of course you are. And, Ms. Montenegro, are you prepared to announce your choice for Vice-Shipper? The person who will run alongside of you in this quest and maybe get you to stop saying ‘ew’ every time you come in contact with a dead body?”

“Yes, I am. Um, I mean, I am prepared to do so. My motto for this election is: Angela: Trusted Shipper since 2005, and I’ve chosen someone who has been right there alongside me since 2005. I’ve chosen someone who received a fair share of the votes in the original round. This person is a friend to both Booth and Brennan and is someone I feel I can work well with. The person I have chosen is my own husband, Dr. Jack Hodgins.”

“Interesting, Ms. Montenegro. Very interesting. I’m sure that if the both of you can manage to keep your clothes on for the next seven days, our viewers will be pleased to hear from him next week during the Vice-Shipper debates. But first, we must find out whom he will be debating against. Dr. Sweets…are you prepared to announce your choice for Vice-Shipper? The person who will run alongside of you and maybe also once and for all give you some vocabulary lessons?”


“Oh, um…yeah. I mean, yes. Yes, I am prepared to do that. Unlike Ms. Montenegro, I have not chosen my running-mate from the list of available candidates. You, of course, were unavailable, and when I inquired before that as to whether you were interested in assisting me, well…I think that’s the hardest I’ve ever seen anyone laugh before. But…nevertheless, I persevered and made my choice. Apparently, there was some sort of legal discrepancy in having Max Keenan run for official office and Dr. Saroyan declined to run, citing personal and professional bias. So, I have chosen someone I feel will both assist me in this position but who is also capable of serving as shipper should I face some uncertain death.”

“Dr. Sweets! Please stop talking and just tell us who you’ve chosen!”


“Right, um…right. I’ve chosen Dr. Wyatt as my choice for Vice-Shipper”


“Well, that’s just grand, and now it’s time we toss it back to the studio where they no doubt have some sort of analysis for tonight’s events.”

Thank you, Ms. Julian. And…this just in…a correspondent outside the building has spotted the somewhat elusive Booth and Brennan. Up until now, they’ve studiously avoided any discussion on the subject of this election, but we’ve managed to corral them. Let’s listen in…

“Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan, um…yeah…so, I guess there’s this thing, where it’s like, and then you…and…yeah, what do you think?”

“What do we think?”

“Yeah, you know, about the whole “who’s the biggest shipper of you guys” and stuff like that.”


“I don’t know what that means.”

“It doesn’t mean anything, Bones. It’s nothing. Just forget it. Trust me.”

“I do trust you, Booth. I don’t see what that has to do with nautical ventures however.”

“Ah…that’s a good joke, Dr. Brennan. I’d totally ship you.”

“Okay, you know what Noel? That’s enough. How’d you even find us anyway? Actually…we don’t want to know. Come on, Bones…let’s get out of here.”

… “I think I’d kind of like to know, Booth.”

“Bones…just drop it.”


“Um…they are sort of walking away from me now. Do I still get paid?”

Well, okay! (someone pay him and…offer him a shower or something…). Okay! Yes, well…be sure to tune in next week for the Vice-Shipper debate between Dr. Jack Hodgins and Dr. Gordon Gordon Wyatt.  Until then, feel free to use the comments below to describe how you’ll be voting. Will it be for #TeamAngela and the Montenegro/Hodgins ticket?



Or will it be for #TeamSweets and the Sweets/Wyatt ticket?

Who will your vote support on November 2nd? What questions would you like to see our candidates answer? Discuss below!


22 thoughts on “Rock the Vote 2010: Candidates Announced

  1. Team Angela and Hodgins all the way baby !

  2. Team Sweets/Wyatt!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. This is hysterical, and so very well done. You capture their voices perfectly.

    (And I don’t have a clue who to vote for, since my primary candidate was taken out of the running!)

    Hmm. I think I’ll have to put my Sweets-has-harmed-more-than-helped antipathy aside and vote for him and Gordon Gordon. I love Wyatt.

  4. *giggle giggle*
    I’m all about Sweets-Wyatt! They have “wicked awesome brains” – can’t go wrong there! Wyatt will help balance Sweets – although Sweets is doing a pretty good job getting into Booth’s head this season, I think . . .
    Plus, Sweets gave a “fierce” wordy answer and I can relate to that!

  5. If I truly value my life, I think I am honor-bound to vote Sweets/Wyatt…even though that’s how I would have voted anyway. 🙂

  6. Maybe I don’t get out of the house enough, but I think this is brilliant (not to mention incredibly funny)! 🙂

    Although I voted for Angela the first time, I’m going to have to wait until all the evidence is in before I make my final decision…

  7. Hahahaha – this is hysterical!!! I love it!! 🙂

  8. This is soo much more fun than the news channels! =)

    What I’d like to ask the candidates is “What do you see as your biggest accomplishment and biggest failure at getting Brennan and Booth together?” and “What, if any, ideas/tricks do you have for securing their future together?”

    Gawsh, I feel like an informed citizen standing up at a City Council meeting, or something! And I know who I voted for in the primary, but I’ll wait to find out what’s on their agenda before I give my vote away.

    😉 Thanks for the election coverage! That reporter guy Noel is soo cool!!!!!!!

  9. If only the real elections could be this fun! I absolutely love this “campaign” but will have to reserve my decision until I hear arguments. 🙂

  10. Hmmm…. I voted Angela in the primary but may have to switch my final vote mostly on Sweets “and our brains are wicked awesome” campaign. I laughed out loud while working the reference desk at the library. This is wicked awesome! 🙂

    I agree that fielding a couple of questions from the elegible voters would be good. DBCrazy’s are excellent.

  11. Wow, this is so creative. I love it!! I’m excited to see what our “candidates” have to say.

  12. I can hardly wait for the “vice-shipper” debate. And I don’t even care that I accidentally rhymed.

  13. I am definitely giggling after reading that! Tee hee! How entertaining and to quote Sweets, totally awesome!

    I think I’m sticking with my original vote for team Sweets, but I’m willing to listen to what the shipper and vice-shipper candidates have to say before making my final choice. 😉

    Do we get to ask our candidates questions? because DBCrazy’s are great!

  14. This is just priceless!

    And I love DBCrazy’s question! It’s a superb one! (especially for Sweets. :/)

    I’m gonna wait for the debate next week to form a definitive conclusion but Gordon Gordon is definitely a win so right now I think my preference goes to team Sweets-Wyatt.

  15. i am so voting for sweets!

  16. haha! This just totally made my day! I’ll have to retain my original vote for Sweets and his wicked awesome running mate Dr. Gordon Gordon Wyatt. No way B&B could withstand those two together. 🙂

  17. Ha I totally loved this! Made my night!

    Totally Team Angela & Hodgins!

    Loved how you threw Noel in there.

  18. so fun and funny! sweets-WYATT team gets my vote – the caps give you my reasoning.

  19. Team Angela/Hodgins!!!

  20. I have to agree with Jen and vote for Sweets/Wyatt too 🙂

    Their arguments and campaign slogans were fantastic! LOL!

  21. Hahaha….love this!

    I’m all for Sweets/Wyatt…i’m way to mad at Ange to vote her for anything! LOL

    It’s all about Gordon Gordon and Baby Duck!

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