Bones Theory

Public Displays of Affection: Is the BONES Community Good For Us?


Good morning! I hope you are having a good Wednesday so far. Where I live, it’s very rainy.  Which stinks because we can’t even use the great Young Frankenstein joke, “It could be worse; it could be raining.” Of course I guess it could be SNOWING again, which would most certainly be worse.

Whenever I’m feeling like life is too gray, both outside and in, usually something like this cheers me right up.

So if you’re in need of some cheering, I hope that makes you smile at least.

It’s an interesting ‘thing’, this public BONES community, right? I’m being genuine when I say I hope that pic makes you smile, because there have been honest to goodness times when I’ll open up my email and see a quick note from a friend with a “Booth” attached, and I can smile for while after that. But sometimes, I wonder if I rely to much on the BONES community vs myself & the show. I think March 8th was the day I signed up to be a part of the BONES community at the old BoneYard on Fox’s website. Two years!

{Edit. Okay, so I did the math, and it’s been three years. I joined up in March of 2008. I’m not sure whether to laugh or be horrified that it’s been THREE YEARS! Ha!}

 That is so crazy,  because in some ways, it feels a lot longer. A LOT longer. But in other ways, I sort of blink and think, wow, two years of my life where I’ve been writing about this show. You know that feeling you get when you think, oh, I’ll never get too involved in __________. But then, months ***cough 2 years cough***, you realize there is hardly a day that goes by that you haven’t thought or done about it?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to weird anyone out. It’s just that eye opening reality when you weigh where your time goes, you know?

But let me back away from my craziness and talk about yours. Oh, snap! Hahaha, but seriously, like I mentioned in the title of this post—Is the BONES community good for us?

We’ve talked about whether or not BONES is good for us, but now I’m getting personal. Does hanging out here or on Twitter or on other forums like Bonesology or… does that help you in your love for the show, or does it make you even _________(fill in the blank, sadder, angrier, more confused).

Most of the time, for me, it makes me happier and helps in my love for the show. But there are times when I know that I’m invested at a slightly higher level than is ‘good’. I’ve met a lot of creative people and some of my best friends, and 99% of the people I’ve ‘met’ seem very cool. It’s the other 11% (in Booth’s Math World, haha) that make my eyebrows go up. Of course, I have two BONES blogs and literally hundreds if not almost thousands of pages of writing about the show under my belt, which probably puts me firmly in the 11% category!

But how about you? When did you ‘join up’ in the BONES community? Has it made you happier, or do you find that it’s easier to get swept up in too much passion and/or negativity?  What’s our motivation? To be right? To be heard the ‘loudest’? To be known as super negative? For me, when I find myself trying to ‘prove’ something, it usually comes back in a negative way. Basically, unless what I write, tweet, say, etc isn’t out of love (usually for the show, or a person), it’s sort of like clanging cymbals.

I don’t mean to be harsh, but I think sometimes it’s easier to be a clanging cymbal than a fan. Oh, snap! What is happening! I’ll have to induct myself into the Steel Ovaries club, haha.

Okay, I’ll stop soon. But seriously, I think it’s something to consider. I’m talking to myself, as well, of course. I don’t want to be competitive or territorial about BONES, but I am. I have to watch that…in public.

Okay, there’s one thing that I WOULD like to claim as mine, and that’s this…


But other than that, we pretty much can all get along.

Thoughts from you? Do you even want to speak to me any more?

Peace, Love & Bones



51 thoughts on “Public Displays of Affection: Is the BONES Community Good For Us?

  1. This is the only Bone Site I check out and respond to. It tried a few others; but, the people were so rude and insane that I began to worry that maybe I was involved with a show that draws crazy people. THEN, I found this website and sanity seemed to rule here. I have only ever bothered to look into what people thought about a show one other time (LOST) and the people that followed that show were very creative. Here I find an outlet for creativity also. The people that write here are very good at expressing themselves. There are one or two people who seem to be overly negative but all in all most of the people who write here are very positive about Bones. That is important to me as it is my favorite show. When Lost went off the air I wasn’t really attached to any other show. I had just started watching Bones and was still learning about the show. Then, I started looking around to see what people were writing about Bones and I really got restless. I liked the show; but, all I could find were people who were either angry about Brennan or angry about Booth or both. I stumbled across Bones Obsession and then found your site. Sanity rules here and I really appreciate it. I have been visiting your site for just a few months; but, have really enjoyed the mostly positive views of so many fans. For this, I say, THANKS.

  2. Hi, my name is Monica & I am hopelessly addicted to the Bones community. Not sure when my obsession took hold but it’s been a while. I love reading peoples opinions and have found wonderful people who are just like me :). I know the show might not always make me happy, but my twitter friends always help. And I must say, those pics make me smile too

  3. Many Bones communities are very unhealthy, but not this one. This is the one site that actually talks creatively and intelligently about Bones instead of just whining about it. Other Bones sites I’ve been to make me feel like I’m in a psycho land. This one brings back nostalgic memories of English class. It’s fun to objectively analyze something that everyone in the community has seen and analyzed and try to see what it means. That’s what a good high school English class is like, and those just don’t happen anymore when your a pre-med movement science major at a big university. This site is healthy for me because it gets me thinking analytically about something besides science, therefore keeping that part of my brain alive. I’m very thankful for it, you guys do a great job!

  4. Oh yes, that picture makes my heart flutter. Love it!

    As far as whether or not the Bones community is good for us (or rather, are we good for it?!?) – I think that’s a fair question. Like Lenora, I don’t really hang out on any other Bones fan sites because I can’t take the negativity (and quite honestly, I don’t have the time). I still check out the Bones Spoilers Blog (and I’ll read articles and things about Bones) and I read your awesome reviews on GMMR, but I’ve almost exclusively stopped reading fan comments on any other site but here. Quite frankly, the negativity makes me angry and it’s just not worth it. I don’t need to be that stressed out over a television show.

    I am drawn to Bones Theory for two reasons: 1) ya’ll don’t mind that I have a near obsessive need to think about Bones, to theorize, and to try and find meaning in just about everything (and in fact, many of you who post here have that very same need) and 2) for the most part, people here try to look at the bright side of the issue. We’re not sunshine and rainbows all the time (even though we are occasionally criticized for being too nice), but for the most part, we know how to discuss and debate issues in a civilized manner (without insulting actors, writers, showrunners, etc) and that makes every difference in the world (at least it does to me).

    I think I’ve gone through every range of obsessed since I first found the online Bones community after the 100th episode (good grief, has it been almost a year already?!?). I’ve been in the 99% and I’ve been in the 11% and I think, for me at least, I’m best off when I fall somewhere in between (is that even mathematically possible?).

  5. Happy two year anniversary Seels! You know I enjoy ‘talking’ to you…even though I know that I’m really only interesting as the token Aussie in most of the BONES communities that I hang around….

    My own ‘debut’ into the BONES community was eleven months ago…I started watching the show seven months prior to that. I started writing about BONES and found that I couldn’t stop – by the time I reach my first anniversary next month, I’ll have clocked up around 500,000 words for the year – Yes! Half-a-million words…not all of them published. As to whether those words were worth writing is a matter of opinion…and a good chunk of them were irreverent parodies, but I’m a token Aussie; I have a reputation to maintain 😀

    I think of my relationship with the BONES community very much like the one that I have with my job; it’s complex, fun, exciting, full of surprises and passionate discussion – for the most part, I enjoy it immensely, some days I just want to stay the heck away. Like you and many other of my BONES pals, I’ve made friends…good friends – this is surprising to me, because I don’t make friends easily…but we share a common interest (fanaticism?) in a great story. I have a stressful job and a full life, but I can have fun with my BONES pals…it’s cheap and satisfying…with absolutely no calories 😀

    I’ve been hanging out on Twitter since last May…in those heady days when Hart Hanson was Grand Poobah of the Steel Ovaries Club and used to joke and snark with the online fans…Good times! I tweet a fair bit, and when BONES is screening in the US, I take an early lunch hour on my Friday morning and follow the East Coast screening of new episodes…those initial reactions (& overeactions!) are a lot of fun to follow. In my free time, I moderate over at Bonesology – it is a veritable oasis of calm in the BONES fandom…I find the bigger, more commercialized communities are awash with trolls and folks freaking out – if I wanted to waste my time, I could just go and stand at the Triage desk of our busy Emergency Department for a little ‘real life’ drama. Bonesology is chock full of smart & thoughtful people, who get a kick out some intelligent discourse and analysis…but most importantly, the members respect each other. I know this post is looking like product placement, but I’m proud to be associated with this group.

    Yes, I hang out at Yes, I have posted a couple of pieces…not sure if what I write makes any sense…or if anyone cares…it’s just a bit of fun and blowing off steam 🙂 Why do I do it? I just want to make people smile or even laugh…to enhance their enjoyment, nothing more.

    Crazy Token Aussie – checking out of the BT Looney Bin (until next time!)

  6. I think a community is good for you if you let it be good for you. We are only in control of ourselves, and that is hard to accept, sometimes. An online community means I have even more control than usual. On Twitter I can choose who I follow – I can choose to block followers (thank heavens I’ve never felt a need to block any #BONES followers!!). I can choose which forums I participate in.

    The harder part, of course, is “choosing” how I will respond to different things. As I’ve talked about before, I can certainly be affected emotionally by the fandom – which is not necessarily in my control, but how I choose to deal with those emotions and reactions, is. Unlike “real life” – I can shut down the virtual world if I need or want to.

    If this blog is touted as being too upbeat, too positive, too “pro-Booth” – I’m okay with that because this is fiction, this is entertainment. Entertainment need not be painful. I am pro-BONES; I find no shame in that. 🙂

    I find that I can get a little frustrated, still, with the competition of getting the perfect, “right” interpretation of something. I might be having a discussion with someone on Twitter — or observing one — and instead of saying “right” or “agreed” or similar, folks feel compelled to keep responding with definitive re-statements – the “last word”. This, of course, is not unique to the fandom, but is my own most recent challenge in choosing how to respond.

    Ultimately, I choose to stay with the online communities and find the balancing act that allows them to be “good” for me, overall. As in all things, it can’t all be cake, right?

  7. I found and joined the Bones community about 10 months ago. I can’t tell you how excited I was to find other people who were as obsessed about this show as me. Honestly I thought I had an unhealthy attachment to Bones until I joined Twitter, which is how I made my way here. Now I don’t think I am in anywhere near as deep as others lol.
    I originally looked at a few sites but soon learned which ones I enjoyed being a part of. I want to enjoy the interactions with others not get bogged down in who’s opinion is right or wrong. I don’t want to have to pick Team Booth or Team Brennan.
    So is the Bones communty good for us? – Well it is for me. I have this wonderful little world where I can squeal for joy or have a rant with others depending on how any episode of Bones makes me feel.
    As for this site – man this one always makes me think a bit harder & look a bit deeper at Bones ‘cos sometimes what I watch & what’s really going on aren’t the same thing lol!!!

    BTW I’m Team Bones all the way!!

  8. Watching Bones makes me happy and I enjoy thinking about it and wondering what’s going to happen and thinking over all the possible scenarios and thinking and working out what’s going on in these characters heads.

    There have been many times when in conversation with my closest friends (only one of whom watches Bones – the rest have no idea why I’m so obsessed with it) I find a parallel with something I’ve learned from Bones or learned how to put eloquently what I want to say because of Bones. (I’ve definitely used the ‘marks on people’ analogy, and how ‘without the risk of pain, there can be no real love’ and ‘it’s always the guy who says, I knew’. These phrases have become part of my lexicon and colour my life in a positive way.

    Sure, sometimes I retreat in my head into Bones world when I really could spend that time thinking about more practical, useful or important things, but I know I’m doing it and don’t indulge for long. It’s the same as disappearing into a book for the same reasons.

    I discovered Bones two years ago, and spent some time catching up but I never really got into forums and things. A bit of IMDB, but not dedicated Bones forums. I follow Bones related people on Twitter because they’re often the first to post new articles, interviews, spoilers etc and also because a lot of them are funny, thoughtful and interesting people. This is the only Bones blog I read but it’s become my favourite place on line. This sounds silly, but I think it’s almost like Zach and the Jeffersonian – here is somewhere where intelligent, kind, respectful and funny Bones fan have found a home. Haha cheesy, but true none the less.

    The show pretty much always makes me happy – that’s why it’s my favourite. Sure, there’s things I wish were a bit different and frustrations along the way, but my attitude is very much one of ‘enjoy the journey’. The wider Bones community with the bitchiness and negativity can sometimes momentarily annoy me or make me sad, but then I just get fierce on Bones’ behalf and either don’t bother reading it, argue my side in my head or come here for some rational happy thoughts and intelligent insights. A lot of the time, if I just forget about what things I’ve read and concentrate on my own reaction to the latest episode, I’m ok with it again.

    I also really enjoy this site because it’s like an English Literature class where we’re all experts in our field 🙂

  9. Just spotted a typo in my comment that makes it sound like I’m calling myself ‘intelligent, kind, respectful and funny’ haha oops, that won’t do. I was talking about everyone else, I promise!

    Ok, so the 4th paragraph SHOULD have read:

    I discovered Bones two years ago, and spent some time catching up but I never really got into forums and things. A bit of IMDB, but not dedicated Bones forums. I follow Bones related people on Twitter because they’re often the first to post new articles, interviews, spoilers etc and also because a lot of them are funny, thoughtful and interesting people. This is the only Bones blog I read but it’s become my favourite place on line. This sounds silly, but I think it’s almost like Zach and the Jeffersonian – here is somewhere where intelligent, kind, respectful and funny Bones fanS have found a home. Haha cheesy, but true none the less.

  10. This is the only Bones community I belong to, and by ‘belong to’ I mean, actively post responses and comments. I read and have occasionally posted on the discussion threads on the Facebook page but the level of discourse there is quite different. If there’s an episode review or interview somewhere, I’m all over it but I don’t comment.

    I really enjoy the depth of the posts and in the commenting community here. It’s more than just OMG BOOTH IS HAWT! (although, yes he is). A perfect example is the Scene Study posts. I love love love them. To catch the nuances, the fleeting facial expressions, the moments behind the moments – wow. Okay, I squee a little when I see “Scene Study” pop up in my email.

    I also appreciate how often I have the opportunity to look at a scene or character or episode with a different view than my initial reaction. I don’t always agree, but I can usually see why the writer or commenter feels that way.

    I have a confession to make – I am a Potterhead. The baby toe I stuck in the waters of the Bones-world is nothing compared to my immersion in the world JK Rowling created. But that fascination/obsession/whatever was such an outlet, so creative and fun and interesting, that I’ve wished since the publication and dissection of “Deathly Hallows” that I had something else as meaty to chew on. “Bones” is that for me, on a lesser level. Plus, it’s ongoing and changing and challenging and frustrating. Fun stuff!

    As a dyed-in-the-wool Brennanite, I do feel most of the people here are Boothers and so the other comments and opinions here are much more forgiving and understanding of his actions than I or my comments. But that also keeps me coming back, to make sure Brennan is represented and protected and championed, too.

    Brennan, baby, I gotcher back! 🙂

    • Haha! I confess to being a Boother at the moment, and I suppose I always have been. But it’s only because I feel like SOMEONE needs to stand up for him this season at times, haha! I’m only bummed that we didn’t know each other back in season four when I feel like a LOT of people were anti-Brennan. I was pro-Brennan. I’m still pro-Bren! 🙂

      As for Harry Potter…well, I’m not an expert at that 🙂

  11. I’ve been aware of the Bones fan community since I started watching the show (I watched it online from about the February or March after Santa in the Slush until Pain in the Heart, if that is any indication), but only actually “joined” it this past October/November when I found Bones Theory. In the post, I read something that made me jump up and down. I don’t even remember what it was. I think that I read something similar to what I had been thinking, and after being so frustrated with my friends that I watch Bones with thinking I’m crazy… I had to respond. I now really can’t see myself over the next year without the Bones fan community (at least, what I have cautiously selected — there are some really crazy people out there). Bones has gotten me through a lot in the past four years. Sometimes I see my part in the fan community as a way of “giving back”.

    I mean, there are negatives to this all, but I think that those negatives seem to happen on and offline. I’ve heard people say just as nasty things about the show as people online, so… I guess it comes with the territory. *shrug* And honestly… none of my friends here at school are going to listen to my ramblings about the importance of the Jeffersonian as a character and as a setting (although they read my post!).

  12. It’s so good to come to a site that is calm, reasoned, intelligent. I’ve delved into other sites but with some of them I found the vitriol and hate has become too much to take. Now, besides this site, I only frequent the Bonesology and Bones Gamblers Anonymous sites. I’ve been an ardent follower of Bones from the very start of season 1. I love because there are some incredibly talented writers over there who provide me with reading matter equal to any published novels. Am I addicted to Bones? Probably, but it’s a whole lot less dangerous than some other addictions, lol. Do I spend too much time reading, watching and ‘talking’ about Bones? Again, probably, but only after all the essential things in my life are done and sorted, honest!
    I like the whole concept of ‘community’ and being able to read and reply to other like-minded people who don’t think I’m demented or obsessed (I hope). I find out all the news, promos (I live in England so don’t get to view them otherwise) new episodes (so I can watch them early, cough) news and so on. (All this has come into being thanks to this wonderful and amazing invention called the internet.)
    And DB IS incredibly hot! Enough said!

  13. I do find the negativity of other fansites to be wearying, even though I’ve indulged in some negative thoughts about the show myself. I guess it’s the continued, unrepentant negativity that gets to me.

    Especially when we have long hiatuses; complaining about how the show isn’t doing this or that when it’s not even on the air yet just seems silly. We have nine episodes left. I’m willing to wait nine episodes to decide how I feel about season 6 overall.

    The reason I like this blog so much is that it doesn’t waste time lamenting the show as it could have been, but says “okay, let’s look at the show as it is now, and find some meaning in it.”

    Nobody liked Booth proposing, for example. But it happened. Can’t change that. So now the only thing to do really is what this blog does. Figure out how that furthers the ultimate story HH is telling.

    And as annoyed with HH as I often am, I am absolutely certain he is ultimately telling a love story. There would just not be any other point of having B/B struggle for years to reach each other if they never do. And from a more practical standpoint – how many people will buy the final season dvd if B/B never get together? Not many!

    I’m glad this is a community that believes in eventually and seeks to view each episode as a step on the path toward it.

    • “from a more practical standpoint – how many people will buy the final season dvd if B/B never get together? Not many!”

      Very Funny. You made laugh at that one. AND oh so true. I never thought about that point of view. That is actually very encouraging.

  14. “99% of the people I’ve ‘met’ seem very cool. It’s the other 11%”

    Oh my….My math geek friends and I are having a heart attack!!! It can’t be….Not possible…. :):):):)

    I enjoy your community and steer clear of most of the others. I am an avid fanfic reader and enjoy it. Do I spend too much time there? Probably! But I am enjoying the reading. The one thing I should be doing instead is my PhD work….This is my escape when I can’t handle anymore quadratics and APA formatting.

    I can’t say the community got me down over the last year. It was more the show. This blog helped me “keep the faith”. I absolutely loved the literary analysis of what is going on and I am amazed at the intelligent level of the fans.

    As with everything, too much of anything is bad. So we have to monitor ourselves.

    Any chance you will give us your fan fic name so we can read some of your old stories? I think you referenced that in a post of few days ago???? Pretty please? :):) It will help me get over the math percentages!

    • Also I have been so much happier staying away from interviews and spoilers. Sometimes they are hard to resist but I took your advice and quit looking for them. I do hear about them in the community but I don’t seek them out. Spoiler free is the way to be!!!

  15. Bones Theory is good for me…but the community, as a whole…not so much. I don’t Twitter or anything like that, so this is my only outlet for expressing my views and discussing the show…and I gotta say I don’t find I need anything more from online communities. I think we have the best of the best right here!

    Since I’ve never been this obsessed about a show before (that’s currently on TV), and I’ve never visited any fan sites for other shows, I don’t know how to compare them…but all I really need to know is that I found a home here that feeds my obsession in a fun and intelligent way…which is not something I could say about other sites. Yes, I lurked on a few…even joined one for about a month, until I realized it was toxic with negativity…and when I tried to get others to engage in creative thinking, I got nowhere…no one was even remotely interested. I admit I was highly disappointed in the fandom, in general, but realistically, most people don’t watch to analyze it…or any other show for that matter. If you’ve noticed, the most-watched TV shows pretty much spell out every single thing for you, so you don’t have to think about it. What you see is what you get. And that’s ok…but for those of us who want more, we’re lucky to have a show like Bones.

    Season five was my first season to watch as it was broadcast (I had watched seasons 1-4 on DVD), so I’m fairly new to the Bones world. I found this site through the Bones Spoilers Blog around last October…and…oh happy day…I loved it. And for the most part it’s been positive, but I find I have to even stay away from here when it turns too negative. But the problem with negativity doesn’t start or end here…it’s rampant all over the internet…and that’s sad. It’s a lack of respect, maturity and regard for other people’s feelings that bugs me to no end. I don’t believe these people are the majority…but they are the loudest, which makes them hard to avoid.

    The whole point is…there is no right or wrong in subjective thinking…it’s all a matter of opinion…and I appreciate the people on this site who understand that…but it is fascinating that we all watch the same show and come up with a myriad of differing ideas on what we see and feel. I like that…and sometimes I learn a thing or two…but mostly I’m here to share in celebrating a great show where we can observe…analyze…and deduce…in a friendly atmosphere. 😀

    To all positive-thinking Bones fans…I salute you. YOU are what brings me back to this site every day. But I have a couple of questions I hope someone can answer…

    I wasn’t around then…so I’d really like to know…was the Bones community always like this…in earlier seasons? Or is it just this season that has brought out the whiners in droves? Anyone feel it’s worse now? My feeling is this season might be worse, because for the first time, besides the fact that our fav couple isn’t together, I think the writers have put more subtext, subtle hints and hidden agendas in the episodes that weren’t there in the past…which means if you don’t look beneath the surface, you’re not going to understand what’s really going on…which leads to high levels of frustration. Am I making sense? Am I onto something here…what do you think?

    • I don’t know about the Bones community (as I have only been interested in that community for the last 6 month); but, the same thing happened during the last season of Lost. That show was complicated to begin with and towards the end, it nose dived off the deep end so a lot of people really got angry and made it hard to visit sites about the show. It worked out in the end; but, a lot of impatient people made it hard for the patient ones. That is probably what is going on now. The impatient ones are angry. They don’t get that with a little patience all be well in the end.

  16. I’ve watched Bones ever since the pilot episode originally aired, but only became active in the on-line community in the past year. I now really only visit here and Bonesology, and follow just a few Bones fans so am now managing to avoid a lot of the negativity found online. When I read articles at other sites I tend to stay away from the comments section because wow does it get mean and nasty sometimes.

    There have been times I’ve been upset with the direction of the show or the actions of the characters and it’s nice to have a place to go and read where they comments will talk me down instead of just fanning the flame of dissatisfaction.

    With spoilers often it is the fan reaction that causes problems, but I’ve also found that if the spoiler is something I really don’t want to happen on the show it’s often better if I don’t know about it beforehand because what plays out onscreen can work better for me than I ever thought it could; or at least just isn’t as bad as I feared (like the Booth revealing Bones confession to Hannah…I didn’t want it to happen, and was upset with the promo, but once it happened I was able to accept it much better than I had anticipated).

    Oh well I just want to say I’m happy this place exists. A place where I can come and have a civil discussion about this show I love and not have to constantly defend still liking it. For those who think this place is heavily weighted toward Boothy love. I have to say for me Brennan edges him out just a little bit, but I will defend both of them from criticism and at the same time acknowledge they are both flawed individuals who have made mistakes. But hey aren’t we all? I’ve really never met anyone who never makes a mistake.

  17. I joined the Fox Forum site after viewing the 100th episode. Needless to say that epi blew my mind away and I needed help in understanding what had just happened. Seeing other fan responses helped somewhat. I then became “hooked” with the fan site despite the huge amount of negativity being displayed during the 2nd half of last year’s season. I managed to hook up with a group of fans that were positive and they became my BY buddies (angelena and cosmicgirl are 2 of those BY buddies). Talking to them over the summer hiatus was a great help in getting through those months. I must also premise this by saying I’d broken my foot so my “activity” level was minimal and being on the computer on the BY site was a great way to minimize my boredom of being homebound. Then this season began with all its changes and the negativity at BY was even more rampant and I became somewhat disillusioned by the whole community. Angelena and cosmicgirl recommended this site and so I come here occasionally…but overall I have actually reduced the amount of time I am at either fan site. I don’t believe it is always healthy given the negativity that sometimes bombards us. It does affect my mood and thus reason for limiting my time these days. These short hiatuses are a great way to detox oneself from the community…especially if you’ve become fanatic about being on a fan site as I was this past summer. Having said this…the one thing I truly enjoyed at By was the intelligent discussion I had with my “positivity” buddies. I do enjoy dissecting the show so from this perspective…I’m alright with a forum community. But from the perspective of just voicing one’s complaint over and over and over and over again (which is what I saw at BY this year)…well…i don’t think that is healthy at all. Negativity breeds more negativity and getting caught up in that mood is not good…at least not for me…thus reason for me now limiting my time at any fan sites. BTW these are the only 2 sites I go to. I don’t read twitter or much fan fic (even though I wrote one…shame on me for not being a supporter of fanfic). I prefer the “real” thing despite the wonderful creative stories other fans have written about Bones.

  18. I’ve been a part of the Bones community for probably the last two years, though I’ve gotten worse within the last year. XD I started on fanpop and then moved to twitter and eventually found Bones Theory and a few other forums. I think the appeal is the opportunity to connect with fans that are so into television and who actually devote time to really learning shows. I can have casual conversations with my real life friends about Bones plots and characters, but deeper, more meaningful conversations only seem to occur between people I have met online. It’s hard to find people who are more than casual TV watchers.

    I think the main purpose, for me at least, is just to learn from other fans and feel more united with people who have similar obsessions/interests. I may not always agree with fans and I think there are certain fandoms that I don’t get along or fit in with, but then every once in a while I meet someone with such amazing insights and knowledge. I would probably be better off if I wasn’t so addicted to television and could become a casual TV watcher, but I enjoy this too much. I’m sure I’ll give all of this up one day, but for now I really enjoy the Bones community and it does make me happy.

  19. IMO Bones communities that don’t lean on spoilers have more of a feel good atmosphere. Spoiler speculations seem to bleed into all conversations. Upcoming episodes are ruined because someone’s opinion has now taken shape as what’s should or is going to happen on said episode.

    Repitition of negativity is very disappointing to me. In one community, some posters have repeated themselves soooooo much that I recognize them by comments alone.

    IMO Bones communties are great because I’m the only “over the moon” Bones fan among my family and friends. They watch if I’m visiting them on a Thursday. My mom doesn’t understand why I love it soo much but she now DVRs and watches it now. Got her! The communties are the only form of discussions I can have regularly.

    • I think I can guess which community you mean! I actually love spoilers and pretty much read them all, but I agree, some people read a single blurb or snippet and decide that an upcoming episode is going to stink without even giving it a chance.

      What I really don’t understand are the people who either don’t watch anymore at all, but continue to gripe, or the ones who keep watching for the sole purpose of finding something to gripe about.

      Sure we all have our ideas of what should happen on the show, but that’s what fanfic is for! Watching a show just so you can talk about how much you think it sucks is just….seemingly not a good use of one’s time.

  20. I’m still talking to you…though i do talk to anyone so that’s not really saying much! LOL

    I think for the most part the Bones ‘communuity’ has been good for me. I’ve met some incredible people, made some brilliant friends (even if they live all across the globe!) and sometimes immersing myself in this world is the only thing that makes me smile 🙂

    On the flip side i’ve also had the misfortune to encounter some…how shall i put it? Nutters. Yeah, nutters just about covers it! So it that regards it’s not so good. I’ve also involved myself with more than one place to get my Bones fix, and now i have the few select places i can go (including here!) to revel in my enjoyment. I have also learnt the places to avoid!

    I will admit that at times I let my love of this show…bring out the not so good in me. I’m quite an opinionated person and that extends to Bones…but by now i’ve learnt who i can trade theories with and who to avoid! 😀

  21. I’ve only been watching Bones for a little over a year, and only ventured into the Bones community about 9 months ago. It was just a little taste…and I was ok. But then I made the mistake of venturing deeper into the pool and boy did I regret it. Luckily, when I was at my lowest point I found Bones Theory. And I’ve been much happier. It has become my “safe” place. I have one other “safe” place with Bones fans but it’s more of a general community.

    One interesting thing I found in your piece Sarah is how you said that sometimes it’s easier to be a clanging cymbal than a fan. It’s interesting because while I was lost in the pool of negativity that is the general Bones community, all I heard was that they were all “fans” which totally went against my definition of fan, where at the heart of it, you have to actually LIKE (and actually WATCH) what you are a “fan” of and it seems like there is so much hatred and disgust at the writers and producers and creators and some of the actors all in the name of “fans” having a right to an “opinion” and that included the right to lambast HH and SN and whoever else got caught in the crossfire on Twitter and the boards. It made me not want to be a member of the Bones Community.

    Bones is good for me. Bones Theory is good for me. the Bones Community is NOT good for me.

  22. Great topic, Seels.

    Let me see…I found Bones at the start of one of my biggest life changes (becoming a stay at home mum of twins). I found the community about 14 months after that and in many ways it saved me. Not just because it allowed me to talk about and analyse my favourite show, but in hindsight the connection to a community was what I was craving. A place to belong and meet new people.

    I’ve since moved away from the dependency, angst, frustration, obsession and am in a happy place. I have moved through defending the show, reading spoilers, to now happily reading fanfic and staying away from too much debate. This place is the only place that I ‘discuss’ anymore, because the negativity was making me more negative. It was getting me down reading constant negative views, and what I needed more was people telling me it was going to be ok. That B&B would survive the 100th/Muluku/Hannah etc…which is where we are now.

    Being part of an online community takes a lot of time and dedication (which I have less of now), so I’m staggered by those who just come on to bitch about how bad it all is. And more staggered by those who have stopped watching and are still bitching and moaning. What is the point? I believe that we all join these communities because we need ‘something’ else. These places came along at the right time for me.

    So: the right community can be a God send. The right people can be a joy to know and share and debate with. It’s about finding your place.

  23. I have to respond to this, and I have to be honest.

    I have been a part of several online “fandoms” going back to the days of Frasier. They have always been wonderful, positive experiences. I have been a part of the Law & Order: SVU fandom for almost six years. Six! I have made so many friends online, and have even meet some of them in real life and have memories that I will cherish forever.

    And that’s why, when I fell in love with Bones last year, I jumped online to find like minded fans. Boy was I shocked. The fandom was negative and bitter and unhealthy. It made me feel like I was missing something. Some of the people I “met” online made me want to stop watching the show, they made my angsty and like I had to defend liking the show. Now, since then, I’ve found a small group of people that I do like and it has been a more positive community and a better experience for me. But, I gotta say, my first experience with this online group of “fans” was horrid.

    I’m glad I found the Bones friends that I have because I know what a wonderful experience an online fandom can be, but the overall Bones fan presence online and their attitudes, makes me really sad and I almost wish I had never ventured into the hornet’s nest last spring.

  24. Thanks for all of the kind words, y’all! Bones Theory is the place I want to hang out because of the kind people who come here every day! 🙂

  25. The extent of my involvement with the Bones online community is this blog and reading/writing fanfiction. I think that, like many here, I have found that it is a crazy, often negative world out there when it comes to Bones (specially this season) and I just don’t have the patience or inclination for that. I watch Bones because for the most part it makes me happy and entertains me, even when I’m not particularly happy, I’m still invested in the characters and want to know more. I am continually flabbergasted by the people that hate the show, I mean, cannot stand it anymore but yet they are still watching and commenting on it. Of course, it’s a free country but honestly, I just can’t understand it because why bother with something that makes you so miserable. Sigh.

    Sometimes, I feel like all the fans out there are what I lovingly term “hater fans” but this blog reminds me that is not trues. There’s certainly people out there who still love the show even when they migh dislike the character’s actions or the storyline.

  26. I came to the community around ep 100. I was so upset with that and what followed that I needed something. I’m not sure what, but I needed something. So, I went to the BY. I quickly found out that some of it was very, very negative and just a lot of screaming. I learned where to go and where not to go. Over the summer I got more involved with the BY, esp the positive Spice thread and fanfic and the pix in SB/DB thread. (he, he, he) I got pretty obsessed and spent too much time.

    I did make some new friends, however, notably sarajade. A person can always use new friends.

    Eventually I found BT which I love (thank you Sarah for this wonderful site) because it’s analytical and intelligent. That helped me clarify the real issue with a lot of the BY: screaming aside, so much of the comments are just plain dumb. So, now I have a whole routine. BT first thing in my AM. Then 4 possible parts of BY: fanfic, SB/DB, spoiler room and media. And, I don’t read most comments. In the latter two fora, none. Just take the info about spoiler articles, etc. I also Tweet.

    Some days I spend way too much time here. Some days not so much.

    I have been very upset with Bones since ep 100. In that context, it’s been interesting to read BT because everyone has been working so hard to put a positive spin on things. I’m not sure that helped, but I did discover that the hiatuses this season have been helpful in letting me get over the intense feelings of sadness about where the show is/was. Sarah personally was a very helpful sounding board when I was considering abandoning the show.

    On the one hand, I often spend too much time in the Bones community. On the other hand, it has helped me deal with the sadness I felt about the show, and I’ve “met” new people of similar frame of mind. It’s nice to have someone to “talk” about Bones with because, there really is no one in RL. They all think it’s weird.

    So it’s probably as good for me as it is bad for me. ;-D

  27. Bones is only the second show I’ve ever been obsessed with — the first being Gilmore Girls. However, this is the first show where I sought out a place to meet like-minded fans. I am so glad I found Bones Theory because the posts and commentaries are insightful and thoughtful. I like that it is spoiler free, positive and clean. The scene studies are my favorites as they usually encourage me to go back and re-watch those episodes to see what others saw that I may have missed. The screen shots show us better examples of facial expressions than I can catch in a one time viewing. I love your screen caps! I don’t check out other forums though I lurk in the fanfic sometimes and read the GMMR reviews. Thanks for all the hard work that goes into this and thank you to the commentators too!

  28. BT is my first foray into the Bones community, but that was only after stumbling onto your review of DitP and doing a lot of reading and catching up on back posts. To be honest, I never really had much intention of posting anything, but one day I read a post and felt driven to add my voice to the conversation. And I’m glad I did, because you, Sarah, have created a safe harbor in a tumultuous internet fandom sea.

    I’ve done the online community thing for a couple of other fandoms, and I met some amazing people thanks to those communities. But in the case of the overall fan communities, they degenerated into hives of negativity and drama which ultimately drove me away from the sites because it just wasn’t fun anymore. I wanted to have fun and enjoy the experience with other fans. Watching things degenerate into what amounted to internet shouting matches was not the experience I wanted. And because of that, I’ve been left more than a little gun-shy regarding fan communities.

    For some reason there seems to be a subset of fans, no matter the fandom, that feeds on and breeds drama and negativity. I don’t want that kind of Bones experience. And BT is not that kind of experience. People here are thoughtful and courteous, and even when disagreeing with someone or correcting a factual error, everyone is polite and courteous, and I love that. And even if I can’t think of anything to add, or don’t have anything to say in response to a particular post, I love coming here to read what other fans are saying, and make it a point to check in at least once a day. I’ve even started poking around over at Bonesology, and although I haven’t registered over there, it’s nice to see some familiar “faces” among the crowd over there.

    So I’d say that the Bones community is good for us, so long as we choose where to spend our time and energy wisely. At least that’s what works for me. 🙂

  29. I echo a lot of the sentiments of posters here. I started watching Bones last February, and reading fan fic in May, but it was November when I started to get active into the online community. I’ve enjoyed your posts here immensely. You take the time to think things through and work past the initial emotional reaction and consider everything in the full context, which has been lacking on a number of other forums.

  30. Thanks for this website. Bones is the only show that I’m totally into. I definately am on the other Bones sites, but find that I’m skimming most of the comments on the community sites these days. I love being on them when everyone loves the show, but I find some of the always downers negativity to colour my mood too much. So, I read what I like and skip the rest these days. : )

  31. I’m not sure what the genuine purpose was, but the level of self-congratulatory comments here makes me really uncomfortable.

    I enjoy Bones Theory for the positive comments. But is does also remind me of the quote “”everything is for the best in this best of all possible worlds.” And for anyone familiar with Candide, that is not a compliment. I also enjoy the so-called negative sites because I find critical comments that are just as informative and well thought out as well as the positive ones here.

  32. Sorry for the late post, but felt I at least had to join the gratitude train. I’m glad that no one here seems to take all of your efforts on this site for granted; I’ve said it before, but I can only imagine the work that goes into writing and coordinating all the posts that go on here. It makes me sad for my other fave site because I realize that a lot of work goes into that one too and yet almost none of the posters there seem to care about that-just about getting their angry rantings out. If a blog puts that much effort into creating a forum for fans it means it’s creator is a fan; how these sites began to attract only negative show/producer/character-hating types is beyond me, and pains me on behalf of the blogger. I’m with Barbara-why would you ever waste energy complaining about a show you hate? It borders on the delusional. The negativity out there is almost overwhelming. Bones Theory has worked hard to keep things civil with constant reminders to be open to other comments and I’m glad that people here have risen to the challenge. I agree with someone above that avoiding spoilers seems to have helped too.

    So again, thanks so much for your labor of love. It is like the best of college; the fun English class that you chose to take because it was about something you love. I’m constantly being challenged on my views (when I’m not laughing my pants off or hyperventilating at the pictures) and the positive vibes I get here every day never fail to cheer me up.

  33. I’m intrigued by all the mentions of other review sites and twitter feeds. Is there a page where I can find those links?

  34. Hi all and Sarah firstly 🙂 My name is Olga, I’m from Russia and I am devoted Bones fan. I discovered show in November 2010, yes, I’m late-comer. My “honeymoon” with Bones is never-ending 🙂 When I love some thing I try to find people which love this too. I like to read relative news, articles, etc. 

    I had many work in last month of 2010, then I have long New Year holidays. I was sleeping, having meetings with friends and of course watching Bones! And I had time to googling Bones-related sites and blogs. I found several sites and saved those in my RSS-reader. After one month I deleted most of them – not originally, not interesting, partly with negative and so on. Now I have only two sources – Bones Spoilers Blog (I like it for interesting news about show and actors, interviews, videos, magazine’s scans and so on) and Bones Theory. 

    Bones Theory is excellent blog with best readers! I’m not native speaker, if I could write in Russia I would say many-many good words about this blogs and all authors and members of community. In English I say that I LOVE all of you! 🙂 We are always positive, kind, friendly. The best Bones community at all! 

    I remember when I find BT at first time. I was wondered how much interesting posts in this blog! And I was glad that Sarah decided to write posts every day in 2011. In january my English was more poor than now. I decided to read every post from January, 1. It was very difficult, some posts I was reading for 3-4 hours! I bought new dictionary for my phone, I become to watch Bones only in English (with subtitles, but it was big achievement for me!). Now my English more good but I need to try, to learn more. BT helps me with this work! I love Sarah for that! Now I can read faster, than in January. And I can to write English commentaries too! I sure they are awful but I try, try! 🙂 Maybe after one year or two I will write article in this blog? I’m a journalist, I love my work, but write only in Russian.

    In addition about community – I created my own Bones blog two month ago. on the Tumblr platform. It’s a little success – I have 27 subscribers in Tumblr and about 25 by RSS. I try to write in English mostly because all my Tumblr followers are not Russians.

    About negativity from some readers. Sarah, please, don’t worry, ignore all those people. I’m sort of popular blogger in Russia – have about 2000 subscribers and same amount of daily visitors in my russian-language blog about IT and about 7000 followers in Twitter. I can fully understand you! Some part of readers can be very angry and rude and offensive. It’s difficult to ignore their feedback but I try. That’s main – there are many readers which loves you and your posts!

    Oh, maybe that all that I can say with my poor possibilities to write in English 🙂 Resume – I’m a newbie in community but I love to be in community. But one important moment – there is ONE best Bones community for me and this is Bones theory.

    If BT wouldn’t exist, my Bones passion wouldn’t give so much pleasure to me 🙂 BT – it’s my daily ritual 🙂 And I LOVE this. 

    Sorry if I was over-emotional and did very many mistakes in my comment 🙂

  35. I find myself at a time in my life where I need a fantasy world to connect to. I love my life, sooo love it. I love being home with my son, I love taking care of my daughter. I love supporting my husband’s crazy career dreams, but I desperately need to connect to something outside my world. I first watched Bones one night while sleeping in our spare bedroom… I was actually frightened by the episode- the Halloween one where they all dress up and the crazy EMT guy was snatching girls- but I was also intrigued. I’m with Bones all the way because of B&B. All. The. Way. Their maturing love and their friendship is a journey I enjoy so much.

    Now, no one I know likes Bones as much as I do. My husband goes along with it, bless him. He even got a pic once with DB at an airport! He approached him by saying something like, “Hey boss. My wife is a huge fan. Can I get a pic?” Hahahahahaha! My husband! 🙂 I think I joined BT sometime last fall… we had moved and couldn’t afford internet or cable. I was literally reading BT off my 2in phone screen just to keep in touch with what was going on. Thank God I have Internet now!! LOL

    I don’t plan to dig into fan fic or anywhere else but here. (Ok, *maybe* a spoiler page or two… I can read the last page of a book and still enjoy every juicy tid bit along the way! Seriously! 🙂 I enjoy BT because we talk about the things that make Bones great- the relationship, the growth, the journey- in a mature way. I’ve been at the teenage-stalker stage before (Dawson’s Creek, Alias) and it isn’t a pretty place for me! LOL I NEED to be a 30+ mom who can talk about the importance of relationships without going tooooo far. (Now, I’m not judging, lest I be judged: during this past hiatus, I watched Buffy and Angel just to get some DB action- and I hadn’t even watched them the first time around!) (blushing, hanging head) 😀

    I love that we can be mature about Bones as a truly wonderful story. It’s wounded, vulnerable, heart crushing and yet incredibly honorable and a little inspiring. That’s great storytelling, baby! 🙂

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