Bones Theory

Rock the Vote 2010: Vice-Shipper Debate



Good evening, and welcome to the Vice-Shipper debate between Dr. Jack Hodgins and Dr. Gordon Gordon Wyatt. Neither of these esteemed gentlemen is up for an election; rather, each one is here to answer questions as to the qualifications of the person to whom he is serving as a running mate. It’s time to toss it down to our moderator for the evening, Ms. Caroline Julian. Ms. Julian?

Thank you very much. As I’m sure you’re interested in getting started…let’s not waste any time. Let’s get right to it. Dr. Hodgins, we’ll begin with you, and your opening statement. Please begin.

Thank you very much, Ms. Julian. And thank you to each person here for tonight’s debate. It’s an honor to be here, to serve as a running mate for my amazing wife, Angela Montenegro. But, I’ve gotta admit, even if we weren’t married, I’d still be proud to be her running mate. You see, I’ve known Angela a long time, and I’ve seen the way she’s dedicated many hours to getting Booth and Brennan together. She’s Dr. Brennan’s best friend; she’s intuitive like Booth, and she’s got experience in the love department.  She’s absolutely the best choice for B&B Shipper, and like I do week after week in the lab, I’m here to prove it.

Well, that was quite nice, Dr. Hodgins. And now on to you, Dr. Wyatt. What is your opening statement?

Greetings, Ms. Julian, and greetings, good members of the Bones fandom. It is with great pleasure that I stand before you in support of the esteemed young Doctor Sweets. For indeed I do feel that while, as Dr. Hodgins so eloquently mentioned, he and Ms. Montenegro make a concerted effort toward the resolution of the distance between the dapper Agent Booth and the lovely Dr. Brennan, I must say that in my estimation, Dr. Sweets has more of an inside track, if you will. He additionally has more at stake in the B&B relationship as it were. Therefore, I felt I had to throw my hat into the proverbial ring to assist him in his quest for Shipper in Chief.

Thank you Dr. Wyatt. And now for our first question. Each of you will have the opportunity to respond. We’ll begin with you, Dr. Wyatt, and the first question is this:

Is being a ‘shipper’ even worthwhile at this point? Are we looking at a lost cause where Booth and Brennan are concerned?

Oh, I certainly do declare…not in the least! In fact, I’d be willing to say there’s no greater time to be a shipper for Brennan and Booth. The rather impassioned response to this debate has proven quite rightly that people want Booth and Brennan together. It’s imperative that someone rise up and fight for this couple. To stand tall and proud and say, “I want to see Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan together and in love!” And there is such a man in this world, and his name is Dr. Lance Sweets. Whom else is there in this world who truly knows our favorite crime fighting pair? Who indeed? I challenge my opponent and anyone else to find such a man.

Dr. Hodgins?

Well, on certain things, Dr. Wyatt and I agree. It IS the time, right now, to really dig deep, man. To say…no, no, we’re not going to stop rooting for our favorite pair. However, it’s not a man who truly knows Booth and Brennan. No, it’s Angela. She’s the one. She just…is. I shouldn’t have to describe her qualities, but I’m happy to. Dr. Brennan doesn’t value psychology, but she values friendship. She has that with Angela. Yes. Yes, it’s time my friends. But it’s also time to really look and see what’s going on. When it comes to matters of the heart, Angela is a force to be reckoned with.

Thank you, gentlemen. Dr. Hodgins, our next question is for you and comes from Stephanie: How would you define Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan, and their relationship in “bug and slime” terms?

That is an excellent question, Stephanie. I’d have to say this: the dirtier, the grimier, the better. The deeper you dig, the harder you look, the more you see the truth. Bugs and slime…they don’t lie, baby, and when you get down to the nitty-gritty of Dr. Brennan and of Agent Booth… you find the truth. The truth is what burrows down deep into their very beings, and they can’t deny that. And, just like the way a seemingly small and insignificant insect can house a new secret to be revealed, if you take a little piece from Agent Booth or from Dr. Brennan, you’ll see something new, something that might be the key to unlocking the whole damn thing.

Dr. Wyatt, your question from Stephanie follows the same principle: How would you define Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan, and their relationship in culinary terms?

Ah, most excellent question, Stephanie. I must admit this is something I’ve considered as I’ve putted around my kitchen, sometimes rather woefully at times. In my opinion, Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth are like the finest cheesecake and the most decadent raspberries. Is each one exquisite on its own? Why yes, indeed it is. Likewise, Brennan and Booth. But when together…oh yes, this is a most excellent question. Because, you see of course, apart, they are quite amazing, but when the raspberries are joined with the cheesecake, it’s as if all of heaven has descended into the form of culinary bliss. Did each part, the cheesecake and the raspberries take time and hard work to develop? Of course. Seeds were planted, curds were separated from whey, berries were picked, cream was allowed to settle. They’ve suffered elements of heat and rain, and have survived as the best to be offered. And when together, they provide immense pleasure. Immense pleasure indeed.

Our next question comes from the lovely mind of Sharon, who asks for both of you, “What do you think that the eventual and inevitable consummation (how, where, when,…) of the relationship between Booth and Brennan will look like?” Dr. Wyatt, we’ll begin with you.

Thank you, Sharon, for the most refreshing question. Dr. Sweets and I were just speaking on this the other day. We’re both of the mind that it must happen organically. Each one must be firmly rooted in self confidence and the ability to love and accept love. Do we feel as you do and that it’s ‘eventual and inevitable’? Yes, yes we do. In fact, we’d say it’s probably closer than any one person might think. But if I had to hazard a guess on the how, where and when…I’d have to say this: I believe it will be in private. I believe it will be at the end of a particularly grueling case. I believe that there will come a crossroads of sorts, where one of them will feel immense emotional pain. And the other will…will be there. To comfort, to support. A confession of love will be made. And it will be reciprocated. No grand parades. No ultimatums. Just two people finally telling each other the truth.

Dr. Hodgins? Your reply?

Sharon, it’s funny that you mentioned this, because Angela and I were also just talking about this the other day. I mean, we were sitting at the diner, sharing a plate of fries, and she just looked at me and smiled. And do you know what she asked? She asked me, “What would be the perfect way for Booth and Brennan to get together. Really really get together?” I laughed of course…she’s so amazing. But then we actually talked about it. All due respect to Dr. Wyatt and all, but I don’t know, you guys. I mean, have you seen Booth and Brennan when they are mad at each other? When they are just all up in each other’s space and face and everything? As two people who have witnessed it over and over,  Angela and I can tell you…there’s just this electric energy that comes with it. And underneath that energy is this undercurrent of…possibility. Oh yeah…it’s amazing. At any moment…anything could happen. One of these days, Dr. Brennan’s going to say something offhand about Agent Booth, and he’ll get in her face. She won’t back down; she never does. In fact…she’ll step closer, and with eyes blazing, she’ll stand her ground and challenge Booth even more. But if she’s confident, it’s nothing compared to how he’ll be. And he’ll very calmly tell her exactly what he thinks is right. And in that moment…in that instant of a moment…no matter where they are, who else is around, what time it is…none of it will matter. Everything will come down to one man and one woman. And one of them will make a move. And after that? Well, it won’t be soft kisses and gentle declarations of love, my friends. No, it’s going to be electric. Powering a small city-level of electric, if you know what I mean, Bones fans!

Our next question comes from Nicole, and it’s for Dr. Hodgins. Dr. Hodgins, do you think a personality like Dr. Brennan’s could meld well with a personality like Booth’s? How would they make a relationship work with some key differences that can often-times make or break a relationship?

Nicole, this is possibly the biggest challenge that Booth and Brennan face. I’m really glad you asked this, because it’s important that we are honest about it. The relationship between Booth and Brennan isn’t all apple pie and sexual chemistry. Angela and I are walking proof of that very thing. And I’d also contend that this is what gives her the edge of her opponent Dr. Sweets. Nothing against the kid, but we’ve all gotta admit, when it comes to the love department…he’s still figuring things out. Hey, I’m not trying to be mean. It’s just the truth. Like I said, nothing against him. Angela’s been there. I’ve been there…we’ve all been there. And he just…is there. But Angela and I…we’re past that. We’re walking proof of evidence that it’s possible that two seemingly opposite people can make things work. Dr. Brennan is rational. Agent Booth is emotional. But together, they are strong. Can they make a relationship…an honest to God, living and working and just being together relationship work? Yeah, they can. Because it’s work, and they know it. How would they do it? The same way they do everything else they do together. Trust, communication…and faith, baby.

Dr. Wyatt, your question from Nicole is as follows:  “Who do you think will be the one to break down the wall between Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan? Who is going to take that first step to bridging the chasm that they created between each other? Agent Booth tried the first time; do you think he’ll try again?”

Nicole, I applaud you for your fantastic questioning. I believe that you’ve pinpointed it right on the head when you brought up the fact that Agent Booth was the first to ‘make a move’ as it were. And therefore, it seems clear that Dr. Brennan must be willing to try. Now, some of you might be thinking…well, then clearly Angela is the clear frontrunner for this type of situation because of her close relationship with Dr. Brennan. But…I cannot agree. In this case, it is very precarious ground.  Does Dr. Brennan have doubts about the validity of psychology? Yes, she does. And so do I. We’ve discussed that. But there is one subject, my darlings, in which she will most certainly look to any and all studies of research to understand, and that subject is the man, Special Agent Seeley Booth. In the past, to whom has Dr. Brennan gone when she’s been concerned for Booth? Dr. Sweets. Does she value Angela as a friend? Yes, but I contend that she is still hesitant to admit her true feelings for Booth to her best friend. Why? Because that makes it too personal. It may seem contradictory, but with the lovely anthropologist, often the contradictions are the most true. If she can present her actions and reactions as rational thought with a professional who also understands the nature of Agent Booth, she will succeed. And my friends, once she takes a first step toward Agent Booth, the chasm will grow considerably smaller.

Gentlemen, thank you for your time this evening. Your closing statements will be in response to our former question, and it is very simple. Why should voters choose either Dr. Sweets or Ms. Montenegro as B&B Shipper? Dr. Wyatt, we’ll begin with you.

Ms. Julian…much has been discussed this evening regarding a fine pair of people we all hold very dear. Booth and Brennan are our friends. We see them each week, and they make us laugh. We cheer for them; when they cry, we cry. When they struggle, we struggle, and when they overcome evil with good, it restores our faith in humanity. But…but…for all of that, for most of us, it stops there. Does that make our love invalid? Certainly it does not. It is a perfect love we have for Brennan and Booth. But what Dr. Sweets has at stake…it’s more than love. It’s more than the happiness of two friends. It’s literally…family. Whereas Ms. Montenegro has a relationship with her father and with her husband, Dr. Sweets…he has Booth and Brennan. Whereas Ms. Montenegro has Dr. Saroyan and other team members of the Jeffersonian team, Dr. Sweets…he has Agent Booth, and he has Dr. Brennan. Though their relationship started out as professional, the reality is that of all of us, he has the most to lose here if Booth and Brennan do not get together. Some might argue that this makes him an unlikely candidate, as it puts him too close to the situation emotionally. But I assert and I close with this: Dr. Sweets has dedicated his life and work to helping Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan. He needs them to succeed in order to succeed. And it is that determination that makes him the best candidate for B&B shipper and worthy of your votes.

Thank you, Dr. Wyatt. And your response to the same question, Dr. Hodgins?

Ms. Julian, let me take you back about seven years. An up and coming artist is featured in her first real gallery opening in Washington DC. She’s nervous, but confident in her work, knowing that even if no one really appreciates it, she’s done it for herself. And she’s proud of that. The opening is successful, in terms of numbers, and there are many people there. But there is one woman who catches the artist’s eye. There is nothing about her appearance that makes her particularly noticeable, and maybe that’s what does make her intriguing. The artist approaches her as she stands at a painting. And the woman turns and says, “This reminds me of a Guatemalan sunrise, though the actual sunrise is more beautiful.” And in that moment, a friendship is born. And it grows over the course of a year. And then one day, the woman is introduced to a man, and when she sees the artist again, the artist can see a new glint in her friend’s eye. This is new, this is something that would rival the sunrise, or anything else in the world the woman has ever seen. And when later, the woman forbids her friend, and me, and others from mentioning the name of this man, the artist smiles knowingly and holds off from mentioning his name…for about 10 days. I’m sure by now you know who each person in my story is. And you know the story, because you’ve been there for it all. And Angela has been there for it all. For it all. From beginning to the end. Whenever that time is. Except she knows, as we all know, friends, that the ‘ending’, well…that’s really just the beginning. The end is the beginning.

Thank you both for your time and efforts. This concludes the Vice-Shipper debate. Next Monday will be our Shipper debate between Ms. Montenegro and Dr. Sweets, right here at Bones Theory Campaign Headquarters.


8 thoughts on “Rock the Vote 2010: Vice-Shipper Debate

  1. Heyy!

    This is awesome! Just made my evening!! You characterized Caroline, Hodgins, and Gordon Gordon perfectly!

    I enjoyed this so much!!

    Thanks 😀

  2. This is SO GREAT. I can’t believe how well you have captured their voices – and the characters themselves. So fun!

    Oh, and, GO SWEETS-WYATT.

  3. This was AWESOME!! I enjoyed it immensely. You captured their voices and personalities so well. Bravo!

  4. Are you sure that they haven’t asked you to become a writer on the show? Because to me, you have captured the characters so perfectly during the whole Rock the Vote series of posts! Can’t wait for Monday’s debate!

  5. Mmmmm…I love raspberry cheesecake!

  6. Amazing! I got a little tearful at the end.

    Still undecided at this point, though. I loved Wyatt’s eloquence, but Hodgins speaks from the heart. Looking forward to Monday’s debate.


  7. Seels – your ability to channel these characters is aamazing – awesome!

  8. Wow this characterization is amazing!
    Gosh it’s gonna be a hard decision between these too!
    I liked a whole lot of arguments of Dr. Wyatt’s hand, like the cheesecake. Very true and yummy!
    But I gotta say that Hodgins’ final say was amazing and really made me smile!
    Can’t wait for the vote!

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