Bones Theory

Rock the Vote 2010: Man on the Street


BONES fans, once again we’re rockin it for Rock the Vote: 2010, and today, we’re taking it to the streets to see what the average person thinks about the campaign. Well, actually, we’re not really on the street. We’re at the Jeffersonian with some squint on the street action. Here’s our first squint, Mr. Vasiri.

Arastoo Vasiri, who will you be voting for in this year’s election?

This is an interesting question, isn’t it? I must say that as far as the election is concerned, I will look into my heart and vote based on loyalty and friendship.

Right, okay…but you didn’t really answer the question.

Ah…but I did!

Hmmm…moving on. Ah, here’s Dr. Clark Edison. I’m sure he’s got an opinion. Clark…Clark! Clark!! Whoa…I almost had to run to catch up to you.

Get the hint.

Um, what was that?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Okay, well…we’re here at the lab to get the opinion of the squints. Who’s the biggest B&B shipper? Angela or Dr. Sweets?

Are you serious? You’re serious. You’re seriously coming in here, to my workplace…and asking me this? Has anyone ever considered the possibility that if Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth were actually left alone, they might actually get together?

So, are you admitting that you want Booth and Brennan together?

No comment.

Sure, Clark. Whatever you say. Now, if you’ll excuse me, we’re going to head over to speak with Mr. Fisher, and…oh…hello, Ms. Wick.

Aren’t you going to ask me too?

Hmmm? What’s that?

The question. The question you’ve been asking all of Dr. Brennan’s graduate students. Aren’t you going to ask me as well?

Oh, um…yes, sure. Who do you think is the biggest—

Certainly my Lancelot. It’s not even a contest, really. In fact, anyone who dares to challenge him is foolish. What I don’t understand is why he didn’t ask me to be his running mate. For one thing, I’ve trained in many marathons. Ha! But apparently, that’s not all a running mate does! I jest, I jest. I’m quite amusing, as my mentor Dr. Temperance Brennan can be. But that’s really why I SHOULD have been asked. You see, like my Sweets, who often aspires to be like Agent Booth, I aspire to be like Dr. Brennan, and therefore, therefore…hey, where are you going?! I wasn’t finished yet! Come back! I have an entire powerpoint on my reasoning. Come Baaaaaaaaaaack!

Right, um…I guess we had some technical difficulties there, darling voters. But, thankfully, we’re back up and running, and speaking of running, we’ve just run in to Colin Fisher, who I’m sure has an opinion.

Yes, I do, though I’m sure you don’t wish to hear it.

Oh, Mr. Fisher, you are so funny.

Actually, I’m told that I’m not funny. Least of all when I’m trying to be.

Right. Yes, um…right. Okay, well, then. We’re here talking about the upcoming election, featuring the relationship between Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth.


Um…Dr. Brennan. And Agent Booth. You know, tall guy. Looks good in suits? Looks better out of them?

Oh right, him. The guy with the sperm. Yeah, sure, I’ll run against him. I think I could beat him as a potential donor for Dr. Brennan’s baby.

No, no. You don’t understand. You won’t be running in the election. I’m just asking for your opinion, that’s all.

I see. Yes, I do see. Well, if my sperm isn’t good enough, then why would my opinion be?

That…that is a good point. Yes…okay then. Thanks for your time. Oh, over there. It’s Vincent Nigel Murray. Hopefully he has an opinion. Or at the very least, something not creepy to say. Mr. Nigel Murray!

Well, hellooooooo.

Yes, hi. You’re a smart guy. Who do you think is going to win in the election between Dr. Sweets and Ms. Montenegro?

Ah, that is an excellent question. It’s so hard to pinpoint really. Much like the proverbial needle in a haystack if you will, a person who seeks to find the perfect answer to such a question is likely destined for disappointment from Dr. Brennan herself. I mean…or from anyone really. Not that I would know, as I’m one of Dr. Brennan’s prized students. She’s…almost said it herself. Though she doesn’t really speak much. It’s more that she doesn’t quite look at me with disdain when I speak. All in all, I’d say that yes, I am most qualified to answer this question.

Okay, so…are you?

Am I what? Qualified? My dear, I do believe I’ve already answered that. Are we listening?

No…my question. Are you going to answer my question? Who will win in the election?

Oh, right, yes. Hmmmm, yes, that is quite the question, isn’t it.

Hmmmmm, yes. I think so. While you consider your verbose response, I’m going to walk over here and interview your colleague, Wendell Bray. Wendell, you are perhaps the most down to earth of all of Dr. Brennan’s students, giving you the advantage of also knowing Agent Booth better than the rest of the squinterns. I’m sure the voters want to know who you’ll be voting for in the election.

Ah, well…it seems like it would be cheating to say who, but…you all seem pretty trustworthy. You know, I really do like Dr. Sweets. He’s a pretty cool guy. And Dr. Wyatt…well, he’s a genius. Even Dr. Brennan thinks so, and well…that really means a lot. But when it comes to an issue like this…I say you gotta go with family. And for me, when I think of family, I think of Angela and Dr. Hodgins. They’ll get my vote.

So there you have it, folks. Six squints and their opinions/ thoughts/ complaints/ delusions.  Can’t go wrong there! Stay tuned this week for more coverage!


8 thoughts on “Rock the Vote 2010: Man on the Street

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Rock the Vote 2010: Man on the Street « Bones Theory --

  2. Ha ha! You nailed them all perfectly!

  3. I could hear their voices in my head you were writing them so well…or you know maybe that’s just a problem I have. lol. Anyways this vote just keeps getting more and more awesome. 🙂

  4. Hehe, this is great 🙂 Daisy would indeed be very put out that she was not Sweets’ running mate!

  5. Too funny…you’ve captured their voices perfectly!

  6. Spot on! Hysterical!

  7. Hahaha these Squinterns are just perfect to mess around with!
    This was hilarious!

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