Bones Theory

Heart Matters: Claimed or Given?


Hello there, fellow Bones fans.  As we pass the midpoint of the extended hiatus, I think there is some value in reflecting on parts of the past year before we move ahead to Season 7.  I was thinking of the way Hart Hanson has made some foreshadowing with the Angela /Hodgins relationship in terms of what it means for Brennan/Booth.  In the Season 4 Premiere, before their mutual break-up, Angela and Hodgins ran into friction with the reappearance of Grayson.  As they discuss the fallout from her kissing Grayson and the physical confrontation between Hodgins and Grayson, Angela gives us this line.

ANGELA: Deal.  Look, it’s simple.  My heart isn’t yours to claim.  It’s mine to give away. 

That got me to thinking about the aftermath of Booth’s overture in the 100th.  A common (but by no means universal) fan perception is that Booth didn’t ‘fight’ hard enough for Brennan, and that he rushed or didn’t allow her to consider the issue before he said he had to move on.  Personally, I thought that idea infantilizes Brennan by saying that she doesn’t know her own mind, and that it makes her into some prize that one just has to jump through the correct hoops to obtain.  I think that though Brennan may have been surprised at the timing, she had considered her response if Booth asked her.  She mentions protecting him, which to me implies forethought.  However it ended up though, I thought that Brennan had every right to make the decision she did, and that she owned that decision and the consequences of her actions.

Does Angela’s quote have any applicability to Brennan and Booth?  They are distinct couples, but the broad strokes of their relationship have mirrored each other in many ways, with Angela and Hodgins being about 1-2 years ahead of our impassioned crime solvers.  Did Booth have to fight for Brennan?  If so, what would fighting for Brennan look like, and would she have been responsive to it?

What do you guys think?


40 thoughts on “Heart Matters: Claimed or Given?

  1. I’ve never thought Booth had to fight for Brennan. For me, it’s more about allowing her the space she needs to fight for them. Not him – them. But how could he have known that? He wasn’t wrong to move on, not when she was so definite.

    I also agree that although his timing might have surprised her, I don’t think his words did. I thought the way she responded, the words she used about not having an open heart, etc., showed that she’d thought about them as a couple before. IMO, she hoped they’d never have that conversation – the fear and pleading evident when she looked at him and asked if they could still be partners broke my heart. But she’d thought about it.

    She just wasn’t ready. For me, that’s what it boils down to. She just wasn’t ready.

    • MJ, I don’t think either of them were really ready. Booth thought he was, but he was still kind of mooning over her as a result of his coma dream. I think that, as difficult as it was for them, and as hard as it was to watch, they really needed that time apart to get some perspective on each other. Brennan needed to figure out that she does need people and learn to be okay with that, and Booth needed a reality check with regards to Brennan. I think that he was still wrapped up in “Bren” and having trouble separating that out from the real Brennan. I think he was also confused as to whether his feelings were real or not. I mean, Sweets told him that his love for Brennan was a result of his coma dream and it would fade. Then in the 100th, Sweets tells him to go for it. What? Gordon Gordon called him on being in love with Brennan and Booth admitted it. Same with Cam. But he still seemed conflicted as to whether it was real or not. I’m just not sure Booth had his head on straight yet.

      • I agree. I think as painful as S6 may have been, I do think both Brennan and Booth gained something out of it. I think Brennan knew in episode 100 what Booth wanted, I think she knew more than he did. Brennan knew from Booth’s past experiences and from who she came to know him as that he would committ himself completely to someone. I think she knew what kind of “stuff” he was made of the first time they kissed right after he said he thought this was “going somewhere” and right after he shared that he has a gambling problem with her. She knew. Did he know? I’m not entirely convinced. Maybe he really did believe that “giving it a try” would be enough for him….then what? I do believe Booth loved Hannah but I’ll never believe he “knew” with her or even thought she could be his 30,40,50 year person. If anything I think the drunken conversation with Sweets made Booth realize he isn’t getting any younger and that he really DOES want family and someone to love and to love him in return and time was ticking. I think Booth had to get to a point where he admitted to himself what he wanted. Until he got to that point I’m not sure if he could get an outcome he desired.

      • See, I never really totally got down with the “Booth was in love with Bren, not Brennan” theory. Booth has known this woman for years. His affection and care for her could be seen well before the coma, even if it wasn’t “in love”. The prickly side of Brennan is easy for everyone to see, even (perhaps especially) Booth. But, he somehow was able to see past all of that and fell in love with her heart. Sure, there are times when they seem so enamoured with each other that it seems like the other can do no wrong. But most times, they are able to see the best and worst of each other, and recognize that the good outweighs the bad. They love each other just as they are. At the same time, they wish the best for each other – love and happiness – even if it takes some personal growth. Sometimes the rose-colored glasses are really just their way of believing in the other person so much – they have so much faith in each other.

        In the post-coma world of Season 5, Booth may have had an AU experience, but Brennan planted the idea in his head. Maybe he improvised some (like being married), but I think we can all agree that Brennan was thinking heavily about love and how it related to her and Booth. Even Brennan was different after that. I still don’t think that she was really trying to lead him on, but her feelings were getting harder and harder to resist. She told him she felt close to him, changed her position on love, knew she would do almost anything for him (couldn’t think of anything she wouldn’t), and in general was a lot more caring towards him. I can understand why Booth thought that maybe he could finally take the risk, besides first case memories and Sweets’ prodding.

        To me, “Bren” in the coma was how things could be if Brennan was open to the idea of love, accepting Booth’s love, and loving him back openly and just as fierce in return. So no, it wasn’t really Brennan at the time, but it could be her if she felt herself capable of loving like that. Booth may have struggled with whether his feelings were real during the first part of the season, but I think he knew by the time he asked her. And in asking her for a chance, I don’t think it was necessary for him to declare his love for her either. I think it was better that he alluded to it – it wouldn’t have been wise for him to put it out there and then be tempted to take it back again. He really just wanted to deepen what they already had. Booth saw what they could be, but for all her progress, Brennan was still too wrapped up in her own insecurities to take that step with him. Booth could believe in her and them all he wanted, but if Brennan wasn’t going to believe, it would never work, and she had to come to that belief on her own.

      • I’ve always thought we read too much into that coma dream. Brennan wrote it (IMO, as a subconscious way to explore what she felt for Booth) but it’s not real. Angela does not ever call her Bren. Booth does not dress like Mr. B at all, even in his free time (and if loved the clothes so much, why doesn’t he just go out and buy some?). Grayson’s not a gangster. The Lab isn’t a bar. Etc. It was a fake world and it was only real to Booth because he was in a coma.

        Just IMO but I think he was already in love with Brennan and the dream allowed him to recognize those feelings for what they were, but they also pushed him beyond what she was ready for. To me, the real part of Brennan is in those last few paragraphs she wrote before she deleted the whole thing.

        You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. That’s the burden.

        Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly . . .

        Burdens that make us better than we are.
        Burdens which allow us to fly . . .

        She had to figure out that she actually wanted those burdens enough to risk not her heart but his. Personally, I believe it was always his heart and his feelings that held her back. She could handle her own pain, but she wouldn’t risk his.

      • MJ, I agree that the coma dream has been given undue importance. I think that beyond the first few weeks of recovery, Booth didn’t have a problem consciously distinguishing between real life Brennan as his partner and coma dream Brennan as his wife. However, I think it muddied his psychological waters with reference to his feelings for her.

        I have said this before, so bear with me if you’re sick and tired of hearing it, but I think that in the first season Booth initially respected Brennan for her abilities, then grew to care about her as a partner and friend. I am certain that he was still physically attracted to her. I think he viewed her the way he would the kid sister of his best friend, meaning Off Limits. Period.

        So he cared about her, eventually to love her, and, though I think he tried not to think about it, lusted after her. But not in an obsessive sort of way; remember he was still engaging in sex and/or relationships with Tessa, Rebecca, Cam, and possibly others we don’t know about for the nest few years.

        At some point he fell “in love” with her. I’m not really sure when, but I do think it was before the brain surgery. Then he has his surgery, gets a glimpse of a life with Brennan as his wife, and all of those walls he’d built to keep himself from actively thinking of her romantically and sexually came crumbling down. It made that very hard for him to deny anymore.

        Then, on top of what he has finally had to acknowledge that he feels for her, he’s getting mixed messages from others (GG, Sweets, Cam) about what that means and what he should do about it. And she starts dating his boss. I think that all of this left him in turmoil as to what exactly he was feeling, what his feelings meant, what he should do about it, how it would change things for them, etc.

        So even though he knew that he should not broach the subject impulsively with her (“Don’t you know you can’t rush her!”), he did exactly that. I think the influence of the coma dream was largely responsible for him acting so rashly.

      • @CJsMom, I can totally buy everything you just said. I don’t believe Booth fell “instantly” in love with Brennan; I think she “instantly” captured his attention (and he captured hers, for that matter) and love grew from that, over the course of the years they were together.

        If anything, I blame lingering effects from that coma dream for causing him to jump before he was ready, too. I definitely agree with you that it knocked down the walls he’d built around what he felt for Brennan. I think in the long run, that was probably a good thing – like in the long run, Hannah was a good thing. But I believe that dream caused him to jump before he was ready, too, because he wanted to recapture something that never really existed.

      • First of all, I want to apologize for all the typos. They make me cringe. Unfortunately, I had to post without proofreading, because the baby was calling. Such is life.

        Secondly, I agree that it was not love at first sight for either of them. But it was definitely something. There was a chemistry between them immediately that they both felt. I suspect it was the strength of those feelings that led to the fallout at the end of the Arrington case. When it couldn’t be just sex (“I think this is going somewhere”), Brennan freaked and it manifested itself as anger.

        Like you, I don’t think he fell in love with Brennan during the dream. I think the dream just forced him to face it. Coupled with his doubts about himself (Do I like brown sugar on my oatmeal? The shooting, the lie-detecting…), it totally threw him.

  2. I think if Booth had tried to “fight” for Brennan after the 100th episode she would have still run away. She thought she wasn’t ready to give him what she thought he needed/wanted. I think Brennan knows Booth is “all in” when he gives his heart to someone and I honestly believe she didn’t think she could return that in the 100th episode. She needed perspective. I think if Booth had tried to “fight” for her it would have failed. Booth knows Brennan…he knows no one can make her see things or think a certain way. You can’t rush her. He knows it. As much as we may have hated the fallout from the 100th episode – namely Hannah- I really don’t see how he could have “fought” for her. He could have waited around for 30, 40, 50 years before she saw the light and that would not have been fair to him. I don’t think Brennan expected him to either. I do think she was hurt by Hannah – something I don’t think she even acknowledged until the car conversation in DITP where Booth said he was with someone and she would have to adjust to that new reality.

    ” I adjusted,” Booth to Brennan.
    “Yes, you did,” Brennan to Booth.

    Again, I don’t think she blamed him but it stung.

    I think by the end of Season 6 – even though we didn’t see ALL the details – that Booth and Brennan gave their hearts to one another. No claiming.

    Knowing how Brennan and Booth have kind of mirrored Angela and Hodgins, I’m kind of interested/scared to see how new parenthood affects their relationship.

  3. She knew EXACTLY what he meant. “I wanna give this a shot.” “You mean us?” No hesitation. For someone who often either doesn’t know what people mean or who hides behind pretending not to know what people mean, she sure did understand what he was saying. To me, she was aware the day was coming and she was ready with her answer. She wanted to use “The FBI won’t let us work together” bit but Booth blew by that, which left her having to be more honest. She felt she had to protect his heart. She wasn’t what he needed, couldn’t give him what he wanted.

    Should he have fought? I don’t know. Could he have done it better? Absolutely. But she wasn’t ready, so the outcome at that time, while it might have been presented in a less painful way, would likely have been painful for Booth (and Brennan) nonetheless.

    As for claiming and giving away. A heart is someone’s to give away, but the other half has to want to claim it and nurture it as well. I think we’re finally there. WOOT!

    • I can’t remember who wrote it, but there was a fic written pretty recently that explores the what if’s if Brennan had said yes and compares that to the timeline as it played out in the show. I thought it was an interesting take on the situation, as it showed them splitting up in the stress of the GD trial in the alternate scenario. We don’t know if that would have happened on the show, but I think it was a plausible outcome.

      I don’t think Brennan was being prescient when she said no, but I think it was something that she struggled long and hard with and still devastated her to do. The only thing I think she didn’t really understand at the time was that their mutual actions were going to change the dynamics of their relationship to each other.

      • I absolutely think it killed her to do it and I agree that I’m not sure she understood the fallout that would occur, but I do think she might have had some notion that there had been a shift somewhere and that she might have been building her argument for a while. Perhaps she didn’t even build it to argue Booth, but to argue against her own heart. (I believe Gordon Gordon was talking about Brennan.) I think she hoped to maintain the status quo…that which they had been doing was safer than trying for more. She could never be what he wanted, she couldn’t give him forever because she doesn’t believe in it. I can easily see that these are arguments she might have had within herself about her own tumultuous feelings, without any input from Booth at all. Then when he pushed (because he did, IMO) it all came spilling out.

        As for the fic, I know it. It’s by the lovely and talented eitoph and it’s AMAZING. Everyone should read it.

      • I agree with you on that, rankor01, that she didn’t really understand the ramifications of her decision. She was hoping that by her saying no, things could go back to the way before Booth put his feelings out there. It gets me thinking of the movie, Emma, at the end:

        Mr. Knightley: You want our friendship to remain the same as it has always been, but I cannot desire that.
        EMMA: But why?…….Please tell me I am your friend.
        Mr. Knightley: I do not wish to call you my friend, because I hoped to call you something infinitely more dear.

        Even as Booth said, “I have to move on” and she said, “I know”, I don’t think she really realized what that would mean if he actually did so. Both of them have dated plenty of other people, and nothing got to a super serious level. So she was probably thinking, “Ok, he’ll move on to another surface relationship and we can still continue as usual”. And it might have been so had the team not split up. Booth went overseas, and with no visual or phone contact from Brennan, he is more able to put those feelings for her on the back burner and actually make a connection with someone else. I don’t think she expected that. But in a way, I’m glad Booth gave that a shot with Hannah, because I think it made them both truly understand how important and special their relationship truly was. Yeah, this past season was painful, but I think it will be worth it. Because like you said, their mutual actions did change the dynamics of their relationship–finally!

        And now, after thinking of Booth and Mr. Knightley (aka Jeremy Northam) at the same time I may swoon. 🙂

  4. I don’t know that, in heart matters, one can argue someone into a relationship. Certainly Booth and Brennan have argued over much throughout their partnership and some of those things have been matters of the heart, but Brennan has always given such things some thought. Sometimes we’ve been privy to those thoughts– look at Con Man, for instance. It takes Cam, Sweets, Angela (to a lesser extent) and Booth’s reaction before Brennan has the evidence that leads her to confront Jared. It takes her time and some help from Booth before she can get past some of the anger and pain from her father. In matters of the heart, Brennan will generally need more time to process and accept things.

    It’s interesting that Angela is Brennan’s double in some ways. In Skull in the Desert, Angela is concerned that she doesn’t have an open heart (she couldn’t commit for more than 3 weeks to her then boyfriend) and Brennan reassures her that she will get a second chance.

    There’s certain threads that run through the show’s relationships: second chances (all the couples are on their second chances), missed moments (is that why Angela jumps at the idea of getting married right away and when they decide to wed, they do so even in a jail cell?), open hearts (Booth and Hodgins commit wholeheartedly to their women; the women aren’t automatically open.)

    I’ve always thought Brennan and Booth both had the right to take their stances in the 100th. Both owned their decisions and accepted the consequences no matter how difficult it might have been. Hodgin’s reactions to the Wendell/Angela pairing were similar to Brennan’s reactions to Hannah/Booth. Angela’s pregnancy scare was in many ways Booth’s proposal– both exposed the fundamental flaws in the relationship that ultimately ended it.

  5. I have so many thoughts in response to this post that I’m having trouble organizing them.

    First, I think Brennan absolutely had to give her heart. No question. But I think that in order for her to do that, Booth needed her to see that he wanted her just the way she is. He wasn’t asking her to change. She is the one who thought she wasn’t enough. I think that the situation was too fraught for Booth to step back and really hear what she was saying.

    What she meant was, “I’m not enough for you. This will ruin everything. I’m afraid. Let’s just keep things the way they are.”

    What Booth heard was, “No. But things don’t have to change, right?”

    I’ve said it before, but I think that when Brennan rejected his overtures, she believed there were two options: keep everything the way it is or begin a romantic and sexual relationship. I don’t think that it occurred to her that if Booth really moved on, their partnership and friendship would be fundamentally changed anyway. I think that she needed that epiphany in order to finally be willing to risk “more” with Booth. She denied him and herself, thinking that she was protecting what they had, but she ended up losing it anyway.

    As for fighting for her, I think it would be more accurate to say that Booth needed to convince her, or prove to her, that it was worth the risk. I’m not sure he could have done that just with words. I’m not saying it was his intention, but I think that his relationship with Hannah right in Brennan’s face did exactly that. That was the evidence she needed to be persuaded.

    • I think you’re right that both of them heard different messages that night. Brennan saw nothing as being different until she saw that it was, and Booth saw that everything had changed.

      I don’t think that Hannah was a conscious decision by Booth to convince her although some could and will probably argue that he did show her what she was missing. The combination of the changes in their dynamic and the Lauren Eames case showed her just how much she was missing.

      For all her bravery at facing down serial killers and wading into mass graves, Brennan fears most risking her heart. And she knows her limitations– the fact that she chose to protect Booth shows just how much she cared about him. Hannah and Brennan became such fast friends so quickly because they were very similar– Brennan could then see herself with Booth in Hannah. I don’t think Booth was being deliberately cruel to Brennan– he just took things at face value, Brennan didn’t want change. (It’s why he told Sweets to not say anything about the engagement– he didn’t want to hear other’s opinions.) Brennan got a chance to look in the mirror and see what it looked like to be in a relationship with Booth. It was the evidence, along with losing bits of her relationship with Booth to Hannah, that she needed.

      • Roxane, yes and yes. I definitely think that Booth taking up with Hannah was his attempt to genuinely move on. Brennan may have meant “not yet” (I’m not sure what I think about that, to be honest), but what she said was “No.” Booth takes her at her word and makes a half-hearted attempt to move on with Catherine, the aquarium lady, but I think that whatever hope me might have been harboring that Brennan would change her mind was squashed when she went to Maluku. He was hurt, he was lonely, and he was afraid he was going to be alone forever. It’s also been mentioned that he had probably been celibate for a while. Hannah was probably just what he needed. I don’t think he ever deliberately flaunted his relationship with Hannah at Brennan in order to hurt her or even to show her what he was missing. I think he was just trying to fulfill his own wants, needs, and desires.

        As for Brennan becoming friends with Hannah, I thought it was very strange. But I think she was just trying to help him move on. The reason she said no to him is because she didn’t think she could make him happy. She gave Hannah the “you’d better be all in” speech, and, satisfied that Hannah would be what Brennan thought the Booth needed, she jumped on the bandwagon.

        And yes, I think that seeing Booth with Hannah, for the first time actually seeing what Booth is like in a relationship, was part of what finally got her to make the emotional leap. I think that other part is that, as you said, she was losing bits of her relationship with Booth to Hannah. Things changed, despite the fact that she tried so hard, hurt Booth, even denied what she herself wanted, in an effort to keep things the same.

      • I agree with you guys. Sometimes when you want something done, you’ve gotta do it yourself. Brennan didn’t think she was the one for loving Booth the way he wanted/needed and making him happy. But Hannah fell through, and I think Brennan thought that perhaps she was the right one for the job after all. She can even give awesome gifts just as well as Booth can!

  6. I think Booth and Brennan have fought for a long time. Their battle has been with themselves though. They have fought their attraction to each other. They have fought to keep their friendship intact because that is what is important to them. When Brennan told Booth “No”, in 100, she was trying to protect her friendship and her partnership. Up until 100, Brennan considered Love to be fleeting at best and not to be counted on. On the other hand, she really values friendship and is fiercely loyal to those she considers her friends. She couldn’t commit to love because she was afraid that if their relationship failed, she could lose her friendship with Booth down the road. Booth understood that when she said no, she meant no and that he wouldn’t be able to change her mind. He couldn’t fight for her because it would have been a losing battle. Brennan would have to change her mind, Booth couldn’t make her do it. Hannah was the consequence of 100. Most of us hated it; but, in the end, it showed Brennan that saying no may have been the wrong thing to do and allowed her to see that committing to someone may be possible after all.

  7. I couldn’t agree more with you more regarding Booth’s need to “fight” for Brennan, as if she were a child that wasn’t thinking rationally and just needed an adult to convince her to change her mind. Her response to him was based not only on what she was feeling at the time, but throughout seasons 1-5. No amount of cajoling was going to get her to see the situation from a different perspective. Any changes to her world-view had to come from within, which is exactly what happened in Doctor. In season 6 Brennan wasn’t being spoon-fed an opinion through the Hannah situation; she observed, esperienced and completely on her own decided that the way she was choosing to live was not the most conducive to happiness. Nothing Booth said in the 100th was going to make that process any quicker. She’s a scientist, and observation and evidence, not opinion, is how she operates.

    From Booth’s POV, he knows that once Brennan holds on to a conviction it’s extremely difficult to get her to see things another way if she opts not to. He respects and admires her for that and I believe he would consider it belittling to her to continue to plead his case in the face of her absolute refusal. We also know how he often doesn’t consider himself a worthy person, so he figures he got what he he has grown to expect. But we all know that regardles of what he actually said, he hung around so in a way he did continue to fight for her. If she had changed her mind anytime before Maluku, he would have been with her in an instant. But she didn’t, and her departure and lack of contact were probably more disheartening to him than what she said in the 100th. Hanging out with Hannah was the real moment of acceptance of her no.

  8. Ooh great post – so many interesting points raised 🙂

    I had quite a few thoughts fly through my head while reading, so forgive me if this is chaotic.

    Angela was unbelievably out of line kissing Grayson, it was totally unacceptable. I think most people would consider jumping on your ex and sensuously kissing them out of order, it’s not like it was a polite peck between old friends. Makes me mad just thinking about it. And then she has the gall to get all high and mighty with Hodgins over her heart? Harrumph. It just all sounds so one sided – ‘I’ll kiss who I want and if you’re lucky I might bestow you with my heart, until my free spirited side takes over and I take it back.’ Haha, I like Angela but, man, I really didn’t like her much then.

    Now for Booth and Brennan – I’ve never been one of the people who felt that Booth didn’t fight hard enough for Brennan that night, because I saw that plea wrenched out of him after almost 6 years of fighting for her. Something had to give, he just couldn’t wait any more and it was never going to be her to alter that status quo.

    For me the main thing I took away from the 100th episode was the fact that there was no confusion between Booth and Brennan about the attraction between them. It had been felt and acknowledged from the moment they met. When Booth said that he’s the gambler and believed in giving this a shot, Brennan had no doubt what he meant. I believe she knew that eventually this would come up and she knew what she would say. I do think that she would quite happily have carried on as they were indefinitely had he not mentioned it, their surrogate relationship made her happy without having to risk anything.

    Nothing Booth said that night could have changed her mind, because she just wasn’t ready to give them a chance yet. She unequivocally said no, not ‘not yet’, not ‘in time’, not ‘I’m not ready’. She said no. Booth respects Brennan enough to know that she means what she says, she tells the truth. I think it would have been mightily disrespectful of Booth to hear Brennan but decide that she doesn’t know her own feelings and would inevitably come around eventually. It’s actually one of the painful ironies of the moment – Booth respects Brennan enough to take her at her word, which prevents him seeing that she’s petrified and maybe not telling him the whole truth.

    And to be fair, Brennan did believe she did the right thing in that moment. It took her months, maybe up to a year even, to realise she made a mistake. And bless her as soon as she knew, she told Booth, despite knowing it was futile. It was the bravest thing I think she’s ever done.

    But alas, when she was finally ready to give him her heart, he wasn’t in a position to be able to take it. (I watched Dr in the Photo again on Monday night – normally I avoid it because it’s too sad, but knowing what we know now, that there’s a baby on the way and love in the air made it so much more bearable 🙂 )

    So yes, I think the show has shown that someone’s heart is theirs to give away, not someone else’s to claim. Booth wanted to give his heart to Brennan for years, but she wouldn’t take it. That’s what fighting for Brennan looked like – fighting to prove she could trust him, fighting to prove he knew who she was, fighting to prove that love existed and was worth it. Oh yes, he fought.

    Then she was ready to give hers to him and he wasn’t able to take it. Phew, what a fraught and beautiful journey these two have been on 🙂

    • That was so beautiful. Well-said. Everything.
      Especially this:
      “It’s actually one of the painful ironies of the moment – Booth respects Brennan enough to take her at her word, which prevents him seeing that she’s petrified and maybe not telling him the whole truth….And to be fair, Brennan did believe she did the right thing in that moment. It took her months, maybe up to a year even, to realise she made a mistake. And bless her as soon as she knew, she told Booth, despite knowing it was futile. It was the bravest thing I think she’s ever done.”

      And this:
      “That’s what fighting for Brennan looked like – fighting to prove she could trust him, fighting to prove he knew who she was, fighting to prove that love existed and was worth it. Oh yes, he fought.”

      Do you write?

      But yes, their journey is quite remarkable.

  9. (warning: mini-Angela-tangent ahead) 🙂
    Welll….first of all, I don’t really like Angela’s quote. There’s a lot that I don’t like about her character overall, but most of that has been getting better throughout the seasons. I think Angela has been quite unfair to Hodgins. He’s definitely had to fight for her. She (and her father) have treated him quite badly at times IMO and he deserves a patience medal for making it this far! 🙂 I mean, not telling him she was previously married until their wedding was ruined, Roxie, Wendell….she sometimes reminds me of a movie I hated because of the leading lady, A Knight’s Tale. To poor Heath Ledger, the main character says at different points, “If you love me, win the match” then later, “If you love me, you’ll lose the match”. Ugh. So Hodgins has no claim on her heart even though he’s proven his love over and over to her? She still can just decide to yank her heart back whenever she wants? (Not saying Hodgins is perfect by any means, BTW). But to give Angela credit, pregnant/married Angela I liked. She is now settled and happy, and offering more of an equal partnership with Hodgins rather than being the one completely in control. So I’d say in their relationship, that quote is definitely applicable because Angela had the control most of the time, so she definitely had to be the one to “give” her heart to Hodgins; he definitely had to fight for it. And I am definitely glad that they are finally together and happy.
    However, I don’t know that this quote applies the same way, or at all, to B&B. While I think the power scale was tipped more in Angela’s favor in that relationship, it’s always been equal, but different, with our B&B. They each have their different strengths, Brennan with intelligence, Booth in the way he uses his, but both are top in their respective fields. They both have had different, yet both traumatic, childhood experiences. Brennan and Booth both had different relationships outside of their own, Brennan with many surface relationships, Booth with fewer, but more meaningful ones. Yes, it seems as though Booth was sort of pining for her more than her for him, but I’m not sure that that is quite right. Brennan COMPLETELY changed her world to work with Booth. Yes, she took an occasional quick jaunt here or there but always came back. She completely changed the focus of her work, and was always studying him, wanting to see the world through his eyes and his perspective. She may have kept it more hidden, but I think she was just as tied to him “surrogate relationship” style (thanks Sweets!) as he was to her. Booth also completely changed his loner FBI status, to fiercely fighting for their partnership.
    Anyway, going back to the initial quote, “My heart isn’t yours to claim. It’s mine to give away.” Well, I think they’ve mutually “claimed” each other, and by that, also mutually “gave” their hearts to each other as we were given a glimpse of in Hole in the Heart. These two are both strong characters, and have always respected that about each other. Her coming into his room, and then him pulling her down to the bed, it was totally mutual, that whole thing. So, yeah. I’m going back to a previous post, and my response to how the quote relates to B&B: “Mutual, I’m sure!”

    • It bugs the heck out of me how Angela treats Hodgins. There is no equality in that relationship. Angela has changed some; but, I still thinks she calls the shots in that relationship.

      I am very glad indeed that Booth and Brennan’s relationship can be summed up by your quote “Mutual I’m Sure.” They are strong, independent people searching for someone that they can trust to love them and stay with them. They have found each other. So lovely.

      • BB and Lenora,

        I agree with you on the power dynamics of the Angela/Hodgins relationships. She has put him through a lot, and they only just now have settled down. I also agree that he plays the doormat at most times with her, and when he does stand up, in comes her father to brand him for his assertiveness. I wanted to keep it neutral in the post with respect to those two though and focus on the quote, though I agree the background does place it in a different context for Angela and Hodgins than it does for Booth and Brennan.

      • Amen; she’s still annoyed by how much he wants to do for her when she’s pregnant, and then has her labor-room hystrionics where poor Hodgins is left without chest hair. I really hope that the arrival of B/B’s little bundle is more realistic-most women in labor aren’t insulting their doctors or screaming their guts out. I just can’t imagine Brennan doing that.

    • The way the writers have chosen to depict Angela from season 3 onward has been distressing, I agree. I don’t think they want her to be such an unappealing character, so I’m mystified as to why the don’t see that what they are writing for her is making her appear very unsympathetic.

      However, the quote used here was (if I am remembering correctly) in response to Hodgins challenging Grayson to a physical fight and subsequently being dumped in the garbage truck. In that sense, I love this quote. Teenage girls and Twilight readers take note: two guys fighting over you isn’t hot, it isn’t romantic, it’s sad and pathetic for everyone involved.

      • I get Angela’s character as a best friend to Brennan character that can give her advice…but as to the Angela knows-all-things-in-a-mystical-kind-of-way thing I don’t get (I won’t even get into her transformation from caracature artist on the street to computer programming whiz!) Like when both Wendell and Hodgins were talking about being with her, that she made them both better people for having been with her, etc etc….I don’t get that at all personally! I’ve liked her more in the last couple of seasons, but it was touch and go for awhile. I’m sorry, I hated the incessant “sweetie”, her sleeping with everything that moved, then whining about how terrible temporary celibacy was for her ALL THE TIMEEEEE…..but then they’d give her a sweet moment with Brennan, and I’m like, ok I get it. Now that she is settled with Hodgins, there have been plenty of opportunites for her to show the sides of her character that I have liked, and some really great Angela/Brennan moments, ie, the night after HitH :). So I’m hoping Angela continues this trend, which hopefully she can give Brennan lots of good pregnancy/Booth related advice this season!

      • My breaking point with Angela came with Hodgins’ first proposal that she rejected. She loved him, wanted to marry him, but wanted to “feel something”, and couldn’t even give him any pointers? I don’t get why she didn’t just say yes if she wanted to. Nevertheless, I like her view on hearts being given, and a person making a deliberate choice to do that.

        Similarly, I’m hoping that if Brennan does decide she wants to be married to Booth one day – whom she really does love – but there happened to be practical reasons for doing so, I hope Booth accepts that, and doesn’t try to force the idea that she has to just “know”.

  10. I’m going to deal with this in parts. First part:

    On parallels with Angela:

    I don’t really see them. When Angela said that she didn’t think she had an open heart in Skull, I don’t think that that reflected her true belief about herself. I think it was (like Booth’s “ultimatum” in Daredevil) — of the moment. She’d had that discussion with the sheriff that it was she who didn’t want more than three weeks a year. All the evidence is to the contrary. She is open to love, perhaps too much. Think of the conversation with Sweets about finding the love of her life many times. So, I think that Angela has never doubted her ability to love. Perhaps she’s not sure about the long term. And, I don’t think she thinks she’s unworthy of love.

    Brennan, on the other hand, did not believe she was capable of love and didn’t think that she was worthy of someone’s love over the long term. She was convinced that she was incapable of sustaining a loving relationship because of her experiences as a teen.

    Angela knew she had a heart, but wanted to give it rather than have someone take it. Brennan believed she didn’t have a heart to give and that no one would want it if she offered. So, I don’t find that particular comparison on point.

    I haven’t had any serious problems with Angela. I’ve known a number of people like her: writers, artists, musicians, actors, even very creative business people and intellectuals. They just want to keep moving, experiencing and learning. LIke Angela, they are often capable in a number of areas (art + computers, music + math, art + science). One of my oldest and bestest friends is an artist who creates art with the computer as well as more traditional media (right now he’s doing a lot of sculpture), plays piano brilliantly, and his day gig is he’s an MD who specializes in emergency medicine. When he wanted to paint instead of going right to medical school and then when he wanted to paint rather than pursuing a traditional medical career, most people thought he was nuts. They may seem a little flaky, but some of them end up being pretty amazing people with pretty amazing accomplishments, and many do figure out how to make a family in their own special way.

    I need to think some more on the second part of this post.

  11. Not exactly related to this post, but since there is a bit of discussion about foreshadowing and parallels: anyone think it’s kind of bizarr-o that HH and co. wrote an ep about a huge blizzard and then there was a blizzard and that they also wrote an ep about an earthquake in DC and there was one.

    I’m a rational empiricist, but it is kind of weird. 😉

  12. I seemed to have minded less about the missing moments at the end of season 6, but I just figured out why HH did what he did! After being inspired by so much fanfic, I decided that those scenes weren’t shown because it would have been too hot and too intense that it would have blown many a TV fuse out – and HH & Crew just didn’t want to be responsible for the damages suffered by countless fans 😉

  13. I think the key to Booth “fighting for” Brennan was to realize that he needed to give her the space to come to her own conclusions about her feelings for him. Booth has known for a long time that Brennan has to stumble on her own truths according to her own timeline, that she can’t be rushed, and this is as true (if not more so) for her emotional epiphanies as it is for intellectual findings. Personally, if Booth and Brennan ever do marry, it will be when Brennan arrives at that place, in her own mind and her own heart, where she recognizes that marriage is not about losing one’s autonomy but rather about giving one’s life to another person. I think it’s possible for her to do that, and it would be pretty cool to see that long-term story arc play out in the show.

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