Bones Theory

Thankful Week: Common Ground

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Whoa. They’ll never work. They’re like complete opposites.

 

 I agree. For all her faults she’s a woman of science. Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion. You know, there’s no common ground.

 

Right.

 

 You need common ground. What else is there?

Absolutely.

 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

This post isn’t exactly about B&B; it’s more about us. I didn’t want to let Thankful Week slip by without taking the time to just say how thankful I am to each person who stops by here every day. This week has been amazing to me. I’ll also tell you that I had a somewhat bad BONES experience over the weekend, and I was all set on Monday to just lay it all out, this incredibly thorough post that would have ended up being VERY negative in the end. Pal Jen encouraged me not to do that, and she was right. So I sort of begrudgingly decided to soldier on with Thankful Week, even though I wasn’t particularly feeling it. Not that I was faking any of my posts or anything like that…it’s more that I had to remind myself a bit. What happened over the course of the week absolutely blew me away as person after person continued to encourage me that thankfulness was really important. I’m very, very grateful for each person who shared in this week, and to each person who has visited and/or commented since BT opened up in July.

When I said the other day that the kind words people say are motivating to me, I meant it. But I don’t necessarily mean praise toward me as a person. It’s certainly nice, but what is more gratifying to me is the idea that I’m not alone in this world when it comes to BONES. I am not bragging, but I know I can write complete sentences and creative haikus and things like that. I’m still paying student loans to prove it, haha. When I’m on my 45 minute commute home from an 11 hour workday, what motivates me to open up my laptop when I get home is not the ability to write clear concise paragraphs. It’s more that I want to connect with you all on my thoughts. I want to know that I’m not the only one who can smile an entire day after watching the end scene of Fire in the Ice. Or the only one who hurts just a little bit over the fact that even though we all (even Booth) know the phone was from Brennan…it’s still not. It’s more about the need to connect with like-minded and like-hearted people.

Brain and Heart.

On November 27th, 2007, I watched my first BONES episode, The Santa in the Slush.  I never would have guessed that three years later, we’d be having this kind of blogversation. But I’m not complaining. I love the BonesTheory community. It’s awesome when something works out just the way you want it to. When it exceeds your wildest dreams, that’s even better.  

It’s hard for me to imagine that other shows have communities like BONES does. Do they? I would have no idea. I’ve never really loved a show like this before. Whether it imprinted on me in 2007 or I imprinted on it, I’m not sure. Either way, we’re kind of stuck with each other, BONES and me. Here are three things that the BONES community has given me.

Community:

I’ve already talked about how the Old BoneYard was my first ‘home’, but it’s just impossible to explain how true that is. I come from a really good family, and I have lots of friends, but no one I would consider to be best friends, you know? When people describe being lonely in a crowd of people, I can identify with that. Some of that is my own fault; I can be shy (which is sometimes just pride), I can say the wrong thing sometimes, and I can try to be something I’m not, for whatever reason. But the worst thing I feel is when it seems like no one really understands. For me, that spring and summer of 2008, it was all about learning that there were a lot of people I had common ground with. And not just with BONES either, but a penchant for Dairy Queen Blizzards with Oreos on the side and knowing that Weezer’s  best work is the Blue Album and Arrested Development quotes and so much more. The number of people I’ve connected with has reached into the hundreds, probably even thousands. But my first connections were with Lauren, Steph and Mary on the BY. Somehow, it just happened. I’ve gotten to know a lot of you over the years since then, some more than others, but those three were my first. The friendships I had (and still have) with them are some of the best of my life. I’m really thankful for them, and for each person I’ve met. Some of you all have emailed me some incredibly personal things about yourselves, or commented here on BT, and I want you to know that I take that very seriously. It’s humbling, and I’m very thankful for your honesty. Pal Tory sometimes jokes that Bones Theory is like Bones Therapy, haha, and that makes me laugh, but I do also take that seriously, because it’s the same way for me, being able to express my thoughts and feelings is healthy. I don’t want to take the community for granted. It’s very valuable. It’s invaluable, actually.

Identity:

Having said that, it’s ironic that I sort of became more of myself when I used a fake name. It also sort of used to give me the creeps about myself, haha, that I was one of those ‘online people’. I always felt so furtive about it. But one day, pal Sara from Wales called me “Seels”, which was a nickname for the username ‘seeleybaby’ I’d created, and it sort of just stuck. I’d never really had a nickname before (at least not a nice one), and I’d never really liked the name Sarah at all. It just sort of felt like ‘not me’. I wasn’t particularly pretty or sweet. I didn’t love horses or dream of being in Little House on the Prairie or anything like that which I sort of associated with someone named Sarah. Sarah from the Bible or Sarah, Plain and Tall were kind of my options, you know?  I always wanted to have some name associated with someone gorgeous, but especially a name that could be made into both a cute nickname and an awesomely professional name. Like Kate or Anne or Elizabeth. Or some glamorous name like Dorianne Wallingford from The Babysitters Club books. Seriously. But I was totally a Kristy.

Okay, okay, haha, I’m getting distracted. But the point is “Seels”, it sort of just fit. It was fun and cute and when people called me that (and still call me that), it’s very affectionate. I love that. Very much. Seels was cool and knew what she’s talking about and was popular, etc. Something “Sarah” is not always; does that make sense? Some of you may identify with that in some ways. I’m thankful to BONES and to the community for that kind of feeling.

Validity:

Having said that, I’m finding that more and more I’m pleased to sort of blend my real life with my writing. To not really be ashamed of being both Sarah and Seels at the same time, if that makes sense. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I’d never watched that episode on 11/27/2010. At the time, I was really struggling…really strugging with my career as a teacher. I couldn’t sleep; I woke up every day dreading it. On Sunday nights, I’d get anxious, just thinking about the fact that I had to go back the next morning. I was breaking out into hives (this is a somewhat normal occurrence, as I have particularly sensitive skin, but it was happening all of the time), and I was just miserable. I really thought I had to kind of suck it up and deal. And then, running alongside of that (this is getting into January or February of 2009), I was watching and re-watching BONES episodes, seasons one and two. And I began to feel particularly itchy in a way that had nothing to do with the fact that I’m allergic to random things like strawberry jello, band-aids and detergent for sensitive skin. Itchy in this way like, ‘there’s something more than my life right now’. That’s a really scary place to be. Over the next couple of months, after I joined up on the BY, I started writing, and I liked it. It was very natural and it just…happened. If I ever thought I would run out of ideas, I never, ever did. And then, by April of 2008, I’d decided not to teach English, and I resigned as of the end of that school year. Instead of working at this (allegedly) creative job, I was going to just get a random job and have a creative life. And…it worked. Part of me wants to just say, “the rest is history”, but the truth of it is that I may have never done that, if it weren’t for BONES. Those several months between April and September of 2008 were a major stress for me, but also I felt the most ‘myself’ that I’d ever felt. I’m sitting here and it seems SO BIZARRE to say that a TV show and a website or two can do that for a person, but it’s the truth, and I don’t know how else to explain it. I hope some of you feel the same. There’s just a validity to my life experience that comes when BONES is in the picture. I’m thankful for that.

This post ended up being a LOT more about me than I intended it to be. If Bones Theory provides those kinds of things for you, don’t throw thanks and praise my way. I love hearing about your lives and what BONES means to you, but you don’t owe that to me. I’m just one person in a sea of love. Pay it forward. If you want to start your own blog, let me know, and I’ll help you. If you’ve never commented here at BT, I welcome you to consider joining the discussion. Not because I care about numbers or being popular, because I don’t. It’s because your experience and the way you put that into words is valuable. It always bums me out a bit whenever someone begins a comment with something like, “Well, I don’t know if this counts, but…” and then proceeds to mention a moment he or she loves about BONES. Heck yes, it counts! Say it loud and proud baby! And I don’t like when people comment and then pause and blush and maybe say something like, “Oh, I’ve totally rambled,” or “I’ve said WAY too much”.

Ramble away! Say what you want, as much as you want! I do! We’re all in this together. I’m not a celebrity or someone more valuable to the BONES community that anyone else. I don’t write about BONES for a living; I write for a loving. You share in that love, and that’s what should be celebrated.

After all, it’s common ground.

What else is there?

Peace, Love & Bones,

~S

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22 thoughts on “Thankful Week: Common Ground

  1. “I don’t write about BONES for a living; I write for a loving.”

    Perfect. Sort of sums up how we all feel about Bones. And about the friends we’ve made not only on message boards and Twitter, but on these wonderful, insightful, crazy-obsessed-like-we-are blogs. Places that just make us all feel like we’re not really as insane as our family members say we are. Or we might, secretly, believe that we are.

    It’s nice to have a safe place to lay down our insanity, and I am very thankful for that. And for you. We really, really do ‘less-than-three-you’. 🙂

  2. thanks for sharing….

  3. Hi Seels/Sarah

    I’m kinda new here. Actually, I’m relatively new to Bones major fandom (though I watched episodes here and there since either the first or second season) and I’ve been doing mostly lurking when it comes to this website. I think I’ve posted twice before. But I enjoy it and I check it nearly every day for new posts and replies.

    I just wanted to say that I find this post particularly moving. I understand completely what you are talking about as I have been through very very similar experiences, albeit for a different show. So in a sense, yes, there are other communities out there like this, but I think they are rare and special. Not every show earns the honor. Nonetheless, I know what it’s like to be completely surprised and have a show that helps you find friends and improve your life. On the surface, it seems silly that a television show can mean so much, but when you really take the time to think about it with an open mind, and with the right kind of show, it actually makes sense.

    I’m not someone who has lifelong friends. I used to say, “I’m not a Sex and The City girlfriend”. People come and go in my life, and I get along with nearly everyone, but rarely do people make their way deep in my hearts to build a bond that lasts longer than the context in which the acquaintance originally developed. I always figured that was just my lot in life and I was (and still am) fine with that for the most part. But then I met these people on an on-line message board and found myself having things in common that I’ve never been able to find under more forced circumstances (work, school, etc.). I’ve been friends with them now for almost four years. I have a nickname, too, and I love it everytime they call me that! I’ve actually met with some of them in person and even trekked across the country to go to a convention for our show with one of them. We’ve been there for each other for some of the worst (deaths) and best (weddings (one couple actually met on that board and are now married)) times of our lives. We can count on each other for support, enthusiasm and honesty.

    Not only did I find friends, I found a part of me that was missing and was unknowingly wrecking havoc on my psyche. Prior to the message board, I wasn’t challenged and I missed the analytical side of myself that must have disappeared shortly after college. The message board, and the show itself, helped me regain that long lost sense of self. I had reasons to re-explore my creative side and was inspired to do so. First it started with doing things for the tv show fandom, but it that was merely a re-introductory into my real love, which is art. I’ve since moved onto subject matter that is no longer related to the tv show. In short, my life is back on track (if one could really call it that) and I found my way back to happiness. I no longer feel like a drone, and I have taken back control and I am now living life.

    I don’t really know what my point of this uber long post is. I think I just wanted to share.

    I will say this though, my other ‘show’ is not doing so well these days. It’s almost done and the message boards just doesn’t get the same number of visitors these days. My on-line friends and I talk a lot, but we don’t talk about the show that much anymore. I think this is why I’ve moved on to Bones. I may have these great friends, but I think I wanted a new obsession or a new show to look forward too once a week. I wanted new discussions. I wanted something to think about and analyze. I wanted to read other people’s thoughts on what seems like minute details. I wanted to look for the big picture or story in those minute details. Bones is just the type of show that pays that much attention to those sort of things. It really is no wonder why it lends itself to such a wonderful website such as this.

    So, if I’m thankful for something Bones related, I am thankful that it has a community that is wonderful as the one I had first found. Thanks for keeping my spirits and brain alive, Bones Community!

    Sincerely,
    Elizabeth

    PS. I’ve always loved the name Sarah. I find that it’s beautiful in a classically simple, sort of way. I just like the way it sounds.

    Also, I find not just your honesty, but your self-honesty, refreshing. Keep up the good work.

  4. Hi Seels,

    This post really touched home for me. Bones hasn’t helped me make any life decisions or anything huge like that, but its always been there. Anyway, I’m fairly new to this whole thing. My first episode was “The Bond in the Boot”, and i live in a Australia so it was probably about late october last year. As soon as I saw I knew that I should’ve been watching this for a long time, that this was the somthing that had sort of been missing for a while. But alas, the next episode I saw was a repeat from the third season, just before they showed “The Goop on the Girl” a few months later, after this tho, i was hooked. Hart Hanson wrote once that apparently it takes 3 episodes for someone to be hooked on bones, and thats exactly what happened.

    I knew who Zooey Deschanel was and laughed, I didn’t know BB history yet but was intrigued. By the night of “the bones on the blue line” I had somehow seen most of the 1st and 2nd seasons, and when the promo for number 100 came on, with a kiss in the rain, i shrieked (a VERY rare occurence when it comes to me) and then screamed at my mum about the importance of this, because she had no idea. I knew there was no turning back, and that doesn’t matter because i’ve never looked back.

    I, too, have always felt a bit of an outsider. It hasn’t been til the last few years that i’ve had a true friend (who also loves bones haha). But i’m one of those people who you have to know for a while to truly know. I’m shy, but I love to talk and I’m pretty much loud around everyone but people i don’t know. And when I can’t talk, I write, and write (which is evident in my long posts haha) I’m always unsure whether people actually like me or their just putting on that to not be hated by everyone else, it’s a problem i’ve had ever since being bullied earlier on in school. But here, I can be whoever I want to be.

    One time I got the role of “Ado Annie” in our school musical of ‘Oklahoma’, and altho she is so different to me (not to mention has a high voice and screams in a way that just doesn’t happen when it comes to me) I had so much fun playing her. Everyone was shocked because they had no idea that I could act in such a way, and play such a person (you never know whether to happy or not when your mother is soo shocked at your acting abilities). I got to be ditzy because it was my character, I had to be, and i think that’s what i love to do, I love being someone else, putting on a mask, because each mask is a different character, yet they all have common ground (see what i did there..). Here i’m bones fangirl, and i love it. I can talk(write) all I want and if you dont want to read it, you don’t have to. Here we are not pulled down by peer pressure, because we are all free. I love it. And thankyou so much Seels for setting up BT. It renews my interest in the show sometimes when I feel it’s slightly waning.
    Thankyou,
    62
    PS. My mum’s name is Sarah, and I always liked it aswell. The nickname suits you tho, i know i have never met you, but I think it does.

  5. Hey… I just wanted to say that this was a wonderful post. I come here everyday and read what you wrote, and the comments of everyone. I usually don’t comment, not just here, but everywhere. I normally just listed, and then talk way too much with the few people I do talk to.

    But I wanted to let you know that there are people who read, and love, and think about your posts, that never comment but that are still here. Also, there is the thing of language. I understand English and have read dozens of books in English but I never fell comfortable writing in English.

    I do think that there is something really special about the Bones fan community and I’m proud to be a part of that.

    Thanks for improving the experience, Seels. =)

  6. This post…is exactly what I needed. You succeeded in making me cry. =[

    I watched most of the first season of Bones and fell in love with it. Unfortunately, I was 14 and had no real idea of the chemistry between the characters, let alone all the huge words Hodgins was using. Needless to say, highschool got in the way, people broke me down, and life happened. In 2009, I made an attempt to watch the last episode of season 4 and, yet again, failed to understand anything [now, I know why]. But, this past summer, with a year of college under my belt and absolutely nothing to do for the week my parents were gone, I watched every episode of Bones. I watched them. Then I rewatched them. Then I watched my favorite season [4]. Then I watched my favorite episodes. By the time school started in September, I was a spoiler-obsessed Bones-lover with nothing else to talk about.

    As my love for Bones grew, my happiness grew as well. Fanficiton took up most of my free time as an outlet and I was, and still am, ok with that. And then it hit me: Twitter. THERE ARE OTHERS LIKE ME. Now, 5 months after re-watching the Pilot, I have another family. And, as you have clearly said, we don’t just talk about Bones. When one of us is having a bad day, we are all there with “hugs” and advice, ready to hurt whoever messed up our mood.

    My friends sometimes have to remind me to step back from my computer and “come back into the light” but I’m not sure they understand. You all are just as much my friends, and family, as they are.

    This past week, for the first time ever, I was ashamed to be a Bones fan. People were bullying HartHanson, and being rude to each other. And, honestly, it felt as though I was 8 years old again listening to my parents fight. True to form, though, my friends were right there, having each other’s backs. THAT’s why I watch Bones and why I constantly check my phone for twitter updates. Because no matter what “side” you happen to be on, and no matter how you feel about the show, your community is there for you.

    Everything you said, Seels, is true for me as well. I have grown more into myself in the past 5 months as I had in the previous 18 years of my life. I know I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I know that my friends and “family” in the Bones community will help me through it, just as I would help them.

    It’s like Hodgins and Wendell tell Perotta in Fire In The Ice. “We’re Booth’s people.” You are my people. And I’m one of yours. Thank you all. I’m not sure you quite understand how much you mean to me. =]

  7. So good to know the origin of your nickname, Seels. I like it! (Sarah’s good too, btw.) Thanks for sharing your story of how Bones changed your life for the better. It is certainly our good fortune that you love it enough to share your thoughts with us in this public forum.

    I started watching Bones just before this season started, because several articles I’d read compared it to another show I enjoy. Started watching from the Pilot (shout out for Netflix streaming!) and became slightly obsessed right away. Made it through 5 seasons in a surprisingly short time, all things considered. Now re-watching episodes on a daily basis, most of the time choosing which to watch based on mentions here.

    I love that everything here is so positive, yet thought-provoking. While I can understand that some fans are disheartened, I’d rather not read lots of complaining. Nearly every post here makes me consider something new or look at things from a different perspective. Even those aspects of the show that are frustrating are discussed in an optimistic and hopeful way.

    Is it too corny to be thankful for Thankful Week? Hope not, because I am. Thanks for plugging along, Seels!

  8. Hello Seels,
    This is my first time commenting here, I have only been a lurker for 2 weeks but today I had to comment because of your post. Thank you for sharing your story.
    For me finding this blog was like a godsend! By reading it I have come out of my funk. I have been in such a rut and even Bones was barely doing anything for me. It was awful because I found myself starting to be negative about Bones! This was pretty devastating to me because Bones is an addiction and where I escape from the real world! I was even the one that got the rest of my family hooked on it. So it was feeling like everything was getting me down and then I started reading the blog and I am like a new person. When I sent the link to my sister, she told me the reason I liked it so much was because it said exactly what I wanted to hear! And she is right.
    Through bonestheory I rediscovered the reasons why I love Bones so much and can now be excited when a new ep screens.
    So thank you so very, very much for sharing it’s something for all of us to be Thankful for.
    Ps. I love the book Sarah plain and tall. And Sarah is a nice name (much nicer than Anne anyway :P)

  9. Hey Sarah! (As much as I love your “Seels” nickname, I’ll always think of you as Sarah). Thank you for another beautifully transparent post. Although I don’t actually “know” you, I feel like we are alike in many ways. I think that’s why I am able to relate to (and agree with) what you write so often.

    I am typically a fairly introverted person (unless I know you, then I’ll talk your ear off completely unmercilessly) – both in my real life and online – and the result is that I don’t comment often on the blogs and online communities I am a part of and never for the first time until I am comfortable doing so (I guess you’d call me a lurker)…that is, until I found Bones Theory. The first thing I read here was your fifth anniversary post. After I finished reading (and commenting) on that post, I went back and read every other blog post (except for your episode reviews) that I could find and commented on at least two more. I don’t know what it was that made me jump out of my shell with such complete abandon that day – maybe it was your lack of negativity or the realization that there were other people out there who actually analyzed Bones the same way I did – but I did it, and I’m so glad I did.

    I am so grateful for the time and effort you put into BT and for the opportunity you’ve given me to contribute as well. Writing for BT is fun and challenging and is great exercise for my critical thinking skills. You will never know just how much I need that outlet.

    So thanks again and keep up the good work! 🙂

  10. I posted for the first time here tonight. I commented on your thankful posts and was almost completely negative. I am one of those people who is completely and totally sick about season 6 and has found pretty much nothing to be thankful for in this season (save shirtless Booth).

    That negativity said, I have to say that you struck a chord with me here because despite the fact that I’m completely bummed about Bones at the moment, it has had a similar effect for me. Somewhere along the line I saw that everyone that I was “friends” with in the BY seemed to be trying their hand at fanfic. Given that I’ve taken courses in TV writing in NYC and LA and written at least one that got good reviews in workshop, I figured I’d give it a try.

    So I tried it. I’ve posted a few things in the BY. Everyone has been incredibly supportive and encouraging. Of course, mine (as have everyone else’s, I think) quickly dispose of Hannah and get past the depressing events of S6. In that regard, fanfic provides a happy alternative to the show for the reader and can be cathartic for the writer.

    In any event, whether and how to write has been a central issue in my professional life. Most recently I simply was not doing it, but it’s always there looking for my attention. Fanfic was the perfect low risk, low effort way to get back to it. It has helped me rediscover and redirect that creative drive. So, I’m now planning concrete steps to go in that direction professionally. Not as a TV writer or anything like that, but writing for others. The Bones on the Blue Line’s scribe was sort of the first push in this direction. It gave a name/title and a new twist to what I had always seen myself doing.

    So, I guess I am thankful for Bones and for BonesTheory for this reason, even if I am not at all thankful for anything in S6.

  11. Ok, so I am going to do something that I am not good at or know to do well – I am going to share a part of myself with everyone. I am giving fair warning that this will be long and personal, and while I won’t apologize for that I won’t be offended if you skip it! 🙂 For me this post has spoken to my heart. I want you to know that the words we say matter and what you have said matters to me. I felt like I was reading my own thoughts and words. I thought yes, you know, you really know how I feel. This past two years of my life have been sheer hell – in a way that I could never have understood or anticipate prior to living it. Prior to the ensuing chaos I was a stay at home mom and wife. I was living what I thought was supposed to be my dream life. I had 5 amazing kids, was married to my high school sweetheart, my best friend since I was 16 lived next door. We ate family dinners once a week with our entire extended family. We vacationed in DisneyWorld every year. We were happy. Life I thought was good. Then one morning, after a really romantic dinner and movie, my husband called from work to tell me he wasn’t coming home, ever. I needed to get out of our family home and figure out how to make it all work on my own. I hung up the phone it rang and it was my Mom telling me she had just been diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. In those few minutes my entire world went dark and my soul shattered into a million pieces – I know I felt each one. Two weeks later I had packed our house and took all five kids and we drove cross country to WA to my mom (we had been living in Illinois – the only home we had ever lived in). I had no job, no education, no support, and nobody I knew besides my mom and dad. I was broken and lost. I was alone, very, very alone. I had these 5 humans who were so damaged and destroyed, looking to me to tell them it was going to be ok and take care of them. I had this woman who had been my cornerstone growing sicker and it scared me. For the first time in my whole life I was totally and completely alone, in a way I can’t even explain or find the words to describe. I did what I need to help my kids, to help my mom. As long as I kept busy I could ignore the truth and pain going on inside me. Then last summer I hit rock bottom. I hit it hard. I was so sad. I missed everything. I was so hopeless. More then anything I felt alone and completely unsure that I would ever find a place for myself in life again. I was (and I will admit in some ways still am) cynical about happiness and love. I just knew that no one could ever love me again, because I was not loveable (thanks to some very kind words from my ex I was convinced of this) and I had love and I hadn’t been enough to keep it. I had had friends and a place where I thought I belonged. I had that love that everyone talked about. And now I didn’t. It was really bad. I shut down. I couldn’t face life any more or the fact of how pathetic and alone I was. I was giving up. One day my 10 year old (just in case I haven’t said it yet God has given me the best, most amazing and insightful kids) came over to the couch I had made my home and asked if he could sit with me. He held my hand and said that we should find a show on TV to watch together. He said he had watched this show called Bones and he bet I would like it. We turned it on and watched an episode together. I laughed, out loud. Immediately my son said let’s watch another. Before I knew it I had all five kids cuddled with me on the couch and all three seasons qued up and ready to go. We spent a week together on that couch, all five of us. We ate there, sometimes slept there, but mostly we just watched Bones there. During that week I started to see somethings I never realized before, things I has pushed down and ignored. Here was this woman, yes she was crazy smart, but she more then that she was this damaged woman who had been hurt and abonded. She had lost everything, and was all alone in the world – but she was not hopeless. I could identify with her in so many ways. But what I couldn’t see in myself was what she had, this sense of who she was. She had been hurt and left but she hadn’t left herself. She was fearless. She pursued her life with a thirst for living, all while alone. Brennan gave me the courage to get up of the couch and find myself, my kids gave me the reason. So, at the end of our Bones marathon, I started my journey of discovering who I was, because if I was really going to be alone for the rest of my life then I darn well better know who I am and like who I am. So I started what I called my “Brennan” thinking. I tried things and pushed myself. I didn’t find myself, I wasn’t lost. I created the self I knew I was by doing what I felt was best for me. I used my time alone to explore, to question, to experiment, to fail, and to win. I gave myself the freedom and the room to just be and when I was unsure I would tell myself to “think like Brennan”. I am proud to say that this December I will graduate with a BA and my Mom will be there for that. I will be starting my Master’s program this Spring (Forensic Psychology – gee I wonder what influenced that…). I am raising 5 kids by myself (my ex has not seen them in 2 years and barely calls them) and they are thriving – they laugh more then they cry and they are a strong, courageous, compassionate and we are a loving family! I am independent and I can do it. Most importantly Brennan helped me to realize that I can be alone, it still hurts and I really long for that connection, but I don’t need someone to make me who I am. I am wonderful, dynamic, strong, and enough all on my own. Being alone is not the end, it is the beginning, it is the time right before you get to be together. What Bones did for our family was give us something that was ours – we could talk about it, laugh about it, cry about it, have cuddle Thursdays and pizza on the couch, it gave my kids a connection to me, a connection they couldn’t loose. They now have moments where they say remember that time when Booth did this, or Hodgins said that? It is ours and theirs and it helped balance the time of darkness. Again words matter (every time HH and SN write the script those words are making a difference to my kids and becoming a part of their lives) and what this show is matters – especially to them. They have found their own connectios with the characters and stories. It was given them hope. My 10 year old wants to be a bug and slime guy. My 5 year old has us call him Baby Booth. Our family has bonded and healed over Bones. Who in their right mind would have thought that? I am sure it never occurred to Hart Hanson that the story he was telling would be piviotal in the healing of 5 kids in WA. I bet he never really thought about how much his words would matter. It is just entertainment. But it is so much more then that, for them, for me, it was/it is a life saver. So if I could I would profuselt that Mr. Hanson (I would probably cry and hug him to be honest) for giving us Bones and for writing a story with words that matter.
    So as time as progressed and I continued to go to Bones as my safe haven I started searching the web and going to sites, lurking. What I started to realize is that there was this whole world out there of people who felt like I did. I could read post and feel connected. I could find comfort by reading blogs, this being a shinning example, and know that there were people out there who would understand me. Even though I never took a chance and posted I felt connected. I found this niche, this place where I belonged – just as I was. All the quirkiness that others didn’t get, people here did. I saw my thoughts reflected and I felt validated. Something shifted inside of me. I am still alone, I don’t have many friends here and spend my days at work and my evenings for the most part alone at home, but as silly as it sounds I have places I “belong” because of Bones. I don’t know anyone on these sites. I haven’t made any connections (yet?) but I still feel less alone. I feel like I could message just about anyone on a board like this talk Bones with them and they would listen, understand, and talk back. I feel a little less lost with Bones. On days where I miss my life in Illinois, I miss my friends, I go to these sites and I immerse myself. I read every post, and then I feel a little less alone. I feel like I can make it through the day because I have this whole world where I belong and where I can be if I need to and it is not going to go away. So even though I don’t know any of you on a personal level, thank you. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me every day and giving me a place to belong. A place to feel like I can go and “be” with people who are like me and would embrace me. And I would, in my previous life, had laughed at someone who claimed something as “silly” as a TV show could literally save their lives but not now. Not now because Bones literally saved mine. The first thing it did for me was make me laugh and I knew right then that it was something special because I never thought I would ever REALLY laugh again. It was a life line when I was drowning. It gave me something. Something that took absolutely nothing from and just gave. And for anyone who has been there you know how important just having something is. So now when anyone in my house is having a problem or feeling blue they say I need an episode of Bones (we all have our favorites and then there always seems to a Bones for whatever problem we are having). Bones has given me a voice and for that I will always be grateful for this series (I guess even with the advent of Hannah)! It has given me the courage to write this and put myself out there. To reach out and take the chance to be and not worry about rejection or being alone.
    Thank you Sarah for sharing and giving me a forum. Thank you for writing words that matter, especially to me.

    Becky Good

    • I totally have a huge typo, sorry!!

      it should read: “I would profusely thank Mr. Hanson…..”

    • Gerrytart5, you are amazing and beautiful for sharing your story. I am humbled by it and love how you are moving forward with your life so positively and are therefore imparting your same values to your children. This time in their lives will be one that they find to be a turning point in their own lives and it is YOU who will have given that to them. WOW – that is a great gift to them.

      Please continue to join us in this wonderful journey together with Bones.

    • I’m so moved by your post – and so glad that you are finding yourself and your wonderful family moving forward together (fueled by Bones :-)).

      Congrats.

  12. Hi there Seels!! So, this is my first comment here. First of all, thank you so much for this post, I love your blog! I´m so glad I found your blog. It makes me realize that I´m not the only one that is totally obsessed, or as my friends calls me.. Crazy.. I haven´t been a Bonesfan for so long, I watched my first episode spring this year, I think my first was 5×15 “The Bones on a blue Line”, but the episode that made me obsessed was The parts in the sum of the whole. I didn´t know then which season or episode, I just watched because my sister said it was a good Tv-show. So I watched the 100th episode, and the only thing I thought of for days after i watched it was Brennan saying no to Booth.. I´ve never been really obsessed with anything before, so I didn´t know what it feels like. But know I can watch an episode, and just be smiling like an idiot for a day after. And since I found your blog, I´ve been able to read this amazing posts about thoughts about Bones, and they always makes me happy. No one of my friends in real life is a bonesfan, I´ve one, but she only likes the show, she isn´t really obsessed and don´t cares about it as much as I do. It´s not so fun to not have anyone to discuss bones with, or to share the news or just talk about Bones with! I have made some new friends over the internet that I can talk with. Bones means so much to me, it always makes me happy when I´m not, and I just love it! I think I watch at least one episode almost every day. At first, after I watched the 100th episode, I saw that Bones season one was on tv so I began to watch up to the episodes on tv. I watched about 18 episodes in 3 days. My parents thought I was going crazy. It´s just so always make me happy to know that I have Bones, it´s the only thing that makes me relax when it´s too much in school. And it´s nice to have something to always look forward to.

    Sorry if my english isn´t perfect, but english is not my first language.

    Thanks again for having this blog! I love it! 😀

  13. As always, Seels, you’ve given us another great post! You people never cease to amaze me with your insights and writing ability. I’ve found that I can’t start my day without checking in here to see what you’ve said. It always moves me. Makes me think, laugh or cry. Makes me thankful that I have a place like this to read and comment about the ONLY show I currently watch on TV – and most thankfully, a place where fans respect each other.

    I discovered Bones while channel surfing one day in 2009. I don’t remember which episode it was, but the first scene I saw was Booth and Brennan talking in the car. It must have been one of Brennan’s science-speak rants, because I remember thinking…who IS this woman and why does she talk like that? What caught my attention most of all was that the man was DB…the gorgeous hunk from Angel (which is my other obsession). Ha Ha. Needless to say, I was hooked from then on. Bought all the DVDs and watch every rerun that comes on (I have to have my Bones “fix” every day). I love the show…every bit of it. And I wondered…why did it take me so long to find this gem?

    No one in my circle of friends or family understands this obsession of mine, and sometimes I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t talk about it. I’ve succeeded in getting one person to watch, although she’s not obsessed, she at least thinks “it’s a good show.” That’s a start…and after she watches a couple more, I think she’ll like it even more. Bones grows on you.

    It’s pretty amazing that a TV show can move people as much as Bones does. I’ve read some of the other comments about how people overcame difficult times in their lives and Bones inspired them to pick themselves up and try again. Such a testament to the characters and writing. I don’t even have to like every single episode, but I can say that there is some little moment in each one that redeems even my least favorite. That’s all I need. Just a moment that gets to me. It’s enough.

    Recently, I read a book about cult TV (because these have always been my favorites) and the elements that make this type of show so special. Bones fits the broader sense of that term…”mainstream” cult TV, because it appeals to a wider audience. A cult show doesn’t normally have the highest ratings, but it does have good character development, great music (how many of us have downloaded Bones songs on our iPods? Me…me…me!) and a large and noisy fan base that prides themselves on being able to figure out what’s happening, even if the words/scenes aren’t on screen. We like that we “get” what the writers are trying to do and feel invested when we are able to discern and find the deeper meanings. We’re way more involved than most. I like that. I like a show that makes me think and draws me in emotionally. Bones does that for me and I’m so thankful.

    I will always be a fan…no matter what. This is, IMO, the BEST show on TV, and I’m loving the journey…because that’s what it is all about. No journey is easy. It’s the bumps and bruises we get along the way that shape us into the people we become. I’m probably one of the few people who is loving season six…because progress is on the horizon. It may not seem like it at the moment, but there is meaning and reason to what is going on that will ultimately lead to dancing in the streets and smiles on our faces. Count on it.

    Isn’t it wonderful we have this great show to talk about?

  14. I really enjoy visiting your site, Seels. Your writing is intelligent, honest, perceptive, funny and always thought provoking. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and views. I think you made one of the best decisions of your life when you decided to give up on the teaching job you hated and took up writing. We are certainly all the better for it, and you have a very evident talent for it.
    I’ve watched Bones from the very beginning (being a DB fan from the first days of Buffy). My son introduced me to the whole concept of on-line communities and now I follow as many as can. Living in England means we are always behind with episodes and following these communities means I can be up to date with all the gossip, be aware of hiatuses and even (ahem!) watch the eps in advance. I do however find the current negativity on some of those sites very wearing – I’m an optimist, through and through.
    I adore your episode reviews, and love your generally poisitive view of things, and at times you’ve made me aware of and think about things that I had otherwise not given enough thought to. Thank you for that.
    I think you have been very brave to unburden yourself this way, (I hope it was cathartic) and I salute you.
    S xx

  15. I am personally really, really, VERY happy that I found this site. Thankful, even, Sunday and no longer Thankful Week may it be! I know I’ve probably mentioned it a time or two, but it honestly bears repeating.

    I came way late to the following of Bones; though I saw some of it in 05 or 06, I’ve never been much of a TV person and then I was already watching two or three shows. So it wasn’t until last year that I actually sat down and watched it. My little sister was watching it, and one day I was bored and sat and watched an entire episode because of Sweets, because I thought he was adorable. I still don’t have any memory of what the episode was, but shortly thereafter I saw Fire in the Ice and…well. I’ve since clung to it like a drowning kitten! Ha.

    The recent realization of an online community (and honestly, I feel stupid; I was a member of the Star Trek community, and they’re even more insane, WHY didn’t I think of it?) has made my life much happier. None of my friends like Bones! Not enough to blather on about it at them, at least, and I do love to blather. Oh, and my notations on my rambling are more automatic than anything, I’m not ACTUALLY embarrassed about yammering — I’ll try not to, now that I know you don’t like it, though!

    As to nicknames, I know what you mean. I like my nickname. It doesn’t mean anything to people here, though, and I don’t mind my name…so. Sarah is a good name, though. It’s pretty to say. And Seels is a great nickname — the story behind it is awesome, haha! — but, you know, I’m bad about names. I’ve never used them. Not even nicknames. I’m not even sure it’s a cultural thing, since I’ve lived in the South all my life, but I just don’t use names. Sunshine, darling, hon, and a variety of more obscene ones that I’ll also refrain from using because tact I might lack but I AM capable of refraining when I know it bothers people…yeah, I use those. But names? I don’t know.

    At any rate, you’re most definitely not the only one who can’t stop smiling after Fire in the Ice. I know I’m grateful to find other like-minded people, too. It means a lot to me to have people to share my thoughts with, and a place to do so. I’m starting to feel repetitive, so I’m going to go respond to the new scene study, now. And one last time thank you and everybody else here. Because you’re all awesome.

  16. “I want to know that I’m not the only one who can smile an entire day after watching the end scene of Fire in the Ice.”

    You are not ❤

  17. I’m with you on the fact that I have never loved a show like this one and I never knew that communities like this existed until I happened upon the OBY in Summer 2009. I was nervous about joining at first, and never included my real name in anything – but now I check in here and at the Lab almost daily, and can’t (don’t want to) imagine life without it 🙂

  18. I think I’ve only posted once prior to this, but visit and read every.single.day! The posts you come up with are amazing and thought-provoking. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us!

    I was late to the Bones party and the first episode I saw was Foot in the Foreclosure. What I think is funny is I thought that B&B WERE a couple in that episode. 🙂 I immediately went back to Season 1 and started watching all the episodes (Another Netflix streaming shoutout!). I unfortunately (?) got a cold and was on the couch for a week and was able to catch up! Then I felt lost with nothing to watch, so I started searching for bits of info for the upcoming Season 6. I found GMMR and a few people on Twitter and of course this site. I found out just how amazing Bones really is.

    I am thankful for this constantly and especially when I re-watch episodes. I would have never known that The End in the Beginning has scenes that are possibly in the future or that bits of the ‘coma dream’ made their way into Season 5 (and now Season 6). It is nice to know that there are other people who enjoy this show and analyze it as much, if not more, than I do! I am thankful for every post and comment people make. Thanks to Bones Theory and Bones!! 🙂

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