Bones Theory

Thankful Week: Booth & Brennan-Their Love is Beautiful


“I have discovered that one of the purposes of Beauty is to soften the heart.”



That Booth and Brennan love one another is beautiful to me. Beautiful. It brings me to tears sometimes; it really does. Because somewhere between “You see two people and you think…they belong together” and “Of course, it’s absolutely ludicrous the idea of you two together. But the heart chooses what it chooses, we don’t really have a say in the matter,” are these two people who don’t make sense together…except that they do. And it’s hard to explain except to say that it’s beautiful. For both of them, the beauty…the reality, the heart…the truth, everything of the other softens the heart. And the beauty that is shared between them softens mine.


I love this picture from Dwarf in the Dirt, one of my all time favorite episodes. There is something almost opposite about the way B&B look here. He’s very FBI-Booth, and she’s in her J-team gear, and yet there is this natural compatibility that is as easy as the slight shrug along Booth’s wide shoulder line and in the sweet curve of Brennan’s jawline. Sirens are flashing all around; they are on their way to look at death and decay, and they know that, but still…they just fit.

I had a hard time writing this post because it feels the most personal. I’m not ashamed of the tears I cried when I talked on Monday about how furious I feel at injustice. I’m not ashamed of liking season six. I’m not ashamed of wanting Booth and Brennan to hit the sack (caveat: they must both be single).

But love?

Love is personal. Love is the thing that keeps us up nights, wondering if it really does exist. And if it doesn’t for Booth and Brennan…can it for us? The thing about being lonely is that you begin to believe that you don’t deserve to be with anyone or that anyone who got to know the real you would not be interested. And Booth and Brennan are both like that.

It’s like this gossamer thin spider web, woven together with delicate precision. But when you brush it away, behind it is an old leather chest, with strong metal buckles, maybe a couple of scratch marks and rough edges. But it’s even more gorgeous than the perfect web. What you thought was perfection was easily brushed away, revealing a pure and sturdy beauty. And inside the trunk is history and more beauty and so much more.

There’s a Jon Foreman song called I Am Still Running, and one line in it keeps running through my mind this season. “Build me a home, inside your scars,”

Basically, let me a part of you, every part of you. Let me see the real you and love you. What is beautiful about Booth and Brennan is that they do feel this way for the other one. Booth loves the real Brennan

And she loves the real him.

They get it. They see the outward attractiveness in the other and also deeper to the heart and soul of the other, and they love. But when it comes to themselves, they just aren’t quite there. It’s so ludicrous! It does not make sense! (Sidenote: It’s what makes Sweets almost obsessed about them. Beyond his own need for family, he recognizes that on paper, B&B just are not compatible, but that if you spend about 15 minutes with them, it just hits you right in the face…okay, made for each other.

…sidenote over)

No one can love Booth like Brennan can; no one can love Brennan like Booth can. It’s not possible. It’s also not fate though. It’s not just fate, I should say. It’s also a single life shared. I don’t just mean that in the 30,40,50 years sense, I’m talking about everything they’ve had up to this point. Brennan telling Booth that she knows how much he hates killing people

Brennan admitting she has nightmares and Booth assuring her that it will be fine and pulling her into his arms

I’m not talking about being ‘in’ love. Do I think they are in love? Sure, at certain points. But I’ll agree with Brennan (and I think Booth would too), that the ‘feeling’ of being in love isn’t enough. So there’s got to be something deeper than that. Love.

And Booth and Brennan have that for one another. They know the pain of the other and part of taking that pain away is helping realize that it can never fully be gone. Scars are a reminder that there was once pain.

Build me a home inside your scars.

I just feel so humbled by the beauty that is their story;  these two wounded people who don’t seem like a good fit…yet they just are. They are in a way that each person wants to fit with someone else. Someone who sees the truth of us and is dazzled by it. 

Someone who sees the pain of us and loves all the more because it’s a reflection in the shared pain of this world. Someone who, no matter what else is going on, smiles when we walk in the door.

It’s so beautiful it hurts sometimes, don’t you think? But it’s still beautiful. Not in the ‘glossy cover of a magazine way’ that most of us could never measure up to, but in the way you see two 80 year olds hold hands at the movies. Or in the way someone sits by the hospital bedside of someone puking their guts out after chemotherapy. It’s love. All of it.

And I’m just so thankful for that. On TV, there is enough ‘perfection’; I want the real deal. I want the truth of B&B, no matter what. It’s not always comfortable, I know that.

When you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly.

Does anyone else feel like we’re in the “Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way” part of that journey? Their hearts were/are broken, but I still believe that no one can love Brennan like Booth and no one can love Booth like Brennan can. At this point, they are sacrificing themselves out of love for the other. I feel very strongly about this. Booth is moving on for several reasons, but one major one is (and I know someone else said it first…I just can’t remember who!) because he knows it will upset Brennan for her to think that she has/had so much control over his happiness. He doesn’t want to put that burden on her, the idea that she would feel any pain for his pain. Of course, that is impossible. He can’t take that on, but I love him for trying. And I love that he won’t succeed.

And Brennan, though I’m not sure she would call it love, completely 100% does understand that she is sacrificing for Booth. She was very satisfied and loved her life with him in it. Their status quo was safe for her in many ways. She’ll miss the way he knocks on her door with food at what seems like just the right moment. She understands the knowledge that it’s completely realistic that one day he’ll maybe have a baby with someone who is not her. She’s sacrificing the idea that after a case, they might share a drink, but there will never be the possibility of a moment where she can get past herself and just lean over and kiss him and tell him how she feels. There will never be a time when as he’s pulling back from hugging her that he’ll kiss her and then carry her to her bed. She says she imagined being with him but acknowledges that they were just fantasies. Still, she wants it, and she’s sacrificing all of that for him. Not because she’s some Booth+love martyr, but because she thinks it’s sort of her lot in life…that it’s impossible for her to have that kind of love. Of course, we know it’s not impossible; what we see…it’s not the end. And we see that her actions are a reflection of her love for him. I love her for doing it, and I love that one day she won’t have to, and she’ll be open to accept that.

My feeling on this is “don’t give up”. My advice to you is, “Don’t give up.” It’s worth it. As Booth said in Girl in the Mask, “It is worth it. And everything around it is worth it… Every moment. Everything is worth it.”  He’s talking about the beauty in it, the part that softens the heart, like DBCrazy said. It’s worth it.

Does it seem like he’s not taking his own advice?

Can I counsel hope on this front? I think we’ll learn the truth soon enough; I really do. So yes, hope. Hope and patience. And some thankfulness, of course. And also, some…

Peace, Love & Bones,


PS…Happy Thanksgiving! After you comment below, check out and weigh in with comments on TeamGMMR’s list of TV Things we’re thankful for. I had 11 things, and I only mentioned BONES twice! What’s that? The sound of me getting less obsessed? Please, do not even consider it.


33 thoughts on “Thankful Week: Booth & Brennan-Their Love is Beautiful

  1. I’m going to find time this weekend to catch up on the rest of your “Thankful” post from the week, but I absolutely adored this one. *Sigh* So many wonderful trips down memory lane and I have been a firm believer in the two of them doing what they need to do and going through the struggles they need to, in order to get to the epic endgame of them being together.

    My hope and patience has never been stronger.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Sarah! xoxoxo

  2. I. Love. This. Post.

    Especially the part about Brennan knowing what she sacrificed. Not once did she say, “I don’t want to,” just, “I can’t.” I think Booth is like the good china for her, the one that is so perfect that you never dare to use it because you’re afraid you’d be clumsy and break it.

    I cannot wait for the day when she realizes that the china is by no means as perfect as she thought it was. That it has flaws, scratches. That she doesn’t have to be afraid to use it. That she won’t break it.

    Thank you, Sarah 🙂

  3. Dear God, that was beautiful. If I wasn’t already head-over-heels in love with B&B, I would be now.

    Thanks for the lovely post on a day where I am completely justified in saying that I am grateful for Bones fans who love the show as much as I do. Fans that…know. You know?

    Happy Thanksgiving, my friend!

  4. Beautifully written, with so many wonderful examples of how they love and care for each other. Although I’ve only made it to 20 years with my husband, I can say that having someone see you at your worst (many times!) and still look at you adoringly is surely proof of enduring love. It’s also found in those little actions that don’t seem like much on the surface but speak volumes to the heart. These are my favorite B&B moments.

    Happy Thanksgiving, all! I am so thankful to be able to read Bones Theory and savor so many delicious Bones moments presented so thoroughly and thoughtfully. The comments are like dessert!

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  6. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! This is absolute perfection Sarah. Thank you.

    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  7. Love. Love. Love.

    Over and over again I come back to the line, “He will give himself completely to you.” It gives me beautiful chills every time. In some ways, they both have already done this for each other. It gives me a beautiful warmth to know that they will fulfill this idea entirely down the road. I can’t wait to see it.

  8. I don’t even know what to say. Just….Thank you. That was perfect. 🙂

    At the risk of sounding really cheesy, I, in all honesty, am very grateful for this blog for so many reasons. So again, thanks not only for this fabulous post, but for all of them!

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  9. The was beautifully written Sarah. Sad for me to say that I want to believe in love but in a way like Brennan I think that its not for me. I am looking forward to how the rest of the season will work out for Booth & Brennan.

    Happy Thanksgiving to alll! Can’t wait for next week!

  10. Sweet.
    I used to be scared sometimes that Booth seretly did want Brennan to change, because sometimes he acts so annoyed with her when she’s being clueless or overly specific about things. But I noticed that he always validates her in the end. For example: in the last episode she explains and overuses the yowza thing and he acts really annoyed and cranky, but later he sort of jokingly says it again for her benefit anyway. Same thing in the season premier with the quick as a fly thing. First he complains that flies arn’t cool, but at the end he calls himself a fly anyway.
    My point is that they have both developed such incredible unique and subtle ways of showing their love for eachother. Many casual viewers will probably not even notice.

  11. What you said here was just perfect! I sometimes wonder if HH realizes that for many of us yes the UST is great, but it really is that love that Booth and Brennan have for each other, that really is just a part of each of them that keeps us coming back for more. I think it’s what has so many fans upset right now…they are doubting what they’ve known that there is a deep love between these two. They are truely the one true partner for each other regardless of how little sense they might make together.

  12. Thank you for this. I love every word of it. For me, the show has always been about their relationship. Not their romance, necessarily, but their relationship. “Friendship” is a completely inadequate term for their bond, which is so much deeper than being in love. That’s what I think part of the point of this
    season is – that they’re seeing the truth of that, and hopefully, so are we.

    So…thanks for this. I’m thankful for you and this blog!

  13. Just a couple of things: 1) I’m not ashamed to say that, once again, I teared up a little bit while reading this, 2) Hope, right; I have to keep saying it like a mantra, I feel, in order to survive this crazy season, “hope and patience, hope and patience…” and 3) God, I love this place! You always remind me why this is a great show, why I fell for it and why I shouldn’t give up on it quite yet, even though I mostly feel like I’m ready to. So, among other great things in life, I’m thankful for optimism and good writing. 🙂

  14. Oh Sarah, you make my heart so happy…that was beautifully written. Every word made my heart sing. 🙂

    I don’t think I can say too much else that wasn’t already said by others. Thank you so much for infusing so much positivity into your posts, and reminding us of why we love this show so much.

  15. My heart is skipping a beat….How lovely. Thanks for sharing and advising “Hope” Patience and Hope!!!

  16. Yet another beautiful post Seels!! The first half made me smile and the second half broke my heart (although it was already broken since the 100th episode). BONES gives me hope. Yes! It’s worth it! To every girl and guy out there who’s all alone. IT’S WORTH IT!! We all deserve someone who sees the real us and is dazzled by it! YES a million times!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Beautiful!!!

  17. Lovely post 😀

    Now i still don’t believe Booth is in love with Brennan and vise versa. But that doesn’t mean i can’t appreciate the awesomeness of this post…and really, it wasn’t really about them being in love but loving one another. And that i am SO on board with.

    Before anything romantic the friendship they have (you’re right Ryn, that word doesn’t do them justice!)…the relationship they have is spectacular. There are no words to describe it.

    It’s on a whole other level and the reason i love this show!

  18. Wow. I am thankful for this post. I love Bones. I really, really do … but so much since I’ve joined this fandom I just hear such negative things and it makes me sad. I’m not thrilled with this storyline, but I recognize it’s going somewhere, which is fine until I come online and read so many horrible, negative things, and get depressed for no reason! So, thank you, thank you, thank you for your words on the subject, they really put things into such prespective for me. I’ll keep checking back for your blogs to keep my spirits up through this arc. Again, thank you, you’re an amazing writer and I really love the way you manage to put things into prespective when it comes to Booth & Brennan. 🙂

    • I totally agree! It’s as if people think that their opinion about the show is the truth and everybody should feel the same way they do. I think it’s about whether appreciate the whole journey aspect or not. It’s nice to know this will always be a “safe” place for Bones love, haha.

  19. what a beautiful post, Seels. Thanks for using the words of the show to remind us that everything works itself out eventually.

  20. First off, I am grateful for your blog and you, Sarah. Your writing is beautiful. Your love for the show is beautiful. Bones as a show is beautiful. The love that these characters have for each other is stunning. As you mentioned and quoted, from GG and HH, they should not fit but they do. These characters are taking paths that have lots of curves and straight roads, they may cross and they make go in opposite directions, but they continue to move.

    And that I find beautiful.

  21. Thank you so much. This post is wonderful. And it gives me a lot of hope.

  22. I’m really happy to have discovered this site!! If you haven’t seen the older episodes I have a lot of spoilers here. Sorry to go on a tangent here but the love between Bones & Booth reminded me of an episode where Sweets says that he thinks its funny how Booth tries to get Bones to eat pie as if it were some sort of seduction method…(or something like that).

    Up until this point Booth and Brennan cannot express their love for each other (if they have even admitted it to themselves). Booth DOES use food as a way of showing Bones that he really cares about her. He’s always telling her that she’s gotta eat- bringing over pizza, chinese food, thai food, etc.

    Brennan shows her love by seeking to protect Booth from injury. Whenever Booth gets hurt, Brennan is the one rushing out to the field, locker room etc, to make sure that he is ok. She wants to be the one to correct his back problem. She’s the one who tells Booth to trust her when she realizes there is something wrong when he has hallucinations and takes him to the hospital. We later find out through Sweets that Bones is the one who realizes that Booth is using the wrong leg, holding things with his opposite hand, etc.

    I love that their friendship is the cornerstone of their relationship. It’s so important to realize that they understand each other on a much deeper level, which beats any relationship either of them every had.

  23. I have no words. This is perfect.

  24. Love, Love, Love! That was beautiful!

    Thank you as always!

    And I am thankful for this blog and you! 🙂

  25. Well, that’s the last time I don’t read posts in order! Your inclusion of the quote from the end of tEitB brought tears to my eyes, I gotta tell you. You’re right. You’re right on all counts. Beautifully spoken, too; much better than I ever could. And I’ve already commented elsewhere here tonight, so I will keep this one down in length and just say, okay. Hope and patience. I can do that. Not with any real relish, because I am NOT a patient person, but I can. Have been. Pretty much have to continue to be. I think that finding this place helps a lot, too; you guys are awesome. Anyways, thank you once more for an awesome blog. You rock.

  26. I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this. My friends and I always debate about whether or not season 6 is actually necessary for Booth and Brennan to inevitably come together in the way that they should, and this post has me even more stubbornly convinced that yes, it is necessary. I hate seeing their pain, but I also think it’s beautiful…just like their love. They understand each other in ways that no one else does, or ever will. It’s all of the little things they do for one another (casual touching each other, words of encouragement, etc.), along with their big sacrifices mentioned in this post, that really show just how strong and deep their feelings are. So, in the end, I would have to conclude that yes, their love is beautiful, and yes, their pain is beautiful, but more than that, THEY are beautiful and their whole relationship is beautiful.

  27. Man, this post made me cry. I discovered Bones this Spring and watched all of the episodes through the end of Season 5 in a matter of a couple of months; during a difficult time in my life, Bones was sort of my lifeline. Somewhere during season 1, I found your 100 episodes blog, and so your commentary on this show and the B&B relationship are inextricably tied in my head to this show that I love. Your thoughts on season 6 have really helped me to keep hope alive when I feel like my favorite fictional relationship has totally jumped the shark.

  28. I agree about the beauty of their love for each other, but at this point, I’ve lost all hope.

  29. I know I said in the last post about how hot B/B are for each other, that it was one of my favorite things about the show…but I have to say this tops them all! There is no doubt in my mind that they love each other and have for a long time…and it IS Beautiful. Of course, I wish they would finally be ‘in love’ with each other at the same time…but I am hopeful and patient that this IS coming!

  30. What a beautiful post! I love it, beautiful is exactly what their love is and just what they are.
    I think that’s the most important thing Bones fans can have right now, hope & patience. We need to hang in there knowing that everything happens eventually!

    I hope that those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving had a good day. 🙂

  31. Absolutely beautiful!

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