Bones Theory

Two’s Company-Three’s a Crowd: A Female Perspective on the Brennan/Booth/Hannah Triangle

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Hello and Happy Valentine’s Day, my darlings! I hope you have a good day. I’ll be pretending I’m not more in love with fictional characters than actual people, haha. But first, I have something exciting to share.

A few weeks ago, I read an article by a TV-writer/critic named Josh Gray. His article was about how Hannah was a better match for Booth than Brennan, and it was so fascinating to me that I felt I had to respond, and I did so here. Josh was such a good sport about it, and when I asked if he’d be interested in doing a co-piece together for Valentine’s Day, sort of a He Said/She Said, well…he said yes!

Here’s the link to his article, and it’s certainly worth a read:

Like Josh did, I’m going to discuss four main points:

1. Why Hannah said no to Booth’s proposal

2. Is It Sweets’ Fault that Agent Booth Keeps Getting His Heart Broken?

3. Final Thoughts on the “The Daredevil in the Mold”

4. Will Booth and Brennan Ever Be Together?

Let’s do this thing!

1. Why Hannah said no to Booth’s proposal.

Besides the fact that the show is called BONES, I think there is still a validity in looking at why she said no. Honestly…as a female watching, I can’t imagine saying no. If his proposal came out of nowhere (and it sort of did), then I kinda thought her rejection did too. I’m not saying it wasn’t genuine, and I do believe her when she said she’s not the marrying kind. But really…when Seeley Booth says he loves you…that he wants you to be his wife and he opens a small velvet box…how is no even in the picture? It would be one thing for her to say yes and then have doubts later…but this initial rejection, it shocked me. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want them to be engaged, and hearing the word ‘wife’ trip from Booth’s lips about gave me a heart attack, metaphorically and literally. I was fine with him saying he loved her, even that he wanted to marry her. But the word ‘wife’…for some reason, to me that was really permanent.

There’s been a lot of talk about how Rebecca and Hannah both rejected Booth because it was right for ‘them’, but Brennan rejected Booth’s advances because she felt she was PROTECTING him. Josh alludes to that in his article, saying…

As mad as I was at Bones for turning down Booth, at least she was motivated by the notion that she was just incapable of being what he needed—a frustrating, but not entirely selfish decision.

And I have to agree with that. It was frustrating, but not selfish. With Hannah, we had about 9 episodes vs the 99 episodes we had of Brennan and Booth storyline, so it’s not exactly fair to weigh both situations against one another. And unfortunately, most of the Hannah storyline was focused on her (alleged!) similarities to Brennan rather than her compatibilities with Booth.

2. Is it Sweets’ Fault that Agent Booth Keeps Getting His Heart Broken?

Um…well, no. But Sweets is not entirely innocent in the entire deal. It’s time for Sweets to learn that his words have meaning. Is he responsible for the actions of people who are not himself? No. No one really is. To pin that kind of blame is a slippery slope of a game that leads nowhere fast. However, it is time that the character of Sweets get ironed out a little bit. He’s not the therapist any longer, but he’s not exactly a friend either. Whether or not you feel he is professional (I lean toward NOT), what really sort of gets me riled up is the way he doesn’t seem to have to account for his words of friendship.

Look, I’m not saying Sweets has to be perfect…I’m just saying that for the most part, other characters make mistakes on the show and then have to account for them. With Sweets, not so much. I don’t think his drunken declaration that he doesn’t want to end up 40 and alone (a la Booth) is responsible for Booth’s proposal of marraige to Hannah. However, it will annoy me if nothing comes of the Booth/Sweets dynamic from this. I was royally annoyed in the 101st episode when it seemed as if Sweets knew what had happened between B&B. I don’t want to blame Sweets; however, he should see that as a friend, Booth took his words to heart. Booth’s actions are Booth’s responsibility. But Sweets can learn that his words have meaning, whether Booth will admit it or not. Pal Smurfs and I talked about this the other day; Booth might be convinced that Sweets thinks he’s the shiz, and once that happened, Booth took on responsibility for making sure it stayed that way. Once Booth realized there was something important that Sweets DIDN’T admire in him, he sought to reconcile that immediately…so as not to disappoint Sweets.

Did Sweets cause Booth to botch a proposal? No. Does Sweets need to learn that his words and actions have meaning outside of himself? Yes.

3. Final Thoughts on Daredevil in the Mold:

(Okay, okay…you know me, and you know it’s not LIKELY that these are my final thoughts on the matter, but for the sake of mirroring Josh’s post, I’m going with it 🙂 )

 We talked earlier this week about how I wanted to see a fight between Booth and Brennan. Not a mean fight, but just some genuine honesty…some words out on the table. And we sort of got that here in this episode. We’re going to talk a LOT more about this on Wednesday, but for now, I’ll just say that I was really pleased with what Booth revealed. Some of you so correctly pointed out that a B&B fight wasn’t realistic as it would mean they became vulnerable with one another and also opened up the idea of losing their partnership. It was fascinating to me that Booth did exactly both of those things (BONES THEORY READERS ARE SMART! WOO!). He was mad and hurt and he said so…probably for one of the first times in his life, or at least for many, many years. Brennan didn’t yell in return, probably because she could see that he was drunk and not thinking rationally. I’m still hoping she’ll get her turn eventually, and that they will continue to hash things out.

 4. Will Brennan and Booth ever get together?

Yes. Yes they will! There are some who feel as if the fact that Booth proposed marraige to Hannah means Brennan is now the consolation prize, but I have to disagree. Hannah is still the rebound. Booth sort of alludes to this at the beginning of his proposal when he tells Hannah that at the time he met her, he didn’t think he’d ever find anyone else. And I think it’s also important to take note of Booth’s ‘next level’ with both Hannah and Brennan. For him, marraige was the next step with Hannah…from boyfriend (live in lover, whatever) to marraige. For Brennan, he offered her ‘a different outcome’. I see that as evidence that there was nothing in between boyfriend/husband for Booth in terms of Hannah, but with Brennan, he understood that she wasn’t interested in marraige necessarily…he just wanted them to give it a shot…whatever that looked like. He understood that ‘the in between’ is everything between Brennan and himself. Though they seem similar in some ways, there are quite a lot of differences between the Booth/Hannah relationship and the Booth/Brennan relationship. But like we talked about on Friday, they are back to being ‘just partners’. Of course, we know that they were never ‘just’ anything, and so it will be interesting to see what happens there. It’s not a series reset, as the characters have a lot of history to contend with. If they try to do the exact same thing over and over and expect different results, they will go insane.

What we’ll see when B&B get together is ‘a different outcome’. I’m not sure what that will all entail, but I’m excited for it.

Peace, Love & Bones,

~S

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31 thoughts on “Two’s Company-Three’s a Crowd: A Female Perspective on the Brennan/Booth/Hannah Triangle

  1. Although I agree that Booth is a free agent and has made some decisions that turned out badly, I feel that Sweets has undue influence on Booth. Booth doesn’t have a lot of friends. He sort of adopted Sweets as a baby brother and considers him a friend. When Sweets gives an opinion about something in Booths life, Booth listens. When Booth heard Sweets talk about Booth being so old and unmarried, this just played on Booth’s fears. Booth wants to be married. He loves the idea of being with someone for the rest of his life. He had found Hannah after Brennan said no and he had made Hannah his marriage project. Like you said, first boyfriend, then move in lover, the next step would have logically been marriage. I think Booth had planned on working for awhile on his project; but drunken Sweets talking to drunken Booth caused Booth to push up his plans to propose marriage to Hannah. Even Hannah said she thought she would have more time. I sort of think that Hannah knew that Booth was working on a marriage project with her and she was just waiting to see if he would follow through with it. She said Booth was not listening when she said she was not the marrying kind; but, I think he was listening. He just thought she would change her mind. After all, she had already made big consessions with her life by moving to D.C. and taking a boring job she didn’t like just to be near Booth. Then she moved in with him even though she said she was a nomad and didn’t believe in settling down. This was evidence to Booth that Hannah may reconsider marriage. His project failed. He is angry and hurt. Sweets should at least aknowledge that he may have been the catalyst that pushed Booth to hurry up his proposal. No doubt the outcome would have been the same; but, maybe Hannah would have had time to come up with a plan for when Booth asked her. I like Sweets. I just wish he would consider who he is talking to when he talks to Booth.

    Your right about the fight. A one sided fight is not a fight. Brennan was correct in how she handled Booth in the bar. He was angry. He needed to be angry. He is like a simmering volcano. He has let his emotions lay dorment for a long time. He tries to control himself and seems to internalize most of his anger. For once, he let other people know how he felt. He let Brennan know that he is angry with her and everyone else that have told him no. Once he sobers up, he will also realize that he is better stuff than his Dad and should stop worrying about it. Booth’s anger was cold and verbal. His father was hot and violent. That should be a relief to Booth. He is not his father. He can learn from that.

  2. About Hannah rejecting Booth…
    After the 100th a lot people considered that in a way it was Booth’s fault because he didn’t choose the best way of doing it. I thought that it was absurd. While I agree that it wasn’t the best way, they know each other. They really know each other. And Brennan knew what he was offering and she knew the situation. The result would have been the same, because she had the answer planned already.
    In Hannah’s case, I think it played a big part the fact that he didn’t choose the best way of doing it. I mean, she doesn’t want to get married, and she is just talking about having a fun time, and she isn’t done arriving yet. He could have waited a little longer into the night… Not making it feel so rushed and out of place. If it had happened to me I probably would have started running.
    I also think that Hannah didn’t really love him. I mean, she could have, but not deeply and really. If it was like that, she would have said yes, even if she was not the marrying kind. When you are madly in love, you change your mind about things like that. It happened to me.
    In any case, Hannah is gone. And I am happy =)

  3. Sarah I seem to be I’m in complete agreement with everything you wrote here.

    The thing with the why Hannah said not to Booth…I just keep going back to when she was first moving in with Booth and Brennan told her that Booth would give everything in him to the relationship and not to go forward with it if she couldnt’ to the same (paraphrasing there as I can’t remember the exact words) and Hannah still moved ahead with the relationship, even knowing she’d never be able to marry him, because she’s “not the marrying kind”. She may have told him over and over again that she’d never marry, but her actions were telling him something different; at least from his perspective. Now of course Booth is old enough that he should realize that just because you want something to be a certain way doesn’t make it so, and if someone insists, repeatedly that they aren’t getting married maybe you should beleive them!

    On Sweets I think you said it perfectly! Booth is responsible for his own actions, but Sweets needs to learn that his comments do have an impact and to gauge his words. Especially as a therapist, and with someone he’s had that therapist relationship, even if they are in a friendship setting.

    You’re right that was Booth’s side of that fight you were asking about! I think it’ll do some good. While Brennan did turn him down in the 100th to in her view spare him the pain that Hannah just inflicted on him, I don’t think she ever realized just how much she hurt him then…even after the Doctor in the Photo and her revelation, and pain in that ep. This episode allowed him to reveal that to her, and I do hope that someday (and not too far down the road from now) she’ll get to express her half of that fight.

    Yep, Booth and Brennan will get together at some point. If not, if this show ends and they still aren’t together there just may be rioting in the streets and marches on Fox studios demanding a movie to wrap them up and give us that B&B together. 😉 And while I think with Brennan, Booth may be able to accept less than marriage. That just being in a commited relationship with Brennan would be enough; she now knows how important that really is to him, and will have a very good reason to get married. Maybe even be the one to propose to him. The poor guy has to be extremely gunshy by know and the only way would be for the woman to propose.

    • Re: Brennan proposing. I would love to see that very scenario for the reasons you have given. It would show so much growth on both their parts for him to accept long timer commitment without marriage and for her to commit to marriage b/c with Booth it would not have the negative connotations she attributes to it, and it’s important to him. And after two strikes, I don’t see Booth ever proposing again

    • Such a good point about Hannah’s saying no. As one half of me was dancing a jig at her rejection, the other half of me was crying for Booth, and at first, it was actually a little bit hard for me to specifically be upset with Hannah for hurting him. I mean, Booth was crazy-hasty, drunk when he made the decision, and totally jumped the gun, and somehow at least we knew she “wasn’t the marrying kind.” (did anyone else think that was kind of a cop-out way to say no? sheesh.) So at first, my attitude was that I felt so awful for Booth’s pain, but you know what, he did it to himself. But you make a great point here. Let’s assume Hannah did repeatedly say out loud, with words, that she wasn’t the marrying kind–I don’t think she even really did that, but for the sake of argument. Let’s say she was 100% vocally clear with him that she was not the marrying kind. She could say a million times that she wouldn’t marry, but you move in with a man, play house with him, befriend his child (boy, that makes me angrier than I realized, Hannah hitting it off with Parker), get to know his friends, his people–you’re telling him you want to build a life with him. And yes, maybe in some cases, building a life doesn’t mean marriage. But if Hannah knew Booth at all, she would know that building a life with him had best include that. So either she knew that and selfishly disregarded it as she pursued a relationship with him, or she never really knew him at all.

      Either way, I say good riddance. She didn’t deserve him, and I don’t think that’s just my Booth/Brennan shipper heart speaking. Regardless of Brennan and Booth’s eventually, even if Brennan weren’t a possibility anymore, Hannah wouldn’t deserve Booth. He went into this believing he was getting his 30, 40, 50 years worth of love from her, and there’s just no way she’d be in it for that. Not if her rejection was based only on “I’m not the marrying kind.” To me, that translates to, I might not want to stick around–sorry. And that’s not good enough for Booth. He deserves those 30, 40, 50 years.

  4. The Gravedigger wasn’t entirely wrong about Sweets. He is a crappy therapist, and in this episode, he was also a crappy friend. Sweets’ lack of accountability goes all the way back to the “Booth’s fake death” debacle. I would love to see someone (Brennan, I think), make Sweets acknowledge how his actions have so adversely affected those around him. Booth is responsible for his own actions, but Sweets showed an astonishing lack of insight throughout this episode.
    I don’t particularly want to see a fight between B/B, just some honesty, and that’s what we got from Booth last episode. I was really impressed with how Brennan handled herself with him. She understood that he just really needed to vent and she didn’t become defensive even when he said some things that were hard to hear.

    About the “just partners”, in Booth’s mind, they have been work colleagues (except for that one out of place scene in Sin/Sisterhood) since his return from Afghanistan. To me, he was affirming to Brennan that he would still be that, but that is all he is capable of being.
    Will they ever get to together? Yes! In the last 10 minutes of the series.

  5. I know that ultimately Booth is responsible for Booth, but oh man do I ever hate Sweets. I’ve hated him ever since he decided not to tell Brennan about Booth’s fake death, just because he wanted to observe how she’d react.

    He basically did the same thing in the 100th – he manipulated B&B by throwing out a key piece of information to see how they’d react.

    I doubt we’ll ever see it on the show, but I’d love it if Brennan told Booth about Sweets’ experiment on her, and cautioned Booth that Sweets has a scientific agenda beyond being their friend and an FBI shrink.

  6. can someone answer me this? Booth and Brennan know that if they date they won’t be able to work together anymore. So what if Drunk Booth really gave Brennan three options? a) We are just partners. Nothing more. Ever. b) You want more out of this relationship, but not everything (because he knows how she feels about marriage based on her comments in vegas) plus I wouldn’t be able to take it when you eventually break my heart (based on every single past relationship from the two of them we have seen) so I’m refusing to work with you and I’m sticking you with a new agent. and then there’s c) Well, you want more out of our relationship, I still love you, let’s get together. I mean, you’ll have to get a new FBI Liason, but we’ll finally be able to date and get married and all that good stuff.

    Am I the only one who thinks this?

    • I’m not sure what I think about the three options part, but personally, I think the “FBI won’t let us work together” excuse is BS. Hacker sidestepped it easily enough when he and Brennan dated at the end of last season. Personally, I think when the time comes, the writers will “magically” find a way around it.

      • I think if Brennan to told the FBI that if she can’t work with Booth, she won’t work with the FBI anymore, it would put a stop to the “FBI won’t let us work together excuse”. The FBI considers Brennan a valuable asset and would bend over backwards to make sure that she continued to work for and with them. No way would the FBI interfer with Booth and Breannan if they thought they would lose Brennan. The Jeffersonain couldn’t force her to work with the FBI if she didn’t want to either. I am pretty sure she can quit and work anywhere she wants and they know it.

      • Agreed on the BS. Even outside of our love for the characters, we’re made to believe that the rest of the show-world agrees that Booth and Brennan make a phenomenally successful team. Any smart deputy-director would allow them to continue working together. And especially if it’s Hacker–he likes Booth already, and despite his interest in Brennan, I’ve always believed he would be the type to graciously step aside and let fate have her way, haha.

  7. Okay… Thank you for calming me down with this article, because I read his two articles first, and they made me nailspittingly mad (and I don’t even care if that’s not a word. I’m serious, there was actual growling going on over here), and not because I don’t agree with him, because I do on some points.
    What makes me boil here is how he talks about the women.
    First he partly enjoys having Brennan suffer for being “dumb” to refuse Booth, and in the next article he “hates” Hannah now for being selfish (because apparently accepting a proposal is something a woman has to do for the man’s happiness and to keep him from being hurt, what she wants herself doesn’t matter) and Brennan is being “ridiculous”, unwilling, and “hopeless”.
    These articles are not a “Male perspective”imo, they are a one-sided defense of what the writer thinks is/should be Booth’s point of view.

    On this site there are a lot of women who on an almost daily basis try to pick Booth’s brain to try to understand how he feels, why he does what he does, what hurts him, and how he got emotionally damaged in the past. I have occasionally rolled my eyes (in a very affectionate way 🙂 ) about that in the past, but no more! I have learned my lesson! Much worse than people who tend to always look at the feelings of the other sex, are people who only care about their own. So if I have ever been snarky about all the Booth!love and Booth!swooning going on here, then I apologize.

    However, it does make me sad that apparently when a man is watching a romantic relationship, what he cares about is how the guy is doing. And when women watch a romantic relationship, what most of them care about is how the guy is feeling.
    We live in a so called modern world here, but people who make fun of feminism, really need to keep their mouths shut. Because it seems that it really is all about the guy.
    I do like this article, so I’m sorry for being a bit bitter. Female perspectives rule!

    • Huh. I did not have anywhere near that reaction with his article. In fact, I felt he was pretty spot on (although, ultimately I still disagree that Booth and Brennan are not right for each other . . . I think they really are in very important ways).

      To be fair, I did not consider Gray’s remarks to be slights against women, but of the character’s actions in the current contexts. And also to be fair, here are some quotes he made of Booth – describing him as easily influenced, “impatient” and emotionally blinded:
      “one could also argue that Booth is way too easily affected by the power of suggestion”
      “but he can’t act on these urges without really thinking them through just because he’s impatient.”
      “tends to be blinded by emotion and can only blame himself for things continually blowing up in his face.”

      While I will agree that Gray does not have my shared view of Brennan (I do think he might be missing what Booth sees in her . . .ie: the soft side), I have never felt that his views reflected women as a whole in these 2 posts that I have read of his.

  8. I have to agree with you Sarah, I would have not said NO, if Booth asked me to marry him ha,ha,ha.
    But Hannah did and in my eyes it looks like that she knows and admitted it that Booth is the marrying type. So saying no was her only option. I don’t think she really loved him that much, all she wanted was “a good time” and she wished she had more time of it. Having a good time in a marriage is not everything, there are hard time too and would she be able to handle those? Brennan on the other hand has shown us lots of time how to handle not so pleasant times, but what I think also in a relationship is that you have topics to talk about (looks like Brennan and Booth never run out of it.)
    With Hannah I saw hardly anything of this; of course they had sex to fill up their free time. But Brennan would be a great physical partner also; she always said she liked sex.
    I am a bit disappointed in Sweets, that he said nothing about Brennan, when Booth told him that he will propose to Hannah. Did he forget her in his drunken head or did he finally stopped bugging Booth with her. I wish he would have said something; at least it might have stopped Booth in his action, even for a few seconds and he might have not gone through with it.
    Now, here is poor Brennan taking all the brunt of Booth anger about his 3 failed attempts and she was who in my opinion the one with the real reason to deny him at the time, because it came so suddenly, she had no time to collect her feelings towards him. There were signs, that he liked her, but he never
    actual said that he loved her and really he was not asking her to marry him, he wanted a shot at their relationship and even if he said:”I am the guy I know from the beginning, I want 30.40.50 years,” a simple saying like “I love you!” would have probably made the difference, who knows. Booth gave Cam in the “Sin in the Sisterhood” advises to try at least 9 times, but he was going to move on right away. But he actual did not; he tried a few more time until say said goodbye at the airport.
    When he asked Rebecca he probably had a ring and she know that he loved her, because they were in a relationship and she was pregnant and with Hannah we know that he said several times that he loves her. But of course saying I love you is not always what you think it means, it is a sentence which is overused, but still…..!
    I still think Brennan and Booth will get together later
    ( more now then later) on down the road and they will be happy. Booth wants’ a simple life. A wife he can love and loves him, children, a home and a Flat Screen TV. And Brennan has changed so much, she is not only the scientist anymore. She started to be domestic too, cooking for her friends and Booth saw how great she was with Baby Andy, thing he appreciates very much, since he said family dinners are very important and harmony in a household too. Both of them have missed this in their life so far.
    Finally: “Go Brennan and Booth, we are all rooting for you!”

    • Sweets this season has been the most confusing to me. I can’t get a handle of his intentions. In the beginning scene of the last episode, Sweets was even more wasted than Booth, so maybe in a more sober state he wouldn’t have said what he said, even though what he said was pretty true. I can’t blame Sweets here for Booth’s rash decision to propose, because Sweets mind was totally on his Daisy and wasn’t suggesting that Booth do anything. I’m actually glad he didn’t bring up Brennan again if only to prevent yet another time for Booth to proclaim how well he’s moved on from her.

      I agree about Brennan taking the brunt of the anger when she deserves it the least. But I’ll give Booth his time for anger. He definitely has his faults, but perfection is not required for a relationship. I think he considers himself a good guy, or he tries really hard to be one. I am shocked at how he shut Hannah out cold, but he just got his blinders taken off. Here he is, moving on, in his mind getting over a “failed” relationship with Brennan. He finds somebody he thinks he wants to take the next step with, but when she says no, he’s back to the same place. That’s frustrating, and I don’t doubt he’s probably angry at himself, too. Let’s just hope he can see how things went wrong and not make the same mistakes again.

      I also don’t begrudge Booth wanting to get married, though he tends to get caught up in the idea of it. I think it’s a double standard to tell him that he has to settle for something less when most of us wouldn’t advise a woman who wants to marry to stay with a man who doesn’t want to marry. I think he needs that stability. Come to think of it, that stability would be good for Brennan, too 😉 After all, they were married in Booth’s coma dream inspired by Brennan’s book. Also, even though Booth doesn’t know it yet, Brennan now thinks marriage is something you need a reason to enter in to, and she hasn’t found that reason. If she found that reason, could she say yes?

      I could go on a mini-tirade of all the things I think Booth has done wrong, but I don’t believe that Booth is past the point of being forgiven. I believe in patience, forgiveness, grace, mercy, and redemption. Apparently, so does Brennan, and that’s what really counts.

      • I thought it was so impressive of Brennan to just sit and be with him when, like you say, she’s getting the brunt of his anger when she deserves it least. For probably most of us, if we were put in a situation like that, we would automatically know, “hey, our friend is hurting, we should let him ramble,” and it wouldn’t be any big deal. But for Brennan of all people to intuit that on her own was super impressive in my opinion. Just another fantastic little bit of growth layered on this season. Her character development is just blossoming like crazy right now, and I’m loving it. I’m specifically thinking of parallels with the scene from Tough Man in the Tender Chicken, that we just read a study on a couple weeks back, where she can’t figure out what to do with Angela without Booth’s help. To see her just knowing exactly what to be for Booth at that moment was really great I thought.

        And as far as the marriage issue–interesting thought about the double standard. Personally, I don’t believe we can equate Booth holding out for a relationship with Brennan with a woman hanging on to a commitment-phobic man. I’ve always thought there’s no way the writers would’ve harped so much on the “antiquated ritual” spiel all the time if they didn’t mean for part of the endgame, at least in theory, to be marriage. They’ve little by little, super slowly started warming Brennan up–the needing a reason speech comes to mind as being a little bit warmer–and I really think she’ll come through for Booth with the marriage thing. I mean, if I ever had any doubt, I certainly don’t now.

        Booth may never have let himself hope that their relationship might include marriage one day, but we’ve all seen what a weakness he has for Brennan. There’s honestly no end to the exceptions he makes for her, which on one hand, the way we’ve seen things play out in the past, is really sad. But I believe 110% that there’s a day coming soon when he won’t need to make exceptions for her, even if he would, and marriage is a huge one of those exceptions she won’t force him to make for her, not after seeing him like this.

      • To clarify myself, the double standard issue was more a general statement in defense of Booth. If anything I would apply it to Booth and Hannah. It’s different for Brennan (when is it not?)

  9. I’m just going to throw out here that if you feel you have it in you, perhaps you can go ahead and comment on Gray’s article, as well, as a return courtesy (after reading it first, of course!). And sign your comment with your same username, here. 😉

  10. Although I like Sweets’ character, I have paradoxically always found him to be highly annoying. He’s incredibly smart, but in tandem with his high immaturity level this is often deadly, especially where Booth is concerned. I’m not entirely sure where he is with the whole B/B thing; I’m not sure he knows either. He half worships them and half sees them as something on a petri dish that needs to be studied further. He unconsciously likes to manipulate them, and I think this feeds into how smart he thinks he is. I would have hoped that by now he would have stopped treating them like a high school science experiment but I see this hasn’t really stopped yet, which makes him a very untrustworthy ally. He’s also a shipper, which combined with his personal knowledge of them and lack of life experience makes for dangerous advice. It’s not that he’s malicious, just horribly negligent. Let’s just say that Gordon Gordon he is not.

    Of course, I don’t technically blame him for either the 100th or the Hannah proposal; it was Booth who spoke up both times. But in both cases he felt challenged by Sweets, an immature reaction to be sure, but not wholly unexpected given Booth’s low self-esteem and impulsive personality. Sweets may not have been the immediate cause of either debacle but I’m still not letting him off the hook because both times his words were careless and damaging. And it doesn’t matter to me that Booth may have acted on his own eventually.

    Here’s the thing: Brennan is whip-smart and a pro at the rationality thing that is Sweets’ territory, so she can out-maneuver him in that department any day. She knows when she’s being played, probably because alll those years in foster care made her look very carefully at people’s intentions and question their motives. She’s inherently distrustful, whereas Booth, ironically given his past, is not. Despite Booth’s abusive background, I think that when Pops stepped into the picture he was like a lifeboat that Booth clung onto, trusting him implicitly; he had to in order to survive. I believe that when Booth feels that someone cares for him in any way he holds onto them for dear life (hence Hannah) and doesn’t question their intent. And yes, he’s the instrinct guy, who can normally read people like a book, but here’s the truth about Booth that Brennan already knows: when people give to him, he gives back completely and without reserve. In this way he is truly child-like, and I find this quality very appealing. Cue to the scene in Foot in the Foreclosure when Brennan’s mouth drops in shock at Booth’s declaration that he’ll put his job on hold to take care of Pops even though he can’t afford to. In Booth’s book, when someone loves you, you do anything for that person to prove your love to them, and I mean anything. Including taking a bullet for them if you have to. These aren’t just words to him, he really means it. Booth’s amazing people-reading superpowers only work when he turns them on, usually during an investigation or when he’s helping someone out. That radar is never ever turned on when he’s with people he trusts. That’s why he’s invariably surprised and crushed when those same people seemingly turn on him, as Hannah did. He didn’t see Sweets’ deception in the faux death not because he’s gullible but because he simply wasn’t expecting something like that from someone so close to him. And remember his shock when Brennan implied he was a loser. He’d expect that from an ungrateful Jared, but from her? Not possible.

    Now I know that Sweets was drunk in the bar, but as someone privy to a lot of deeply personal information about the guy he’s sitting next to, I would also appreciate more professionalism from him, drunk or not. He knows intimately how Booth questions his worth, so he calls him a loser? That made me very mad. I think the boy has a lot of growing up to do, starting with putting a filter between his mouth and his mega-brain. Other than that little quibble, I like Sweets a lot.

    As to B/B? No way it’s not happening. I won’t even let myself go there. Go faith! (Does it explain things to know that I’m a Cubs fan? There’s always next year…)

    • I think you hit Booths’ problem with listening to Sweets square on the head. Or maybe I should say you hit a homerun with that one.

  11. Dear Joshua ,
    I read your 2 articles.” Why Agent Booth belongs with Hannah” and “A Male Perspective of the Bones/Booth/Hannah Triangles.”
    I agree with a lot of things you write, but I also think that Bones has changed so much, and even if she is not perfect, I disagree with you, that she is not soft and human. She is a person who is constantly trying to learn new things, so her life can be more fulfilling. She wants to be the heart person and she has shown so many times, that her heart takes over the brain. But for this she needs Booth, she trusts him so much and if he tells her what to do, she listens. She really did not have anybody to help her grow up when her parents left and the pain of that has left her somewhat disabled. But like I said, if you are willing to change, it can be done and she proves it.
    Hannah is in my eyes a more self-centered woman. It is what she likes and she wants. Of course she sacrificed when she left her job and came to DC, but it feels like she only wants to have a good time with a great guy until it last. You also said that Bones was one year to late to let her feelings for Booth came to the surface. But it took him almost 5 years to let her know too. What is a year, if you want to live with a person for 30,40 or 50 years. You don’t move on within 5-7 month, without trying at least 9 times, which he told Cam to do. We can’t blame Bones all the time, that she did not contact him in Afghanistan, he had a phone too.

    • Wow. Nail on the head.
      I hope Booth will realize Bones’ human side now, her self-sacrifice, and give her a chance (or 8 more…if he follows his own theories).

  12. Sarah, I’m with you on the sentiment that if Booth asked me, the word “no” would be the farthest thing from my mind. Of course, if he’d said to me what he said to Brennan in the 100th about 30, 40 or 50 years, “no” would have been the farthest thing from my mind then too, so perhaps I’m not the best control going. 😉

    I think that Booth bears a lot of responsibility for his heartache in this situation. And I don’t mean that to get down on the guy, and I’m not saying he’s not entitled to be angry at the women in his life, just that he’s a big boy and he needs to take a look at himself and his own actions. He hasn’t been completely honest with Hannah from the word go. When they were in Afghanistan, it was just them and danger around every corner. They weren’t living in the real world. Now they are in the real world, and he’s been trying hard to be perfect without ever stopping to consider that if Hannah really loves him, she’ll stick with him even if he’s not perfect; or maybe even because he’s not perfect.

    And this isn’t all on Booth. Hannah hasn’t been completely honest with him, either. Yeah, she flipped out a little back at the beginning of the season and she thought Booth was going to propose then. She didn’t listen to Brennan’s warning about Booth giving himself to her completely, and to be sure before she moved in. But after the proposal, she says “I thought we’d have more time before this.” Well, if you’re with a guy and you think he’s headed towards asking you to marry him, and you know you don’t want to, it’s time to end it; or at least have a heart-to-heart about the future and bow out before destroying each other.

    Their whole relationship has kind of reminded me of a summer romance. It’s all hot and heavy and amazing when there’s no outside pressures, but once summer is over and the real world starts creeping in, it ultimately falls apart.

  13. Why Hannah said no to Booth’s proposal:
    She said no because she didn’t want to be married to the guy, joined to him until the day she died, enduring all things in life with him.

    The other night at dinner, one of my friends posed this question to the rest of the table: Had any of us ever continued to date a guy once we knew we didn’t want to marry him? A lot of us said yes, but admitted that we had done this back in high school or college when dating was simple and casual, and marriage was the furthest things from our minds. No one had ever let a “grown-up” relationship get very far once they knew they weren’t with their “forever person.” So why would Hannah take all the steps that she did – move to DC, take a less fulfilling job, move in with Booth, connect with his son – if she knew the relationship had an expiration date? It just doesn’t make sense. I have written before that maybe Hannah thought she and Booth could commit to one another without being married, but I say that because it’s the only decent explanation I can come up with. I’m like Booth – I believe in marriage. Those who argue against marriage have never convinced me to see things their way.

    Is it Sweets’ fault that Agent Booth keeps getting his heart broken?
    No, but Sweets needs to take a step back and evaluate whether or not he’s acted responsibly lately, in either capacity – as a therapist or as a friend.

    Final thoughts on Daredevil in the Mold:
    Nothing is ever final here, right?

    But about a possible fight between Booth and Brennan. I don’t really see a fight in their future because I haven’t convinced myself of a topic over which they could disagree so strongly that it escalates into a fight and that that fight would actually accomplish anything. I appreciated how Booth was able to let go with such raw emotion in front of Brennan while Brennan listened instead of launching into her usual hyper-rational analysis.

    Will Brennan and Booth ever get together?
    Yes. Not immediately, and I’m glad for that because I’m looking forward to some more beautiful scenes along the way.

  14. Sorry, but I’m off on another tangent…

    Before I begin, I would say yes to Booth in a heartbeat any day of the week…he wouldn’t even have to buy me a ring!

    What bugs me about Sweets…and I am miffed at him…is that he’s been harping on Booth all season…trying to get him to talk about both women and making that little “Uh oh” comment after he finds out Hannah is moving in with Booth. We’ve been clearly shown that Sweets thinks Hannah is not a good thing. Yet in Daredevil, it’s like he’s forgotten all about that…and ok, maybe being a little too drunk might be a reason, but I was thinking in that scene after Booth declares he’s buying a ring, that the old Sweets would have called him out on that…questioned Booth about it, but instead, Sweets gets all excited. Hmmm…something’s not right here. Then moving on to the jewelry store scene, Booth is the one giving Sweets advice about being too young to marry. Yes…I know…Sweets looks up to Booth as a surrogate big brother and has been sounding out his thoughts about Daisy to Booth all season, but come on, Sweets is supposed to be the professional. He should start acting like one. Having worked for a psychologist, I can tell you there is a rule that you don’t become friends with your patients…it is not professional behavior (and yes, I did see this line crossed in a couple of cases, but it’s highly frowned upon).

    In the 100th in Sweets office with B&B, Sweets is all gung ho, goading Booth into taking the risk with Brennan…yet just before B&B step outside, Brennan comments, “We’re not in love.” Booth heard both Sweets and Brennan, but yet he makes the choice to go with his heart. He decides on the spur of the moment, just like he did in Daredevil, to go ahead and push the envelope anyway…with painful results. Booth, is yet again, shot down by his idealistic idea of love.

    Moving on to Hannah…she didn’t listen to Brennan when Brennan warned her how completely Booth would give of himself and Hannah should be sure moving in with him is the right thing to do. She chooses to ignore those warnings and moves in anyway…thinking, erroneously, that she and Booth will have a lot of time before Booth brings up the subject of marriage. That thinking makes her just as much to blame. Neither one of them really listened to the other, putting off the inevitable, believing one of them will change in the meantime, but it was Booth who jumped the gun and made the choice to take another gamble…go with his heart. I don’t think this makes Booth “impatient” but rather “impulsive” (part of the risk-taking gambler in Booth), which is the opposite of how he conducts himself during an investigation. In his work, he’s very calculating, intuitive and rarely, if ever, impatient or impulsive. He weighs all the evidence, together with his intuition, and is very successful in solving the crimes. So…we know that Booth is highly capable of making decisions based on these factors, yet he continually throws aside all of it when it comes to love. He sets himself up for heartache every time.

    At the end of Daredevil, Booth may be unloading all his anger on Brennan…which he probably wouldn’t have if she hadn’t shown up at the bar, cause after all, he didn’t invite her there…but in his state of mind, he’s ranting more to himself out loud…all these thoughts flooding his mind…and he’s trying to sort them out. Now…let’s cut Booth some slack. He may be impulsive and idealistic, but who has he hurt the most? Himself. He is angry at the women, but when it’s all said and done, he ultimately blames himself…and admits it. He doesn’t understand, but he concludes the fault must come from within. This is his first step to healing and recovery. Remind anyone of AA? First you admit that you have a problem. What Booth does with this knowledge now is the question…and how Brennan helps him through this (sponsor, anyone?) will determine how he approaches love in the future.

  15. I guess I’m one of the those that saw nothing wrong in Booth’s 30, 40, 50 speech to Brennan or how he proposed to Hannah. Most of season 5 was leading up to that moment between B&B … Bones knew exactly what he was saying. The question didn’t blind side her…maybe the timing of it did coming out of Sweet’s office but the subject matter was one she’d apparently thought about as we find out when she says…he was the one needing protection from her. This told me she knew that at some point he would approach her in some way. Re: Hannah, he told Sweets that he had been thinking about it for a while so how was this impulsive, other than perhaps he simply ignored Hannah’s constant…I’m not the marrying kind. Is this impulsive or is he simply not living in reality? Booth’s suppose to be the intuitive one but in both instances he was unable to see or unwilling to see that these two women were resistant to the idea of love (in Bones’ case) and marriage (in Hannah’s case). Why couldn’t he see this if he is supposedly the intuitive one? Were they giving out mixed signals? Bones in how much she cared for him after his surgery in addition to their years of unexpressed sexual tension and Hannah by actually moving in with him and building a life???? In Hannah’s case….if she’d repeatedly told him she had no desire to marry then he simply ignored this thinking she would “change” her mind because of their “love”. I guess he was being a silly, blind romantic here. He was living in a fantasy world, especially given how truly selfish she turned out to be…i.e…saying she thought they’d have more time before they got to this point. That was just plain wrong…building a life with him knowing his views on marriage and wanting a family…the height of selfishness on her part. I don’t think he got mixed signals from Bones…she just wasn’t ready. His timing was off. I think I’m now seeing why people say he was impulsive because making these two bad calls in the face of the resistance these two women had towards love and marriage was basically making decisions based on bad conclusions he’d come up with about them. Unreal expectations…a fantasy world built up in his own mind…although in Bones’ case…I think it wasn’t so much unreal as just bad timing….I hope.

  16. Hannah said no because she has different life goals than Booth. She doesn’t value married life and family like Booth does — at least at this point in her life. I don’t think she entered into the relationship intending to hurt Booth or lie to him. It is just that she didn’t get it that the differences in their life goals are a deal breaker for Booth.
    Sweets is a little bit at fault. Of course Booth was free to act however he chooses, but Sweets knows that Booth’s a gambler and how he feels about marriage and love. Sweets had a responsibility as a friend and therapist to help Booth make good choices here. Clearly Sweets failed in that regard. It brings back memories of the Pain in the Heart and the 100th when Sweets also fails.
    Because Booth believes so strongly in marriage and family and has faith, he naively assumes that when it comes down to it, other people do too no matter what they say. He didn’t listen to Hannah when she said before that she wasn’t the marrying kind because, to him, saying I love you means “for better or worse”. Unfortunately, Hannah only wanted the ‘for better’ part which makes her kind of selfish in my mind.
    Will B & B ever be together? I sure think so. Brennan has grown so much this year. Once Booth sees her be there for him, he can’t help but fall for her all over again!

  17. Sarah- I love your website – thanks. I would also say yes to Booth – no ring needed, which you notice he didn’t have with Brennan either.
    I don’t get Hannah at all. I’m with Booth, why wouldn’t he think that she wants what he wants – did she know him at all? I truthfully thought that it would have been a better plot if Hannah had beat him to the punch and told him that she was leaving him for a job. Her actions really didn’t say, I’m not looking for marriage. Isn’t everyone a marrying kind unless they are so into their work. It would have been nice to see that.
    I do think that you and Josh both bring up good points. I would like to see Brennan and Booth relaxed around each other. We’ve occassionally seen it over drinks or dinner, but I’d love a scene of them hanging out doing nothing – working quietly, Bones writing while Booth watches TV. Down time. We get that they love working together, but marriage requires the quiet times and really funny times. I loved the scene where Brennan verbatim quotes Booth about the phone because it is such a girlfriend moment. I think we don’t get enough of those moments to say that they would be a great match. Despite that, I’m a total shipper!

    Of course, all Booth needs to see is Brennan hanging out with Angela’s baby or another kid and he’ll be mush again. I think he really sees it when he gets to see her protective maternal side. Of course, I really think that Brennan is going to be the one to prove to Booth that she loves him and will for 30-50 years.

  18. I enjoy your insights. I think Brennan would have been on the losing end of a fight with Booth no matter what she did in the bar. Her first comment, “Are you drunk?” is typically Brennan (or many people seeing him there) but it opens up the wounds of his father’s alcoholism and his attempts to separate himself from that kind of behavior. “Hannah called me,” brings up the elephant in the room– it explains why she’s there, but it re-opens that wound. Then “What happens next?” is either innocent (“what are you going to do now?”) or Brennan asking if there’s hope for her with him (which I don’t think she was really doing) or something in-between. Because her question mirrors Hannah’s question to Booth, Brennan cannot win; everything she’s said, innocently or not becomes a reminder of Booth’s failure. Even her presence is a reminder of what he cannot have and he very quickly sets boundaries for her.

    They need to talk. I think the partnership will be on the table when they do. It’s always been on the table, but like “love” it is only hinted at. Paradoxically, it is the thing that holds them together and keep them apart.
    Eventually, they will have to have a talk– I think it will involve some yelling (as much as anyone really yells at anyone on this show)– but it’s going to have to be honest.

    I don’t think Booth is a bad guy in how he treated Brennan– he’s angry and drunk. I don’t think Sweets is the bad guy either– but he has to know how his words affect others. He seems to be deliberate in his words with Brennan, but he doesn’t show the same kind of filter with Booth. He can’t be friend and therapist and expect Booth to be able to distinguish the two.

  19. Loved the post Sarah 😀

    First off, Hannah turning Booth down didn’t shock me. At all. Because she wasn’t saying no to Booth, she was saying no to the idea of marriage.The fact that it was Booth asking her is irrelevant. She wanted him, she didn’t want marrige. Which he knew (so you have to think on some level he has to expect the no, surely?! LOL).

    As for Sweets…man i love that boy!! Now i agree that Sweets needs to think about the consequences of his words, but he is still a young guy so he will learn. And also, part of me thinks that when it comes to Booth Sweets doesn’t think he has any effect on what he does. Booth has always kind of dismissed what Sweets has said, even when he later admits he was right. So why would Sweets think what he says has any effect on Booth? Everything before hand has suggested differently, so why would words spoken while drunk be any different? Also, i have too much respect for Booth to blame this on Sweets. If i thought Booth was someone who makes these kind of decisions based on someone elses thoughts i would think less of him…and i don’t want too! 😛

    And i kind of agree with the rest of your thoughts 😀

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