Bones Theory

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Eventually

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Hello! Welcome to “Eventually Week”!  

I’ll be honest; I’ve toyed with the idea for this for awhile, mostly because I know that ‘eventually’ is a word that carries strong connotation for a lot of us. For some of us, it’s hope and faith and Booth, all wrapped up in a nice and cocky package. For some of us, the very word ‘eventually’ may be annoying and overused. We might be frustrated with other BONES fans who constantly toss it around and say that everything good points straight toward it. I get both sides; I really do. In the end, I still like it, and these next several days will be my chance to prove it to you. But first…let’s talk words:

Words like ‘symbiosis’ or ‘making love’ or ‘ducks’…sure, they have their own intrinsic meaning, but within the BONES universe, there is also context– to the point where it’s almost clique-ish and jargon. So what’s a new BONES fan to do? I hope this post and this week will help you out a bit.

Below are 25 words or phrases with some definitions and context (in my own words, of course). So here we go…in alphabetical order:

 #1. Baby Duck: (n)

                A person who imprints himself or herself on another person, usually because of a deep desire to connect. The duck may or may not make mistakes, but can usually find comfort in the ‘wings’ so to speak of the mother/father duck. Depending on the willingness of the ‘parents’, there may be slight levels of annoyance, ignoring.   EX: Sweets, to Booth and Brennan (See Man in the Mud, Season Three and Mayhem on a Cross, Season Four for more details).

#2. Breaking the Laws of Physics: (v)

                The difference between making love and having crappy sex with a person. Oftentimes also described as ‘a miracle’ or ‘when two people become one’. This also seems an effective method in getting a woman to say that a man is right.  EX: Brennan and Booth.

(See Death in the Saddle, Season Three as well as End in the Beginning, Season Four vs. Couple in the Cave, Season Six for more details).

#3. Charm Smile: (n)

                The method a man uses to get what he wants. This could include the identification of a murder victim; it could include convincing a woman he loves that she is special; it could also include convincing a woman to fix a man’s back.

Usually has this affect:

(See Superhero in the Alley, Season one as well as Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond and Princess and the Pear, Season Four for more details).

 

#4. Cocky (adj):

Also known as “Boothy”; this adjective symbolizes a way of life. A “living wide” way of life that includes striped socks, being a free thinking rogue rebel, and looking like this:

Most often found on a belt buckle, most notably as a gift from a woman to the man she most wants. Also can be used to slow down the inevitability of a ticking bomb. (See Man in the Mansion, Season Two, Hero in the Hold, Season Four and Plain in the Prodigy, Season Five for more details.)

 

#5. Coffee (n):

The excuse used to spend time with the one you love. This can include arriving to her apartment early in the morning and interrupting her when she is with another man. This often stands for the word “relationship” to signify the deep and rich, and sometimes sweetened, stability of a partnership. (See Widow’s Son in the Windshield, Secret in the Soil, Verdict in the Story, all Season Three and Devil in the Details, Season Five for more details.)

#6. “Don’t call me…” (Declarative Statement)

Used to designate resentment toward ownership despite an inevitability. EX: Brennan with her partner, Seeley Booth. She at first tells him not to call her ‘Bones’, but as the series progresses, she calls herself that, using the term to set her apart from his other acquaintances. When Sweets offers to call her that as well, she says no. (See Pilot Episode, Season One, Cinderella in the Cardboard, Fire in the Ice and Princess and the Pear,  all Season Four and Foot in the Foreclosure, Season Five for more details).

 

#7. Egg: (n)

Representative of a mutually and exclusively agreed upon arrangement between two people to keep what is between them theirs.

 

 Also serves as a poor ingredient in meatloaf. (See Night at the Bones Museum, Season Five for more details)

 

#8. Guy Hugs (n)

A tongue-in-cheek way of physically connecting with a work partner without doing what would be preferred, which is to actually tongue-kiss him/her. Used sparingly, but for effect. Success depends on both parties agreeing not to ever make a big deal out of how good it feels to hug nor the fact that one hugger is in fact not a guy. Success also depends on said guy-hugger not actually hugging any other guy.

( See Headless Witch in the Woods, Judas on a Pole and Stargazer in a Puddle, all Season Two, Finger in the Nest and Cinderella in the Cardboard, Season Four for more details).

 

#9. Hot Blooded: (adj)

Occasionally referred to as “our song” by Agent Booth, it implies a connection that transcends years and singing ability. Also allows for relaxation of inhibitions on Dr. Brennan’s part. Used to describe two people who have so much sexual tension they could power a small mid-western city. (See Episodes 1-115 for more details).

#10. I don’t know what that means. (Definitive Statement)

Used primarily by Dr. Brennan in situations where she does not in fact know what something means. Or does she? Possible motives include wanting to make Booth feel smarter or to assuage her own curiosity. Phrase can be used by viewers around the world with no shame. Likewise, phrase is used by Agent Booth after kissing Dr. Brennan under the mistletoe (see: STEAMBOATS). Phrase represents a desire to fit in and a use of the brain to do so. (See Pilot, Season One, Santa in the Slush, Season Three and The Parts in the Sum of the Whole, Season Five for more details)

 

#11. Just… (Qualifier)

Used before “partners”, “mistletoe” or “evidence” to suggest a diminutive in meaning, as in, “it’s merely evidence”. Primarily used by Agent Booth or Dr. Brennan when presented with the popular opinion that nothing between them is “just” anything at all.

We're JUST partners.

It was JUST mistletoe

It's JUST evidence!

(See Secret in the Soil, Season Three, Fire in the Ice, Season Four and Goop on the Girl, Season Five for more details.)

#12. King of the Lab (n)

A superiority; a state of being awesome. Usually crowed at the result of realizing a seemingly impossible answer or solving a case. Commonly attempted but not achieved by graduate level students (see: SQUINTERNS). May or may not include using your boss’s blender or singing near-operas in the lab. (See Wannabe in the Weeds, Season Three and The Shallow in the Deep, Season Six for more details)

#13. Mac & Cheese, Pie, Thai Food, Tequila, Scotch (n)

Methods of subtle seduction and expressions of affection between two partners. Seemingly harmless connections over food that in fact bind two people together better than just about any other thing.

 

(See Girl with a Curl, Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House, Season Two, Pain in the Heart, Season Three, Bones on a Blue Line and Parts in the Sum of the Whole, Season Five for more details.)

#14. Someday (n)

Used in intimate conversation over a bottle of scotch (see: MAC & CHEESE et al) to describe a vague possibility with concrete certainty. Must be paired with vulnerability and regret, but also optimism. For best results, add a very comfortable couch.

(See Cinderella in the Cardboard for more details)

 

#15. Someone for Everyone (v)

In this instance, staking a claim; giving confidence to; reassuring. Requires hint of desperation on the part of Agent Booth and gorgeous and recently rejected so increasingly drawn-to-that Dr. Brennan. Paired with the imperative, “You’ve just gotta be open enough to see it” implication. (See Man in the Outhouse, Season Four and Bones on a Blue Line, Season Five for more details.)

 

#16. Squint/Squintern (n)

Someone who is smarter than you and knows it. May or may not enjoy using terms like diatomaceous earth or molecular restructuring. Usually found in a white lab coat until doctorate degree is received, at which point, blue lab coat is assigned. Known for taking slight verbal abuse from Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth yet remaining loyal (with one exception). (See Pilot Episode, Season One, Intern in the Incinerator, Season Three, Majority of Season Four-Six for more details.)

 

#17. Steamboats (n)

The duration of time measured whilst Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth must kiss in order to secure their fatetheir sexual compatibility…a Christmas in jail for Max.

May or may not include tongue contact. Usually reduces both parties to inconsistent behavior such as using words like “stuff” or “I don’t know what that means.” Provides side benefits such as gum-sharing and district attorney-shocking. Mistletoe required. (See Santa in the Slush for more details.)

#18. Steel Ovaries (n)

The quality of not taking any crap from any Booth nor any man, particularly in the area of frank sex talk at the dinner table, but also can include in moments of danger. Highly complimentary. Bonus points if Booth blushes. (See Foot in the Foreclosure, Season Five for more details and Killer in the Concrete, Season Two and Hero in the Hold, Season Four as well as Mastodon in the Room, Season Six for examples)

#19. Symbiosis (n)

The close-knit quality of two people in a single life shared. Though normally used to describe parasitic relationships, in this case, Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan ‘feed’ off of one another in order to capture suspects and bring about justice. Also acts as “Word of the Day” or “Common Ground”.

(See Widow’s Son in the Windshield, Season Three and The Bone that Blew, Season Four for more details)

#20. Take Like a Flea (v)

The act of making a partner feel valid and listened to. Invokes reaction of surprise and thankfulness. Demonstrates a level of stability and trustworthiness. In the literal sense, involves spreading the pain on a potential suspect. See: COCKY. (See Mastodon in the Room, Season Six for more details).

#21. The Line (n)

An intangible object meant to separate two people that only serves to bind them closer together on one side of said line. An act of protection on the part of Agent Booth and acceptance and awareness from Dr. Brennan. Reiterated by Dr. Brennan but quickly dismissed, as if the notion of an existing line indicates and somehow proves that desirous feelings must in fact need a line to be separated. May or may not be mildly obsessed over by fans around the world. Can also be referred to as  “a door neither of us wants to walk through”.

(See Man in the Cell, Season Two, Secret in the Soil, Season Three and Death of the Queen Bee, Season Five for more details.)

#22. The Standard (n)

An expression of devotion despite existing circumstances. Evidence of faith, hope and love. Not to be confused with “Someone for Everyone”, this noun requires a tiny bit of unrequited-ness, though is usually shared between Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth. (See Predator in the Pool, Season Five and Maggots in the Meathead, Season Six for more details)

#23. Time & Space (n)

An attempt to put a distance between oneself and one’s partner; sometimes successful, sometimes not. Can be split into two separate entities, 1). Time 2). Space.

At times offers humor and at other times sadness. Most often occurs during a time of high vulnerability, causing one partner to reveal previously secretive information.

(See ConMan in the Meth Lab, Season Four and Boy with the Answer, Season Five for more details.)

#24. Translated (v)

The act of being murdered and/or dying; a humorous take. Used primarily as a code word during a funeral, preemptively before stealing dead body away from said funeral. Can inspire shock and awe, and can also lead to charades and admissions of incredible charm.

 

(See Double Death in the Dearly Departed, Season Four, for more details.)

#25. Village (n)

A representation of ‘everything’ (see: EVENTUALLY WEEK), including but not limited to, children, babies, Venn Diagrams, a shared future, a coy way of pretending at a very real thing (dependence on one another). A good excuse to lean in and make your partner smile.

(See Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Season Five, for more details).

What about the definition for ‘Everything Happens Eventually’, you might ask? Well, that’s what the rest of this week is for! Which words/phrases did I miss? And would you change any of the above definitions? 

If this were ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” or if BONES was completely over, I’d say ‘So long & thanks for all the fish’. But this isn’t either of those things, so I’ll just say…

Peace, Love & Bones

~S

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39 thoughts on “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Eventually

  1. OH MY GOD !!! I laughed, I still laugh !!! good job !!! I bet we can add some others specific words to the list….

  2. Oh GOD!! That was hilariously amazing! You captured everything so well! I want to go back and read it all over again! I thought I’d quote some of my fav parts but then I’d be practically copying most of the post here, so… I especially liked #11.Just… and #17.Steamboats.

    The only thing I’d add is Sweets’ interpretation of “Pie” from The Pain in the Heart for definition Nr. 13. 😉

  3. These are wonderful definitions. The Guy Hug cracks me up. Booth is a great believer in Guy Hugs as long it involves Brennan. The time Hodgins guy hugged him because Booth told Hodgins he believed him (can’t remember which episode that was) made me laugh. Booth is really uncomfortable when guys actually try to hug him. AND, of course, who doesn’t like Charm Smile. Love it.
    Thanks.

  4. If this was a dictionary..I’d buy it!!!

  5. Oh man, as an English nerd and a Bones nut this is awesome!! I just love tuning in every day to see what you’ll come up with next. Excellence!

    I would add:

    Brain (n) A physical part of one’s body situated in the cranium and term used to metaphorically represent reason, rationality, and objectivity. (See “The Verdict in the Trial”)

    Heart (n) A muscle located in one’s sternum, capable of being crushed vs. broken under duress. Also, in a metaphorical sense, the seat of one’s emotions, capable of accepting and reciprocating love despite all rational arguments. (See “The Verdict in the Trial,””The Goop on the Girl,” et al)

  6. This is fantastic! I need to give this to my family and friends who don’t watch Bones so they can interpret what I am saying half the time! Haha! I was trying to think of other terms I use in daily conversation to add and the only ones I didn’t see were Whoa (Horse)! and hear crushed, but those I pretty self explanatory…to me at least. 🙂

  7. Kudos on this list! Extra points for your “references” on #9. After that one I couldn’t come up with anything more to add 🙂

  8. This is so great! I love these definitions and some of the examples are priceless.
    Love:
    *Egg
    *Guy Hug with this caveat: “Success also depends on said guy-hugger not actually hugging any other guy.” < — isn't that so totally the key??
    *Hot Blooded – "Used to describe two people who have so much sexual tension they could power a small mid-western city."
    *"just"
    *take like a flea – love that you included this phrase – one of my own personal pieces of evidence of "faith, baby"
    *translated

    And because you asked and because you are expecting it I will add:
    Things Have to Change (v) — Used to indicate a necessary force to move relationships forward that risk stagnation. Related terms include entropy and evolution. Use of said phrase by one Special Agent Seeley Booth can lead one to believe in its validation. Phrase can cause pain (Ex: End in the Beginning), but also hope and joy (Ex: Fire in the Ice and Season 6)

    and

    Faith, baby (n) Phrase used by Dr. Jack Hodgins to indicate Dr. Temperance Brennan’s belief without tangible evidence in the ability of one Special Agent Seeley Booth to save them from imminent death. More commonly used by Janet (@ProfeJMarie) with unflappable persistence and other fans to represent the faith in the “eventually” as set forth by Sarah (Seels, @SarahInPrint) henceforth this week.

  9. And, BTW, your picture that corresponds with “Village”? I’m just going to have to gaze at that one for awhile — hope no one minds me hanging around . . .

  10. Too awesome! You should save the list and keep adding to it as things pop into your head. It should be reposted every month with the new entries, it’s so great. Here’s my two cents:

    Alpha male: an individual having the highest rank within a community whose status is often signified by outward attributes of power, such as coloring or size in animals and ornamentation/attire in humans. The definition has lately been altered to replace outward attributes such as “plumage” and “baubles” with “looking out for family and friends.” Can often be used in conjunction with the word “cocky.” (See Conman in the Meth Lab, Two Bodies in the Lab, The Proof in the Pudding.)

    Undercover: to disgusie one’s identity for the purpose of discovering information. “Going undercover” may also often denote erratic behavior in the participant such as excessive enjoyment of knife-throwing (Double Trouble in the Pan Handle), frantic hugging of bruised and battered partner (Woman in the Sand) and inordinate sublimation of feelings, sexual and otherwise, during a close dance (Death of the Queen Bee.)

  11. haha, so amusing. looking forward to this week now. I agree with all the additions above, and would also like to add one that I seem to be using a lot recently:

    30 or 40 or 50 years (adj): Used to describe seriousness of intended relationship and level of commitment needed/wanted/already present in said relationship. See also “the gambler”, “i knew” and “different outcome”. When spoken by one Seeley Booth to partner Temperance Brennan can cause uncertainty, heartcrushing and unwanted change. Alternate meaning can include an abbreviation of the love for one Temperance Brennan by one Seeley Booth and the promise that he therefore makes/poses i order to go for a different outcome. (See “The Sum of the Parts in the Whole”, Season 5.)

  12. Hahaha, I love this. Best dictionary ever. Another word I picked up from Bones and incorporated into my everyday speak is the word “heartcrushing.” The village scene has always made my breath catch a little bit, so I’ll be staring at that picture along with Janet for a bit. 🙂

  13. Very cool.
    #11Just made me laugh out loud. This is an awesome idea because BONES has developed such a specific lanquage over the years that probably doesn’t make sense to everyone immediately.
    I agree “Brain” and “heart”(with crushing and kicking it into overdrive) could be added.

  14. Oops, one more:

    Evidence: tangible proof of the existence of something. Often used in conjuction with “I need…” and may include earrings (Man in the Morgue), bullets (Wannabee in the Weeds), and phones (Maggots in the Meathead.) “Evidence” may also exist in the form of intangibles such as faith (Aliens in a Spacecraft) and possible deceptions regarding presidential identities and plumbing (Proof in the Pudding, The Bond in the Boot).

  15. I loved this so much!!! It made my day 🙂 I even sent it to 2 of my friends that I watch BONES with every week. My favorites were definitely “Cocky”, “Steel Ovaries”, and “Just…”. I literally cannot watch The Foot in the Foreclosure with anyone else because they all yell at me for laughing through every scene with Hank. The only thing I would add would be the following: “Hannah Burley (n.) the most recent girlfriend of our main man Special Agent Seeley Joseph Booth, and the cause of BONES fans’ angst through season six. Commonly used as a curse word by hardcore shippers of Brennan and Booth. (all of Season Six, thus far)”

  16. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I just loved it! Just wish you would have included a picture of a B&B guy hug. Seriously, thanks for another great post that helps remind me of why I so love Bones!!!!

  17. Hahaha! I absolutely loved this! Fantastic list with excellent definitions. 😀

    One thing I would add is additional examples for “Don’t call me…” that don’t refer to Brennan. For instance, Booth and Cam say that to each other about their first names (i.e. “Don’t call me Seeley”/”Don’t call me Camille”); it was originally used in flirtation between the two characters, but now is a reminder of their close friendship.

    I can’t wait to read what you have in store for us during “Eventually” Week!

  18. …and I thought I was obsessed. Awesome!

  19. laugh out loud funny!! especially the reference for hot blooded! Love it. great comments by all.

  20. What a great idea! I love your list – so useful and so funny!

    My favorite has to be #9, not that it’s my favorite word on the list, but because of this reference:
    Used to describe two people who have so much sexual tension they could power a small mid-western city. (See Episodes 1-115 for more details).

    I agree with everyone who wants to add “heart-crushing” to the list. I actually say that now in place of heart-breaking because Dr. Brennan is right – it’s a more accurate term.

    I also agree with bones62442 on “30 or 40 or 50 years.” I’ve used that reference in various comments myself.

    I might also add “yowza,” but my main reason for fixating on that word is that Brennan is just so freakin’ adorable when she says it! 🙂

    I started watching “Bones” long after “Santa in the Slush” first aired. In an effort to better understand the show I was falling in love with, I started following the #Bones hashtag on Twitter. It seemed like everyone was always referencing steamboats, and I was like, I don’t know what that means. I actually googled “Bones episode with steamboats” to figure it out. I also googled the phrase “nothing happens unless first a dream.”

    I’m going to take this guide and 100 Day of Bones along with me as I go back and watch every episode in order. Thanks for such useful references! Bones Theory rocks!

    • Haha I found your comment hilarious in the best way! When I saw you say you actually googled those terms… lol! I guess I’d never really understood how many things have unique meaning for us fans, since none of my RL friends really watch it and I rarely talk to them about it, and the only people I talk about it with are my online friends, who are equally obsessed.
      Have a nice time discovering the awesomeness of Bones! 🙂

      • Thanks! I wish I had watched from the beginning because then Bones would have been a part of my life for the last 5 years. Instead, it’s a disproportionately large part of my life now, as I have a lot of free time and can finally catch up on missed episodes. It’s so much fun! None of my friends or family watch it either, so I’m so glad to have found the online Bones community. There is an endless battle being waged within my family – they relentlessly push me to watch NCIS, and I relentlessly push them to watch Bones!

    • Don’t worry, this part of obsessively discovering BONES is one of the best, I think! I started watching BONES when Season 1 aired in my country but not consistently, got stuck in early Season 2, obsessed by the middle-to-end of it and through Season 3. These aired in a row in my country and when they ended there was a long hiatus where I rented all S1-S3 DVDs and watched them all in less than 6 days! (It was a period when I had a lot of free time too!)Then I got online and discovered Season 4 had started in the US…and that was it. But I’ll never forget those 5 days where my life was all about BONES! Crazy, but so worth it!
      I’ve only watched NCIS randomly, but for me it can’t compare to BONES. But that’s just me. 🙂

  21. I re-read your list and thought I might add “thanks for the gum”, it describes a flustered, puzzled, reaction to a kiss that was supposed to be a Mistletoe kiss and turned into a little bit more.
    I know I was flustered. Whew.

  22. This post makes me happy! Can’t wait to re-read it several times after the kids are in bed. Thank you!

  23. This post is just awesome. Reading it I just agreed with each word/phrase and the corresponding definition and references. I just blew my mind and I was too amazed to think of anything else. The pictures you used to demonstrate each point are just perfect.

  24. This is fantastic! I love that we have our own lexicon that we can use in RL. Most people don’t understand us…but I reckon we’d all be thrilled the day that someone comments in reply to one of these references. A new friend is made! A bit like someone recognising the Bones themed ringtone on my phone…ok, did I just admit that? Yep – obsessed and proud!

    I’d add ‘heart-crushing’ too. And ‘anthropologically speaking’ – phrase used when trying to justify a person’s behaviour by using science. Often used to avoid complex human interaction and to return a conversation to a more comfortable or neutral ground.

    I’ll be back when I can think of some more!

    • hubby told me to ‘chop chop’ the other day….and later we referenced ‘purple elephants’.

      Bones is very much a part of my vocab!

  25. I absolutely love this, and am in awe of your creativity. As usual!

  26. Looooooveeee this! Thank you so much for a great post! Please do repost this every month as what Maria has suggested. Pleeeeeeeeeaaaasssseeee???

  27. Hahahaha!!! This was absolutely brilliant!! I gave myself a little pat on the back and an imaginary high five 25 different times when I knew what the word meant! The additional suggestions are great too! Thanks for sharing the dictionary!!

  28. I may have to print this out for my friends so I don’t have to keep saying ‘it’s a Bones thing’ when they ask what i’m talking about! Steamboats is an official unit of measurement in my life now. Translated & King of the Lab are a couple of favourites. Oh & I agree with everyone else that heartcrushing should be added.
    Another great post Love it.

  29. ipso facto columbo oreo (origin – Latin, the capital of Sri Lanka, and a cookie): a term used to describe how something can sound like something it isn’t. Can also be used in place of the word “therefore.”

    Totally used it in conversation just this morning!

    Great list Sarah and great additions by everyone else. 🙂

  30. LOVE it! Might add “dancing phalanges” in there somewhere,…but seriously, hilarious.

  31. I loved this so much – Thanks Seels!

  32. Stellar! Just brilliant. Couldn’t stop laughing.

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