That Booth and Brennan love one another is beautiful to me. Beautiful. It brings me to tears sometimes; it really does. Because somewhere between “You see two people and you think…they belong together” and “Of course, it’s absolutely ludicrous the idea of you two together. But the heart chooses what it chooses, we don’t really have a say in the matter,” are these two people who don’t make sense together…except that they do. And it’s hard to explain except to say that it’s beautiful. For both of them, the beauty…the reality, the heart…the truth, everything of the other softens the heart. And the beauty that is shared between them softens mine.
I love this picture from Dwarf in the Dirt, one of my all time favorite episodes. There is something almost opposite about the way B&B look here. He’s very FBI-Booth, and she’s in her J-team gear, and yet there is this natural compatibility that is as easy as the slight shrug along Booth’s wide shoulder line and in the sweet curve of Brennan’s jawline. Sirens are flashing all around; they are on their way to look at death and decay, and they know that, but still…they just fit.
I had a hard time writing this post because it feels the most personal. I’m not ashamed of the tears I cried when I talked on Monday about how furious I feel at injustice. I’m not ashamed of liking season six. I’m not ashamed of wanting Booth and Brennan to hit the sack (caveat: they must both be single).
Love is personal. Love is the thing that keeps us up nights, wondering if it really does exist. And if it doesn’t for Booth and Brennan…can it for us? The thing about being lonely is that you begin to believe that you don’t deserve to be with anyone or that anyone who got to know the real you would not be interested. And Booth and Brennan are both like that.
It’s like this gossamer thin spider web, woven together with delicate precision. But when you brush it away, behind it is an old leather chest, with strong metal buckles, maybe a couple of scratch marks and rough edges. But it’s even more gorgeous than the perfect web. What you thought was perfection was easily brushed away, revealing a pure and sturdy beauty. And inside the trunk is history and more beauty and so much more.
There’s a Jon Foreman song called I Am Still Running, and one line in it keeps running through my mind this season. “Build me a home, inside your scars,”
Basically, let me a part of you, every part of you. Let me see the real you and love you. What is beautiful about Booth and Brennan is that they do feel this way for the other one. Booth loves the real Brennan
And she loves the real him.
They get it. They see the outward attractiveness in the other and also deeper to the heart and soul of the other, and they love. But when it comes to themselves, they just aren’t quite there. It’s so ludicrous! It does not make sense! (Sidenote: It’s what makes Sweets almost obsessed about them. Beyond his own need for family, he recognizes that on paper, B&B just are not compatible, but that if you spend about 15 minutes with them, it just hits you right in the face…okay, made for each other.
No one can love Booth like Brennan can; no one can love Brennan like Booth can. It’s not possible. It’s also not fate though. It’s not just fate, I should say. It’s also a single life shared. I don’t just mean that in the 30,40,50 years sense, I’m talking about everything they’ve had up to this point. Brennan telling Booth that she knows how much he hates killing people
Brennan admitting she has nightmares and Booth assuring her that it will be fine and pulling her into his arms
I’m not talking about being ‘in’ love. Do I think they are in love? Sure, at certain points. But I’ll agree with Brennan (and I think Booth would too), that the ‘feeling’ of being in love isn’t enough. So there’s got to be something deeper than that. Love.
And Booth and Brennan have that for one another. They know the pain of the other and part of taking that pain away is helping realize that it can never fully be gone. Scars are a reminder that there was once pain.
Build me a home inside your scars.
I just feel so humbled by the beauty that is their story; these two wounded people who don’t seem like a good fit…yet they just are. They are in a way that each person wants to fit with someone else. Someone who sees the truth of us and is dazzled by it.
Someone who sees the pain of us and loves all the more because it’s a reflection in the shared pain of this world. Someone who, no matter what else is going on, smiles when we walk in the door.
It’s so beautiful it hurts sometimes, don’t you think? But it’s still beautiful. Not in the ‘glossy cover of a magazine way’ that most of us could never measure up to, but in the way you see two 80 year olds hold hands at the movies. Or in the way someone sits by the hospital bedside of someone puking their guts out after chemotherapy. It’s love. All of it.
And I’m just so thankful for that. On TV, there is enough ‘perfection’; I want the real deal. I want the truth of B&B, no matter what. It’s not always comfortable, I know that.
When you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly.
Does anyone else feel like we’re in the “Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way” part of that journey? Their hearts were/are broken, but I still believe that no one can love Brennan like Booth and no one can love Booth like Brennan can. At this point, they are sacrificing themselves out of love for the other. I feel very strongly about this. Booth is moving on for several reasons, but one major one is (and I know someone else said it first…I just can’t remember who!) because he knows it will upset Brennan for her to think that she has/had so much control over his happiness. He doesn’t want to put that burden on her, the idea that she would feel any pain for his pain. Of course, that is impossible. He can’t take that on, but I love him for trying. And I love that he won’t succeed.
And Brennan, though I’m not sure she would call it love, completely 100% does understand that she is sacrificing for Booth. She was very satisfied and loved her life with him in it. Their status quo was safe for her in many ways. She’ll miss the way he knocks on her door with food at what seems like just the right moment. She understands the knowledge that it’s completely realistic that one day he’ll maybe have a baby with someone who is not her. She’s sacrificing the idea that after a case, they might share a drink, but there will never be the possibility of a moment where she can get past herself and just lean over and kiss him and tell him how she feels. There will never be a time when as he’s pulling back from hugging her that he’ll kiss her and then carry her to her bed. She says she imagined being with him but acknowledges that they were just fantasies. Still, she wants it, and she’s sacrificing all of that for him. Not because she’s some Booth+love martyr, but because she thinks it’s sort of her lot in life…that it’s impossible for her to have that kind of love. Of course, we know it’s not impossible; what we see…it’s not the end. And we see that her actions are a reflection of her love for him. I love her for doing it, and I love that one day she won’t have to, and she’ll be open to accept that.
My feeling on this is “don’t give up”. My advice to you is, “Don’t give up.” It’s worth it. As Booth said in Girl in the Mask, “It is worth it. And everything around it is worth it… Every moment. Everything is worth it.” He’s talking about the beauty in it, the part that softens the heart, like DBCrazy said. It’s worth it.
Does it seem like he’s not taking his own advice?
Can I counsel hope on this front? I think we’ll learn the truth soon enough; I really do. So yes, hope. Hope and patience. And some thankfulness, of course. And also, some…
Peace, Love & Bones,
PS…Happy Thanksgiving! After you comment below, check out and weigh in with comments on TeamGMMR’s list of TV Things we’re thankful for. I had 11 things, and I only mentioned BONES twice! What’s that? The sound of me getting less obsessed? Please, do not even consider it.