Bones Theory

Until Death, Part One: Brennan’s Evolution

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Hey there Bones Theory friends. Happy Wednesday to you all! A couple months ago, we had a wild and wonderful celebration of all things eventually here at Bones Theory, aptly titled “Eventually Week.” As you all know, it’s practically impossible to discuss Booth, Brennan, and their “eventually” for an entire week without the subject of marriage coming up at least once. Would they? Should they? Do we even want them to? It’s a hotly debated issue in the Bones world, and one that I believe deserves its very own post. Okay, make that two. 

Before I get started, I want to lay all my cards out on the table and say that I am very much in the “Booth and Brennan should get married” camp. It’s kind of like admitting that I’m a shipper and because I am, I can’t help but write posts from a shipper’s point of view. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and so when I say I want to see Booth and Brennan eventually marry, it’s not because I want to see a wedding (far from it, actually), it’s because I want them to make what I consider to be the ultimate commitment to each other. Rynogeny’s excellent post (“The Love in the Partnership,” 2/17/11) quite convincingly shows that what Hart Hanson and the Bones writers are creating between Booth and Brennan is so much more than just sexual attraction – it’s a love that’s meant to last forever. And the way I see it, marriage is the glue that holds that forever together. It’s a, “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, until death do us part…even on the days when I wake up in the morning and I can’t for the life of me remember why I married this person in the first place” kind of commitment. And I want that for them.

That the issue sparks a lot of debate is understandable, since, quite frankly, Booth clearly wants to be married and Brennan doesn’t. Well…at least he did and she didn’t. I get the distinct feeling that the tables may have turned a little bit in recent episodes, but I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?

The central argument against marriage between Booth and Brennan is Brennan’s long-held belief that, anthropologically speaking, marriage is an “antiquated ritual.” Ipso facto Colombo Oreo, her marriage to anyone, Booth included, would be completely out of character. Or would it? There’s been a somewhat subtle, yet still marked, shift in Brennan’s views on marriage in recent seasons that I think changes the game completely…and I know I’m not the only one who’s noticed, because it’s been mentioned by several people on several different occasions here at Bones Theory.

Now I watched all or part of at least ten different Bones episodes in preparation for this post, and to be completely honest, I’m still not sure I’ve found all the relevant references to marriage. I’m counting on you all to fill in any blanks I’ve missed because we’re going to use the evidence we collect today in our part two discussion (tomorrow) of the reasons why Brennan’s philosophy about marriage may have changed.

As we all know, Brennan’s initial opinion of marriage is quite negative. We (the viewer) get our first taste of her views on the issue in the season two episode, The Woman in the Sand. Their investigation into a double homicide in Las Vegas requires Booth and Brennan to go undercover as, “a couple of hot high rollers,” named Tony and Roxie.As they dress, Booth sets up their cover story:   

Booth:  We’re newlyweds, I said. Taking Sin City by storm; ready for action!  

Brennan:  Well, you know marriage is such an archaic institution. 

Booth:  Listen Bones, I know what I’m doing, okay? I’ve done this before. Just stop arguing. 

Brennan:  Well, I’m not. It’s just…I don’t need a piece of paper to prove my commitment.

Booth:  Fine, we’re engaged.

Brennan:  Why would I be okay with engagement?

Booth:  Whatever Bones, alright? We’re a loosely committed couple of hot high rollers with money to burn.

And with that, the writers set up what looks to be yet another major conflict between Booth, who by his own admission (to Brennan in The Cinderella in the Cardboard  and later to Hannah and Sweets in The Daredevil in the Mold) wants to be married, and Brennan, who doesn’t even believe in the institution.

Brennan’s negative view of marriage resurfaces in The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House (also season two). And as expected, she and Booth again butt heads on the issue. This time the topic of discussion is Hodgins’ two failed marriage proposals to Angela. Booth and Brennan discuss the issue both at the beginning (“People fall in love and they get married. That’s what people do.”), and the end (“Just because I think marriage is an antiquated ritual doesn’t mean that I don’t want Angela and Hodgins to be happy.”) of the episode. Brennan also has the following exchange with Angela part-way through:

 Brennan:  You know, if you want to be impulsive, why don’t you just say yes?

Angela:  Because I’ve also got you in my head telling me that marriage will hobble my personal and legal freedoms. You’re a very difficult best friend to have.

The third and final episode dealing with Brennan’s negative view of marriage comes in season four. And it’s a pretty major episode. In The Cinderella in the Cardboard, Booth and Brennan investigate the murder of a bride-to-be with serious infidelity issues. They have the following intense confrontation on the subject of marriage in the middle of an interview with the plastic surgeon who performed an un-sanctioned, somewhat freaky sounding, toe-shortening surgery on the victim,(and who mistakenly believes he’s found himself in the middle of a very heated lover’s quarrel):

Brennan:  Self-mutilation for an antiquated ritual? It’s barbaric.

Booth:  Well come on, marriage is very important to a lot of people Bones.

Brennan:  No it’s ridiculous. No one can guarantee how they’re going to feel about someone for life. We’re not a monogamous species.

Booth:  Marriage has been around since the beginning of time.

Brennan:  Women from Amazonian tribes expressed their love by spitting in their partners faces. I hope we’ve progressed past that.

Booth:  Okay, well you know what, sometimes love trumps logic.

Brennan:  Love is a chemical process which causes delusion. An intellectually rigorous person would never get married.

Booth:  Never say never!

I’d like to say that Booth’s last line is a beautiful bit of foreshadowing, but it’s somewhat negated by the fact that Brennan later responds to his assurance that he will marry one day with a somewhat ominous, “that’s impossible to know,” but I digress.

Before I move on, I think it’s worth mentioning that there are two other season two moments where Brennan could have made marriage an issue, but didn’t:  She tells Rebecca in The Truth in the Lye that she understands why Rebecca rejected Booth’s marriage proposal (she didn’t want to be one of those people who had to get married) and she agrees, without argument, to be Angela’s maid of honor in Stargazer in a Puddle. In the first case, I think Brennan had a much more important objective – to talk to Rebecca about Booth’s abilities as a father (not debate the merits of marriage). In the second case, well, Angela’s her best friend. And the look on her face when they hug? I think it speaks for itself. 

In terms of concrete evidence that Brennan has changed her views on marriage – there isn’t much. And yet what little we do have is pretty significant. The only verbal confirmation that any change has occurred is a statement Brennan makes, in passing, to her cousin, Margaret, in the season five episode, The Goop on the Girl. “Marriage is something you need to have a reason to enter into,” she says. “I never found that reason.” While it’s not exactly a ringing endorsement of the institution, it’s a pretty clear indication that she could eventually marry given a good enough reason. And the only explanation I can come up with for why the writers had her make that statement is because they intend to one day give her that reason.  

Of course, what Brennan chooses not to say on the subject of marriage in season five is just as important, in my opinion, as what she does say. There is no mention of antiquated rituals, chemical processes, or delusions when she toasts Jared and Padme’s engagement at the end of The Dentist in the Ditch or when she toasts Angela and Hodgins’ marriage in The Boy with the Answer. 

"Best wishes for a successful blending of familial obligations as well as monetary and property consolidation."

 And in The Death of the Queen Bee, she and Booth go undercover to her high school reunion, posing as a married couple – again without any debate or complaint from Brennan (in fact she seems quite comfortable in her role, and even goes so far as to wear a wedding ring). Why? We know she’s not afraid to speak her mind, so the obvious conclusion is that she doesn’t say anything because she no longer feels the need to.

I have one final thought (more like a rhetorical question actually) before I set you all loose in the comments section, and it is this:  what was the turning point? Now I say this is a rhetorical question because while I want you to think about it, I don’t necessarily want you to respond to it today. There must have been a turning point that occurred somewhere between The Cinderella in the Cardboard (season four, episode 20 of 26) and The Goop on the Girl (season five, episode 10) that triggered Brennan’s change of heart. I do have my own theory as to what event led to the change and why. The episode in which I believe it occurred has not been mentioned today primarily because it figures prominently in tomorrow’s discussion. How’s that for a tease?

If you’ve made it this far – thanks for reading! The comments are yours, so tell me:  what do you think about the moments I’ve mentioned? Are there any I’ve missed? Is this change in Brennan real, or are we making much ado about nothing?

See you all tomorrow for round two – same Bones time, same Bones station!

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30 thoughts on “Until Death, Part One: Brennan’s Evolution

  1. (Posting to sign up for email. Excellent topic – there’s a lot here to chew on.)

  2. I think her turning point came in the End in the Beginning which I notice you didn’t mention. I think the fact that she could imagine a life with Booth as his wife and then expecting a baby with him as the major plot line of her book speaks volumes (sorry for the pun). The fact that she deleted it at the end only told me that she didn’t dare hope for that much happiness for herself-not that she didn’t want it.

  3. I believe that Brennan has been so adverse in the past to marriage because of her own personal experience with abandonment by her family. What must she have thought at the age of 15, when she found herself parentless? If her parents could abandon her then how could she ever rely upon someone not related to her to commit to her in a permanent relationship? In the past, we saw how she didn’t trust anyone far enough to believe that they would always be there for her. Marriage requires that you believe that the one you love will always be there for you, that they they will stay with you, not abandon you. I believe that Brennan, being the scientist that she is, needed proof that there is someone out there who would never betray her. Never run away from her. I believe she may now be open to the idea of marriage because of Booth. Booth has shown his loyalty to her in many ways. Even when she told him no and he told her he would move on, that didn’t mean that he would leave her. He would still be her partner. Hannah entering into Booth’s life could have reversed Brennans idea about Booth’s loyalty and yet though he proclaimed his love for Hannah, he still remained her partner. He didn’t run from her. This may have allowed her to believe that a permanent relationship is possible (with Booth) because even though they went through a very rough patch he still stayed with her. Now that Hannah is gone and Booth is so down on marriage, it will be up to Brennan to get Booth to reconsider his idea that marriage is not in the future for him. Yes, Booth so desperately wanted marriage but now fears that will never be. Brennan who has always thought a permanent relationship with anyone would be impossible is now the one that seems to be moving toward the idea of marriage. Or at least a permanent relationship with strings attached.

  4. First time commenter here.

    Brennan has changed so much over the past six years. I truly believe she was against marriage because she had been abandoned by her parents. The marriage of her parents seems to have been good, but she’s dealing with the thought that no one could love her enough to be with her in that way because he parents left her at such a vuleranble age. She didn’t believe that she could be committed to someone for so long because she felt they would just leave/betray her.

    I think it spoke volumes that she was able to write the book expressing her true feelings. That entire episode intrigues me because I want to know so much more about what happened during his coma. I want to know if Booth’s health was a catalyst to open up her world and realize she loves him, deep down.

    As much as she has changed, I think she still clings on to her science when she gets scared. She’s been so brave this season, stepping forward to tell Booth she had made a mistake was a big deal. I know I personally would have trouble being so honest with someone in that way, especially knowing that it wouldn’t really change much because Booth is so loyal.

    I do think they could be married one day down the road, because she has seen Booth be committed to her in their partnership. She is changing and evolving, and I can see that the end of this season will be more of Booth healing, and Brennan will have to show him (just as she did in the episode with Jared getting engaged) that she has been listening and evolving all along… that she now sees what love can be through his eyes and wants to try. It will be hard, he’s hanging on by a thread, but that’s what makes it so great.

    • Great first comment!! You’ve brought up some interesting ideas. I’ve always wondered about The End in the Beginning as well. Why did she write the book at all? Why did she read it to him aloud?

  5. Great post! I admit, I love thinking about Booth and Brennan getting married. Not the wedding so much as the moment when they actually decide to get married.

    In my head, the way it could play out is…they’re in a relationship and Booth is happy with that and content in the knowledge that Brennan will never want to marry. But I can see Brennan deciding that being Booth’s wife would make her happy and it’ll be a bit like in Bond when she says that ‘despite the intellectual and financial contradictions…I still feel close to you’. She’ll come to thinking that despite what she’s always thought about marriage, she realises now that being married to Booth is what she wants. That’s key – I don’t think it’ll be Booth that asks, because just being with her is enough. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway.

    I agree with Lenora about how he’s proved his loyalty, and actually – this is what I think he was assuring her of at the end of Sin in the Sisterhood, that ‘that person isn’t going anywhere.’ I felt he was reassuring her that no matter what happened, no matter if he was with someone else, he’d still be there for her, that she could still rely on him. It was almost like his version of ‘right beside you Booth, like always, like I always will’.

    Which reminds me – when I heard Brennan say that last week, I was like ‘woahhh – that’s big coming from Brennan’. She’s always maintained that you can’t know how you will feel in the future (what with feelings being ephemeral) , or what will happen in 5 or 10 years time and suddenly she’s telling Booth that she’ll always stand beside him? Can I hear you say, ‘squeeee!’? haha, seriously though – that’s a big statement from her, and she’s so brave with it – she’s come such a long way. So much for being the scientist who ‘can’t change’.

    • I felt the same way about that speech last week. Does she hear herself??? Oh, it’s amazing. 🙂

      And I love the idea you present about her realizing that it IS something she wants, a marriage to Booth. The main scenario I’ve always imagined is that (assuming marriage IS part of the big picture, which–I agree with Stephanie–it is!) she’d marry Booth because she knows how important it is to him. And boy, if there was any doubt as to whether or not it really was important, I think it’s been pretty sufficiently squelched after Daredevil. But I love the thought that one day Brennan could want it as much as he does. Maybe she’ll reconsider (dare I imagine she’s reconsiderING, as in now??) purely because it’s something he wants so badly, but I think I’m with you now on marriage actually happening because she realizes that shewants it after all.

    • I agree with you on the proposal. I’ve always thought it will have to be Brennan who will propose. No matter how happy he becomes in a relationship with her, I don’t think he’ll ever have the confidence to ask her to marry him. He’s just been let down too many times. Plus it will mean so much more coming from Brennan. Eeek!!

  6. I don’t believe that Brennan needs or wants to be married, but I do believe that if the relationship is allowed to get that far, a’marrying we will go.

    IMO, Brennan is more likely to defer to Booth’s desire for marriage, to make him happy, than the other way around. I think Booth is such a traditionalist that even though he would probably sincerely make the effort to be happy in a long-term, committed, serious relationship that didn’t include a ceremony, he would feel that missing ‘something.’ Brennan is the one who would bend.

    I’m okay with that. I don’t think it’s necessary, but I can also see for the majority of the audience the relationship wouldn’t be “official” without the wedding ring.

  7. This is definitely a thought-provoking post, although I have to say right off the bat that I agree with just about all you say on the matter. I know that some people argue that Brennan shouldn’t get married because it makes her seem weak in some way, as if she might be giving something of herself up in the process. It’s as if there’s some type of scorekeeping going on where either Booth scores a point or Brennan scores a point but always at the expense of the other, and one of them either wins or loses at the end. I’ve never seen it that way; they both can win at the end, even it it means that some long-held opinions have been changed in the process.

    I don’t believe that Brennan’s initial objection to marriage is some deeply felt and essential part of who she is. She may have couched it in anthropological terms as she often does when something makes her uncomfotable and she wants to distance herself emotionally from the topic, but her dislke of the idea of marriage is based, as so many have eloquently put, on what happened to her as an adolescent and not on some rational theory. Her stable family life disappeared overnight and she concluded that emotional ties were unreliable, and even worse, could cause the most damage of all when things went awry. Science and rationality were immutable and thus inherently trustable, safe. Marriage represents the ultimate level of trust for her and the fact that she rejected it so vehemently throughout the series speaks volumes about how really important and scary that concept is for her. If she didn’t already imbue marriage with so much significance she wouldn’t object so loudly-after all, in our society it isn’t so difficult to take oneself out of the married state should things go wrong. And anthropologically, I think she could argue that marriage is a stabilizing force in many societies, so that she could just as well justify it for herself if she wanted to. But what marriage really means to Brennan is trust, the one thing that has come to be so difficult for her to do. This is why I see marriage as such an important step for her-not because Booth will “win” by it-getting her to do what he wants- but because she wins by once again allowing herself to trust-and in my book, the ability to trust and to allow herself to be loved *in that way* is definitely a good thing.

    And the turning point? It could have happened sooner than this, but since I can’t quite remember all the details of the preceding ones, I’m going with Crtiic in the Cabernet. She decides she wants a baby, but not just any baby-she wants Booth’s. Important, because whether she wants to or not and as Sweets points out, this will end up creating a different dynamic with her partner. The first part of the episode is spent by B/B both arguing against any ties being created between them by the mere fact that they will have a baby together (even though we know that Booth has subconscious doubts about this.) Angela even brings it up, that they should have a baby the old-fashioned way where maybe Booth becomes a part of Brennan’s life but Brennan argues no; emotional ties are ephemeral by nature (meaning her and Booth) and thus not to be trusted. (Funny, because a child-parent relationship falls into this category as well, yet she still wants it.) So up to this point it’s the status quo for her, just the usual set of beliefs, and then Booth almost dies. This is where I think she understands how deeply invested she already is in Booth-that they already have some sort of real relationship. Despite her best efforts at protecting herself emotionally by distancing from people, she has been touched by Booth and has already put herself in the position of being hurt deeply by his leaving her life-we see it at the hospital where she seems more wife than partner. And so I think she begins to write her book because emotionally she’s already tied up with him, even if she isn’t willing to admit it in any other form. She retreats later and ends up going on her dig because the feelings were probably too intense, but the thought is already out there, as it was written on her book-that love is worth it, even when there is the possibily of pain associated with it. She may have deleted the words, but the feelings couldn’t be disposed of so easily. (Jeesh, sorry this went on and on-can you tell I’m lacking a bit of a life here?)

    • I agree wholeheartedly with everything you so beautifully said!

    • Brilliant comment Maria – I love everything you said!

    • I like the way you think!

    • I have a thought not wholly relevant to the post, but you made me think how big a difference between the end of season 3 (when Booth supposedly “died” and she compartmentalized) to how scared she was in CitC. I mean obviously she was upset as she was treating his gunshot wound and trying to save his life, but somehow it seemed different from the look in her eyes in CitC

  8. I agree with everything so far…it was the book that allowed Brennan to imagine herself as married to Booth and she probably freaked out at just how much she enjoyed that fantasy world – that’s probably another topic though.

    I also agree with the posters who say that Brennan will never need or even necessarily want to get married. I do think Booth would be willing to accept a life with Brennan sans marriage – he was willing to forego that desire in his wild attempt at the Hoover at least.

    I doubt the show will ever go that far, but I can see a scenario in which Brennan finds some practical reason to justify getting married (if only to herself). I do think she’d want him to ask though; I imagine that her anthropological mind would conclude that as an alpha male, he’d want to ask rather than be asked, and my wildly romantic side wants her to want him to finally hear “yes”.

    But really, I could it either way, she asks him, he asks her, etc.

    I know this isn’t a popular opinion, but I really do hope the show ends without a definitive answer on that front. Don’t get my wrong – I want B/B unequivocally together at the end of the series, but there is a certain beauty in an open ending. It’s really a gift to the audience – here they are together, now imagine the happy ending of your choice.

  9. Please excuse me if my english sucks…
    First of all, great blog and great post!!
    I think Brennan wants to believe in marriage (the end in the beginning) but her logical nature keeps holding her back. She believes in commitment (the woman in the sand) but not through marriage and I, as a viewer, accept that truth about her. I can picture her with Booth for a long time… 30, 40 years, but not as a wife; they would be like one of those committed couples that love each other inside their own rules. And here I don’t speak about polygamists or occasional encounters, but loving each other and being unconditional without labels.
    She has her reasons to not get married and nonetheless, she respects and values some aspects of it, like Angela’s case, although I think she does it because of her anthropological knowledge. She must recognize the significance of the event per se, but not the reasons to act to it.
    I’ve always been on the side of “they should not get married” because for me, the most meaningful act from Booth to Brennan would be to understand her reasons (let’s face it: Brennan is logical and marriage is only one of the thousand things she analyzes) about this and to prove her that they, in fact, don’t need institutions to be together for years. I know people change their points of view, and Brennan has done that with other things (like love, family, friends, etc), but with this concept is more than an opinion in stake, it’s her persona: professionally and socially.

  10. Great topic. People have already written some great comments. I agree that the possibility is there for Brennan to get married because of her evolving views. I just can’t see a wedding, but who knows? I don’t think Brennan getting married would be against her nature, because I agree with others that her objection to it was moreso motivated by fear, not indisputable logic. She can be sentimental, but she doesn’t really feel comfortable showing that side to the world – for example, missing someone always wanting to know where she is, being excited for Angela and Hodgins marriage and baby, knowing she’s missing so much not giving her total self in a relationship, and missing Booth’s protection overseas.

    I think it’s just easier to be against something rather than desire it when you don’t think it’s possible for you, or you don’t think you deserve it. Brennan never imagined being committed to someone (her and Cam’s talk in “The Rocker in the Rinse Cycle” when she says in ignorance she awaits her own surprise, and her and Angela’s talk sometime in S6 when she says she’s living the life she expected – 😦 ) That’s why I think it’s been such a big deal for her to wrap her head around the idea of her and Booth being in a committed relationship. She has to decide if what she wants now is what she’s been telling herself she wants for so many years. Can she be that person to make such a big commitment in spite of her past experiences of abandonment of hurt and failed relationships? I think that’s where she is in her development right now (or is she past that?) I don’t know how much of a sure thing she thinks Booth and she would be, but it seems like she’s willing to give their love a chance after going through their painful separation, literally and figuratively.

  11. I love this post and I actually think Brennan has come a long way. What I believe needs to happen is that Booth needs to give a little. Marriage is wonderful. I love my husband and I love being married to him. I love waking up beside him and going to sleep next to him. However, there are moments in our marriage when I want to escape. There are times when I am mad at him and there are moments when I don’t FEEL like I love him.

    Booth is an all or nothing kind of guy. Maybe Brennan needs to hear that he is committed to her and when the feeling isn’t there, he choice will be to love her. 30, 40, or 50 years will not be all romance and fairy tales. Things will be bad and maybe she needs to know that they will still be committed even when things are a mess. Sort of like this time in their partnership. They have chosen to stay committed to it regardless of the situation. Maybe they need to take that over into a relationship with the same attitude.

    I choose to love my husband everyday. Even when I would rather be alone….

    No one can live up to Booth’s expectation of love and marriage. I am very pro-Booth and I don’t think this is anyone’s fault. However, at the beginning Booth and Brennan were at opposite sides of the Love/marriage spectrum. Brennan has evolved and is willing to do things Booth’s way. I just think Booth needs to give a little too and let her know that marriage is as much a commitment as it is a feeling and he will be there no matter what and when he doesn’t feel like loving her he will choose too.

    I don’t want to sound like I am not very Pro-Booth because I am….I love him and I want Brennan to love him. But I also think he wants a fairy tale and he just needs a dose of reality in there too. Each of them give a little.

    • I am not saying he needs to compromise on monogamy. That is non-negotiable.

      • I am not so sure that Booth has a fairy tale take on marriage. He has seen the bad side of relationships (his Dad) and he has seen the good (Pops). I think he wants what most of us want, someone who loves us and who is on our side when things are going wrong and when things are going right. I thinks he believes in the loyalty that marriage should bring. Booth and Brennan know that they are very independent people with very different ideas about how the world works and yet they both are loyal to each other in their friendship. I think Booth and Brennan are both looking for that loyalty in each other and I really think that that is what Booth is searching for in marriage.

    • Amen! I love Bones because it’s a TV show that defies the standard by having two lead characters who don’t just hook up right away. I’d love for the writers to develop B&B love into the kind that truly does last 30, 40, 50 years. Not the ridiculous, fairytale love that we see all too often. Realistic love can be just as romantic and enjoyable to watch as fairytale love. I think the last 6 years have proven that.

  12. I’ll admit that a teeny tiny part of me wants to see Brennan planning for her wedding, because something tells me it would be hilarious.
    But marriage is not such an entity over here as it probably is in America, so it’s less of an automaticality for me to see it as the ultimate goal. The desire to be a wife that some women seem to have is mostly strange to me and I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that, or with Brennan if she doesn’t want to marry. My point here is that simply not all women dream about their wedding day since they are little girls as the cliché would have us believe.
    This doesn’t mean that I don’t see marriage as something sacred or meaningfull. I just don’t see it as a nessesarity.
    However, Brennan is an American, and as an athropologist, very aware of the perceptions of her culture when it comes to marriage which means that her rationalism doesn’t nessesarily have to be a factor to keep her from getting married if she wants to (she could rationalize marriage).

    I don’t háve to see them married, because their love and respect for eachother is sacred on it’s own. I really hope Booth will never make marriage a condition for their relationship like he did with Hannah, but somhow I think that for the right woman (Brennan) he will be able to let the desire to be married go. If he does take the pressure to get married off of himself and his relationships, then marriage might actually come his way naturally, even from Brennan.

    I’m not sure that they are ready for any such commitment at this point though, because there are still (IMO) some key things about eachother that they have to figure out. Booth still acts annoyed sometimes when Brennan is saying something very Brennanish or trying to make a joke, which makes me feel there are still parts of Brennan that he needs to come around to. And Brennan does not fully understand the dept and reality of some of Booths fears and issues yet. She still trusts him as an infallible example of social behaviour, which is adorable, but comes with a burden of expectation that may not be entirely fair to him on the long run.

  13. Marriage is not the ultimate solution to a committed relationship. Living together is, like Bodjes mention, more common in Europe than in the US. And you can still live happily ever after or until death us part! But if Brennan and Booth would like to have a child, a marriage in this country would still be favorable, because of laws. And I think, in that case Brennan will weigh out the pros and cons. But maybe she surprise us all and want to marry Booth, she has already changed so much.

  14. You are absolutely brilliant! Can’t wait for tomorrow’s post!!

    AND THE EPISODE!! YAYAYAYAY 😀

  15. Maria: I agree with what you said above and love the way you said it. I too think that Booth’s near death experience right after Brennan’s decision to have a child by (with) him was a catalyst for her. Anthropologically speaking she understands that having married parents is better for the child even though she doesn’t need a man to be a good parent. In Critic in the Cabernet, Brennan realizes (even though she doesn’t come right out and say she gets it) that if Booth were to be the father, he would want to BE the father. That tells her he is not an abandoner because he is not going to abandon his child. I think this realization will move her towards seeing that marriage would be something she also desires for herself in the future even if she doesn’t have a child.
    She has changed so much. She didn’t leave this time. She stuck it out and now she says she will always be right beside Booth — sounds like quite a commitment to me!

  16. A thought provoking post, Stephanie… very cool; can’t wait to see what you post tomorrow! 🙂

    I’m in the “I’d like to see Booth and Brennan get married camp”, but I think it has to be done the right way and in the right time or it’s going to feel forced. At the same time, I’d also be okay with “30, 40 or 50 years and we don’t need a piece of paper to tell us that it will happen”; I guess I just want to see them find their happiness in each other.

    I agree with you that Brennan has clearly adjusted her thought process in terms of love, marriage and family as the seasons has gone on. It’s a huge adjustment for someone to go from “I don’t a piece paper to define my life” to “yeah, I’d be open to it if the right reason came along”. The fact that Brennan, with as rigid as she can be, has managed to shift her ideas in that regard, that’s not just a huge adjustment – it’s enormous.

    If their relationship moves from partners to something more and progresses from there, I agree with the crowd that it will likely be Brennan who makes the move in that respect and proposes to Booth. I just don’t see him taking the risk with his heart again, or being willing to potentially upset the proverbial apple cart and lose Brennan over their differing desires.

    I imagine that if Brennan were to propose, she would present it to him in a very logical manner about the social and economic advantages it would give them, and it would be very cute and “Brennan-y”. I’d love to see that. And I’d love to see them get married, but I don’t think it would happen in the traditional sense of a church and flowers and swearing before God, because while that’s who Booth is, it’s not who Brennan is. I would imagine that they’d have to find a common ground, just as they do in everything else, and I would love to watch that unfold.

  17. I’m catching up again 🙂 Two weeks behind this time…whoops! LOL

    I have to say that i don’t really see what you’re seeing here Stephanie. I mean…i’m trying (honest i am!) but i don’t see that Brennan has changed her mind on marriage. At all. What i do see is a Brennan that has evolved enough to know when it is appropriate for her to announce her opinions to the world and when it is not.

    She didn’t argue against the instituation of marriage at Jared and Padmes inproptue dinner. She made a lovely speech about love. Why? Because she has learnt enough to know that SHE may not belive in marriage but other people do…and it would have been incredibly inappropaite (and quite cruel) if she’d have informed them of all the ways they are wrong particularly in that moment. She isn’t like that anymore 🙂 In a ways it’s like she now thinks before she speaks…where as before she just spoke! LOL

    I think it’s stretching things quite a bit to assume that because she hasn’t made some sort of denial every single time marriage is mentioned that she’s changed her mind. The woman is a genius after all…maybe she knows when she’s banging her head against a brick wall?! LOL

    I do belive, however, that her view of Love and Manogomy has changed. I think she is now open to the possibility that relationships can last for the long haul and that people can remain faithful. She may not be 100% certain…but she is now willing to take that risk.

    It took her long enough! LOL

    • Thanks for your comment Laffers.

      As I said in the beginning of this post, I think marriage is one of those issues where our perceptions are easily colored by our beliefs (to be clear, I’m referring to my beliefs and perceptions just as much as anyone else’s). Having said that, I do think you make a valid argument about the issue being more about Brennan having learned when and how to speak appropriately in certain situations than it is about her views on marriage changing. However, I also think my argument is valid (otherwise I never would have risked putting it out in such a public forum :)).

      I guess what I’m trying to say is that regardless of what we think we see or don’t see, this issue could very easily go either way and we’ll simply have to wait and see how it all plays out. I have a very strong suspicion that it will come up again in some form at some point down the road (assuming that we get to see B&B together for more than an episode or two). Until then, all we can do is speculate about the possibilities (which is, after all, what we do here at BT).

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

      • I agree that it’ll definitely come up again. One of those things that is unresolved between them…one of the many! LOL

        And if we only get one or two episodes with them as a couple i may scream…or cry! LOL

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