Whoa. They’ll never work. They’re like complete opposites.
I agree. For all her faults she’s a woman of science. Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion. You know, there’s no common ground.
You need common ground. What else is there?
This post isn’t exactly about B&B; it’s more about us. I didn’t want to let Thankful Week slip by without taking the time to just say how thankful I am to each person who stops by here every day. This week has been amazing to me. I’ll also tell you that I had a somewhat bad BONES experience over the weekend, and I was all set on Monday to just lay it all out, this incredibly thorough post that would have ended up being VERY negative in the end. Pal Jen encouraged me not to do that, and she was right. So I sort of begrudgingly decided to soldier on with Thankful Week, even though I wasn’t particularly feeling it. Not that I was faking any of my posts or anything like that…it’s more that I had to remind myself a bit. What happened over the course of the week absolutely blew me away as person after person continued to encourage me that thankfulness was really important. I’m very, very grateful for each person who shared in this week, and to each person who has visited and/or commented since BT opened up in July.
When I said the other day that the kind words people say are motivating to me, I meant it. But I don’t necessarily mean praise toward me as a person. It’s certainly nice, but what is more gratifying to me is the idea that I’m not alone in this world when it comes to BONES. I am not bragging, but I know I can write complete sentences and creative haikus and things like that. I’m still paying student loans to prove it, haha. When I’m on my 45 minute commute home from an 11 hour workday, what motivates me to open up my laptop when I get home is not the ability to write clear concise paragraphs. It’s more that I want to connect with you all on my thoughts. I want to know that I’m not the only one who can smile an entire day after watching the end scene of Fire in the Ice. Or the only one who hurts just a little bit over the fact that even though we all (even Booth) know the phone was from Brennan…it’s still not. It’s more about the need to connect with like-minded and like-hearted people.
Brain and Heart.
On November 27th, 2007, I watched my first BONES episode, The Santa in the Slush. I never would have guessed that three years later, we’d be having this kind of blogversation. But I’m not complaining. I love the BonesTheory community. It’s awesome when something works out just the way you want it to. When it exceeds your wildest dreams, that’s even better.
It’s hard for me to imagine that other shows have communities like BONES does. Do they? I would have no idea. I’ve never really loved a show like this before. Whether it imprinted on me in 2007 or I imprinted on it, I’m not sure. Either way, we’re kind of stuck with each other, BONES and me. Here are three things that the BONES community has given me.
I’ve already talked about how the Old BoneYard was my first ‘home’, but it’s just impossible to explain how true that is. I come from a really good family, and I have lots of friends, but no one I would consider to be best friends, you know? When people describe being lonely in a crowd of people, I can identify with that. Some of that is my own fault; I can be shy (which is sometimes just pride), I can say the wrong thing sometimes, and I can try to be something I’m not, for whatever reason. But the worst thing I feel is when it seems like no one really understands. For me, that spring and summer of 2008, it was all about learning that there were a lot of people I had common ground with. And not just with BONES either, but a penchant for Dairy Queen Blizzards with Oreos on the side and knowing that Weezer’s best work is the Blue Album and Arrested Development quotes and so much more. The number of people I’ve connected with has reached into the hundreds, probably even thousands. But my first connections were with Lauren, Steph and Mary on the BY. Somehow, it just happened. I’ve gotten to know a lot of you over the years since then, some more than others, but those three were my first. The friendships I had (and still have) with them are some of the best of my life. I’m really thankful for them, and for each person I’ve met. Some of you all have emailed me some incredibly personal things about yourselves, or commented here on BT, and I want you to know that I take that very seriously. It’s humbling, and I’m very thankful for your honesty. Pal Tory sometimes jokes that Bones Theory is like Bones Therapy, haha, and that makes me laugh, but I do also take that seriously, because it’s the same way for me, being able to express my thoughts and feelings is healthy. I don’t want to take the community for granted. It’s very valuable. It’s invaluable, actually.
Having said that, it’s ironic that I sort of became more of myself when I used a fake name. It also sort of used to give me the creeps about myself, haha, that I was one of those ‘online people’. I always felt so furtive about it. But one day, pal Sara from Wales called me “Seels”, which was a nickname for the username ‘seeleybaby’ I’d created, and it sort of just stuck. I’d never really had a nickname before (at least not a nice one), and I’d never really liked the name Sarah at all. It just sort of felt like ‘not me’. I wasn’t particularly pretty or sweet. I didn’t love horses or dream of being in Little House on the Prairie or anything like that which I sort of associated with someone named Sarah. Sarah from the Bible or Sarah, Plain and Tall were kind of my options, you know? I always wanted to have some name associated with someone gorgeous, but especially a name that could be made into both a cute nickname and an awesomely professional name. Like Kate or Anne or Elizabeth. Or some glamorous name like Dorianne Wallingford from The Babysitters Club books. Seriously. But I was totally a Kristy.
Okay, okay, haha, I’m getting distracted. But the point is “Seels”, it sort of just fit. It was fun and cute and when people called me that (and still call me that), it’s very affectionate. I love that. Very much. Seels was cool and knew what she’s talking about and was popular, etc. Something “Sarah” is not always; does that make sense? Some of you may identify with that in some ways. I’m thankful to BONES and to the community for that kind of feeling.
Having said that, I’m finding that more and more I’m pleased to sort of blend my real life with my writing. To not really be ashamed of being both Sarah and Seels at the same time, if that makes sense. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I’d never watched that episode on 11/27/2010. At the time, I was really struggling…really strugging with my career as a teacher. I couldn’t sleep; I woke up every day dreading it. On Sunday nights, I’d get anxious, just thinking about the fact that I had to go back the next morning. I was breaking out into hives (this is a somewhat normal occurrence, as I have particularly sensitive skin, but it was happening all of the time), and I was just miserable. I really thought I had to kind of suck it up and deal. And then, running alongside of that (this is getting into January or February of 2009), I was watching and re-watching BONES episodes, seasons one and two. And I began to feel particularly itchy in a way that had nothing to do with the fact that I’m allergic to random things like strawberry jello, band-aids and detergent for sensitive skin. Itchy in this way like, ‘there’s something more than my life right now’. That’s a really scary place to be. Over the next couple of months, after I joined up on the BY, I started writing, and I liked it. It was very natural and it just…happened. If I ever thought I would run out of ideas, I never, ever did. And then, by April of 2008, I’d decided not to teach English, and I resigned as of the end of that school year. Instead of working at this (allegedly) creative job, I was going to just get a random job and have a creative life. And…it worked. Part of me wants to just say, “the rest is history”, but the truth of it is that I may have never done that, if it weren’t for BONES. Those several months between April and September of 2008 were a major stress for me, but also I felt the most ‘myself’ that I’d ever felt. I’m sitting here and it seems SO BIZARRE to say that a TV show and a website or two can do that for a person, but it’s the truth, and I don’t know how else to explain it. I hope some of you feel the same. There’s just a validity to my life experience that comes when BONES is in the picture. I’m thankful for that.
This post ended up being a LOT more about me than I intended it to be. If Bones Theory provides those kinds of things for you, don’t throw thanks and praise my way. I love hearing about your lives and what BONES means to you, but you don’t owe that to me. I’m just one person in a sea of love. Pay it forward. If you want to start your own blog, let me know, and I’ll help you. If you’ve never commented here at BT, I welcome you to consider joining the discussion. Not because I care about numbers or being popular, because I don’t. It’s because your experience and the way you put that into words is valuable. It always bums me out a bit whenever someone begins a comment with something like, “Well, I don’t know if this counts, but…” and then proceeds to mention a moment he or she loves about BONES. Heck yes, it counts! Say it loud and proud baby! And I don’t like when people comment and then pause and blush and maybe say something like, “Oh, I’ve totally rambled,” or “I’ve said WAY too much”.
Ramble away! Say what you want, as much as you want! I do! We’re all in this together. I’m not a celebrity or someone more valuable to the BONES community that anyone else. I don’t write about BONES for a living; I write for a loving. You share in that love, and that’s what should be celebrated.
After all, it’s common ground.
What else is there?
Peace, Love & Bones,