There is so much to discuss, and I know you want to. Is there a teensy part of me that feels a little bit of embarrassment over my devotion to ‘eventually’? Yeah, a tiny bit. BUT…the rest of me is in fighting mode. It is on, my friends. This had all better be worth it. Or else, what…you might ask? I don’t know, haha. But SOMETHING! Something IMPORTANT! I’m not mad; I promise. It’s just that my heart is rising up and getting fierce.
Okay…deep breath in, deep breath out.
Actually, let’s talk even MORE about feelings, shall we? Specifically…let’s discuss what Booth said about feelings.
1. His previous feelings of love for Brennan which are no more. I (sort of) believe him. Or at the very least, I believe that HE believes himself, and that is good enough for me for the purposes of this post. But what I’m not sure about is this…what exactly ARE (WERE) those feelings? What is it that he felt for Brennan? Do we really know? Has Booth ever been honest with ANYONE about his feelings for Brennan? Max, possibly, in Bone that Blew. Cam, a bit, in Harbingers. And Dr. Wyatt…sort of, in Dwarf in the Dirt. But…I’m not so sure about any other time. Perhaps the more he asserts himself in this area, the more ‘truth’ there is being covered up? Just a thought.
2. His interpretation of Brennan’s (also allegedly former, according to him) feelings for him. Brennan did NOT say ‘love’; we know she didn’t. And yet, Booth tells Sweets that she did. Even my dad, who was casually watching with me sort of frowned, “She didn’t say love, if I recall.” Right on, Dad. She said she regretted not giving him a chance. But Booth heard something else. Is he correct? Thoughts?
Soooo…what’s to make of all of this?
I know I’m among friends. I know I’m with rational people who use their brains and their hearts in conjunction. I know there won’t be spoilers or foul language (despite my *ahem* small lack of discretion previously). I know that I can ask you what I’ve asked you without fear that this will turn into a Booth bashing fest. I don’t want to censor people. And sure, there’s room for frustration and anxiety. It’s not easy to hear him say ‘never’ or anything like that. It’s not easy to see him toast to love with Hannah. But perhaps we’ve relied too much on our hearts in the Booth department and we’ve associated right and wrong to what we feel. If that’s not a total Booth thing, I don’t know what is!
I don’t always answer my own MAQs but today, I’m going to toss out my thoughts.
I think Booth is completely serious when he says ‘it will never happen’. I think what he means is “I will never put myself in a position to feel as crushed as I did”. Let’s not underestimate Booth’s ability to compartmentalize. That’s what he’s done, and it’s probably healthy in some ways.
So he tried it one way, the ‘fate way’, I’ll call that, and we all saw the results of that (and let’s also remember the difference between what we know and what he knows regarding Brennan and her decision making/motivations. There is not a statute of limitations on the amount of time that passes before Booth is somehow responsible for that knowledge). So…he decides to create his own fate. He finds someone new. She likes him. She loves him. She does a lot of things that make it kind of easy for him, and so he has a choice to make; feel pain and miserable or feel loved.
I don’t know about you, but when I look at myself right now, in regard to my failed relationships in the past (whether they are romantic or not), I do totally hedge my bets. I’m not going to just hand my heart over to someone who has hurt it in the past. Let’s also be clear; for all Booth said on love…I don’t think he ever said anything like that, “Keep offering yourself to a person who seems to not care one bit”. So he’s not being a hypocrite for not wanting to be brokenhearted all of the time.
So…gone is the cocky belt buckle. Gone are the after case drinks. They’ll be partners, because that’s the new way. He’s making his own fate. He’ll still protect Brennan, but at arm’s length. Not because he doesn’t care about her, but he honestly does remember what it feels to have her in his arms.
If you’re in a relationship now, you know it’s not healthy to hold on to feelings and/or fantasize about a past lover. Booth should not be required to do so (especially considering Brennan was never his lover).
So again, I say…what’s to make of it all? I can’t wait to hear what you have to say!
Peace, Love & Bones,