Bones Theory

IAYA: Burdens That Allow Us To Fly

31 Comments

It’s time for another I Ask, You Answer. A little background on this one: I had been thinking about this quote the other day and then I saw on Facebook where pal Megan S had quoted it too. Seemed like a sign to me 🙂   So without further ado…

You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. You see two people, and you think ‘They belong together’. But nothing happens. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight. We feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens that allow us to fly.

 
 
 

How did/does/will this quote apply to B&B if it ever did/does/will apply to them. Thoughts?

 

PS…special thanks to Jen (Natesmama1128) for transcribing the quote exactly! 🙂

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31 thoughts on “IAYA: Burdens That Allow Us To Fly

  1. “You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. You see two people, and you think ‘They belong together’. But nothing happens. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight. We feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens that allow us to fly.”

    You know, this quote is a little “mushy” to me for lack of a better word. Also as a English/grammar nerd, all of the short sentences are a little harsh on the eyes to read haha! But there are a couple of lines that did speak to me:
    “You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering.”
    “The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable.”
    ~This is the point of the whole B&B of the series. They both could not truly let go and trust each other enough to give up their personal control. I think obviously after VNM, those barriers broke down more than ever, but they still have a long way to go. And as they went through the series and encountered things like Booth’s fake funeral, which shook Brennan up so much she was angry that he’d inadvertently hurt her and cause her pain. And Brennan was able to cause Booth pain too, by rejecting him. They were able to hurt each other so much because they care so much and loved each other though they wouldn’t admit it. Temperance by definition means restrained, holding back, abstaining…and that’s precisely how she has been throughout the series. Here’s hoping she finds a little bit of her birth name, Joy, throughout the baby and everything to follow. Same with Booth. His past has left him leery of certain things, and after Daredevil, we know how rejection has hurt him, so he just shut himself up for awhile, until HitH.
    Those two sentences I mentioned I think are the basis of our B&B. And I am hoping they learn that its ok to truly open yourself up to suffering, and lose control to each other more and more and find true personal happiness in that.

  2. Yay, great question! That’s a great piece of text, loved hearing Brennan read it to us.

    In a nutshell, I believed it was talking about Brennan’s fear of giving in to the feelings she now knew she had for Booth. I think it took a season or two for them to develop, a season or two for her to acknowledge them and a season or two for her to decide to do something about them. (She’s not a character that adapts to change quickly, I wonder how she’s dealing with all the changes happening in the 9 months of her pregnancy? Talk about 0 – 60 in time-warp speed 🙂 )

    ‘You see two people, and you think ‘They belong together’. But nothing happens.’ – interesting line. Had she been waiting and waiting for him to make a move? Why didn’t she if she wanted to? Was she scared of rocking the apple cart or was she respecting the line? Did she believe even back then that they ‘belong together’?

    ‘You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. ….. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable.’ There’s the fear.

    ‘That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight. We feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens that allow us to fly.’ – We know that Brennan has just written a book about a happily married couple, pregnant and in love. So we know she’s thinking about the happiness that kind of relationship could offer someone. We assume she’s thinking of Booth in this way.

    When Booth woke up and thought Brennan was his wife, I wish we’d seen that properly.

  3. We once had a parrot that was born with one wing shorter than the other. The breeder would normally have destroyed the bird, but instead she kept it and trained it. In flight, it was a mess– it couldn’t really fly well, but it managed to get where it wanted to go.

    I see B&B as being similar to that bird. In some ways, their romantic relationship will be messy. But through sheer guts and determination, I see them as making a go of it. They’ve both been disabled by their pasts, but both have risen above those disasters and made something of their lives. They’ve gained perspective from the work that they do and the lives that they’ve lived.

    My mother always said that if you wanted to learn how to ice skate (or something similar) take two people who don’t know how and put them together. Each one will hold up the other and help the other person learn. I see B&B as learning to do this together. Yes, they both have some experiences that will help along the way, but ultimately, it’s going to be sloppy and awkward and painful, but eventually they’ll find a way to make it work because at the basis of their relationship is an ever-biding love.

  4. maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way.

    That’s why Brennan said no in the 100th. That fear that she’d break his heart and it would change who she was as a person. She wasn’t strong enough to take that chance, on breaking his heart or on finding out how strong she really could be.

    There’s so much truth in that entire paragraph. Loving someone is hard. Taking those kind of chances are hard. In a lot of ways, it’s so much easier to hold yourself above all of that. No risk. No pain.

    And no reward. And there’s where I hope S7 goes – showing Brennan that the rewards of allowing yourself to love someone are worth those risks. The rewards are worth the burdens.

  5. Gah. This is one of those things where the answer seems so obvious, it’s almost hard to put it into words. I mean, my first thought was…of course it applies to them!.Which begs the questions: how? And my knee-jerk response is…It just does! So here’s my attempt to form a coherent thought.

    Before meeting Booth, Brennan considered personal relationships and attachments to be a liability. Opening yourself up to caring about someone else meant opening yourself up to pain, rejection, and sadness. Too risky. She thought it was better to stay closed off so that she could control her own happiness. As late as the end of the fifth season (The Boy with the Answer) Brennan questions whether her personal entanglements have made her weaker, less rational.

    On the surface, it seemed like Booth was already pretty open when it came to relationships. He engaged with others, and was open to the possibility (if not actively seeking) someone with whom to share his life. At least that’s what I think he thought. But, in my opinion, he was always holding part of himself back. I think there were very few people with whom he shared details of his abusive past or his experiences as a sniper. But something about Brennan compelled him in a way he didn’t really understand, and he finally did start to open up and share the things in his past with her, which left him more vulnerable than he had been before, more vulnerable than I think he wanted to be. But only with her. I think it’s fair to say that at least part of the reason his previous relationships ended is because he held so much back. I got the impression that he was holding quite a bit back even with Hannah. As far as we know, Brennan is the one with whom he has shared the most of himself, long before they began any sort of physical relationship.

    So I see the first six seasons as kind of a back and forth dance where Booth is showing Brennan how to open up to others, let people in, that personal relationships can make you stronger even as they make you more vulnerable. And in the process, Booth is learning the same lessons in a deeper, more meaningful way than he understood them before knowing Brennan.

    • Oh, I love that thought. He’s teaching her how to be more open but in the process, he’s learning himself what that really means.

      • I agree. I think it seemed Booth had it together and was open but, really, he has issues too! LOL. I think the quote Harmonia said to Brennan about Booth seeing the truth and being “dazzled” by it also applies to Brennan Re: Booth. Booth is not perfect either, but Brennan sees him and respects him for the good man she knows that he is. Sweets once said Booth had an “affable” demeanor but beneath there was rage, a result from his past. I tend to agree with that. Being abandoned by his father, abused by a beloved parent, being the cause of someone else’s death, and being rejected by the mother of his child all had to take a toll on Booth. Add to that his gambling problem and, yeah, I think beneath the “cocky” there has to be some insecurities.

        I have no idea what lies ahead for them but I really, really hope there’s nothing wrong with their child or that anything happens to it – I don’t want a repeat of baby William on the X-Files. Shudders. I think they’ll have enought angst with just working out a way to blend their worldviews and beliefs. I think they have already hurt one another and whatever comes next they have to face together which, inevitably, will happen.

      • Thinking about this post has put a new idea in my head that I’m having trouble formulating coherently for some reason (hmmm…lack of sleep? Probably so.) Anyhoo…so this post got me thinking about Brennan’s character development as it relates to Booth and Booth’s character development as it relates to his romantic and/or sexual (we all know it was never really “romantic” with Cam, right?) relationships. Which brings up Hannah.

        I’ve said before that I think that Brennan needed to see Booth in a relationship to realize that there was more than one way to “lose” what she and Booth had pre-100th. She rejected his overture in an attempt to keep things between them the same, and when Booth came back with Hannah she was forced to confront the fact that she hurt him and denied herself and didn’t achieve what she wanted in the bargain.

        At the same time, I think that Booth learned a valuable lesson from his relationship with Hannah as well. Before knowing Booth, Brennan had believed that she needed no one and perceived that as a strength. Before knowing Brennan, Booth believed that he both needed others and was needed by them, at least within the context of his relationships. But it wasn’t until his relationship with Brennan that he really experienced a relationship with an equal amount of give and take. I think that previously he was the giver, but didn’t feel like he deserved to take, at least not in any meaningful way. But Brennan demanded it. She has said at various times, “You do xyz for me, but you won’t let me reciprocate,” and Booth learned to relent to her and allow her to give to him sometimes.

        I think that after Hannah refused his proposal, he was forced to confront the fact that he may have opened his home and bed to her, even introduced her to his son, but there were parts of him that she never saw, and likely would never have seen, because again he was giving and giving and she never forced him to take.

        After Daredevil in the Mold, I think that both Booth and Brennan realized that they only wanted each other. But they started in very different places. Brennan was coming from her isolationist, “I-don’t-need-anyone-ever” position, but eventually realized that she did need someone; but not just anyone, Booth specifically. Booth was already searching for a mate, but tried to convince himself that if it couldn’t be Brennan, he could still move on and find the same thing with someone else. Eventually, though, he realized that it couldn’t be someone else, not if he wanted the genuine article; it could only be Brennan.

      • CJsMom, This is very well written. I agree with what you have written so will not add anything to it.

      • Thanks, Lenora, because it felt very garbled. I’m glad someone understood it;-)

  6. http://www.buddytv.com/articles/bones/did-booth-sabotage-his-own-rel-3 9359.aspx

    Not spoilery, its an older article, but it was brought to my attention on another board. It’s right after you-know-who rejected Booth’s proposal. The author says this, which I love:

    “To understand what Booth’s future really is, you only need to look at the questions asked by the two women in his life. Hannah wanted to know “What happens now?” because she’s only the present. But Brennan asked him “What happens next?” proving that she is his future.”

    I thought that was perfectly said. That question Brennan poses, “What happens next?” takes that quote from her book from fiction to “reality” as they now begin to live as a couple.

  7. Preparing myself for tomatoes that may be lobbed in my face.

    I kind of hate this quote. As bb said, it’s mushy. It doesn’t seem very Brennan-y, and she’s the one supposedly writing it. I think the quote tries far too hard to be profound. “Burdens that allow us to fly” is just plain cheesy.

    I also think it’s essentially Hart speaking to the audience – something he did a lot of from season 4 on.

    You (audience) see two people (B&B). You think they belong together (and they do). But nothing happens. (because Fox is afraid the ratings will tank and we have a two year renewal to fill). (Here’s my thematic explanation for why I am not putting them together right now) The thought of losing so much control….yadda yadda yadda.

    That said, I do think the part about maybe you’ll break their heart and not be able to look at yourself the same way is a very good way to sum up Brennan in late season 5. She broke Booth’s heart and she knew it and she ran away to avoid dealing with the guilt she felt.

    • It does seem out-of-character for Brennan to write something so sappy. I’ve actually thought the whole coma-dream story didn’t make all that much sense as something Brennan would have written anyway. In season five (I’m thinking it’s from Bones on the Blue Line) they make a big deal about how Angela is responsible for the character-related stuff in the books. Even though they mostly talk about the sex (page 187), I was given the impression that Brennan writes the forensic stuff, and Angela helps her fill in the gaps on everything else. But The End in the Beginning didn’t seem forensic-heavy to me; it was very character- and relationship-oreinted. It just doesn’t quite jive. But HH wanted to be able to put them in bed together without having to deal with the consequences of putting them in bed together and so: voila! Coma dream. In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that I actually do like episode, regardless of how ridiculous it is.

      • I like the episode itself (the characters all being different people and yet totally themselves, it’s a hoot!)

        It reminds me of News Radio when they were all on the Titanic for no reason or when I was a kid and watched Gilligan’s Island and a coconut would fall on Gilligan’s head and he’d dream he was a spy.

        The dream itself was fun, I just didn’t like the brain tumor drama that accompanied it and the way it was a HUGE DEAL in the season premiere and then “dream, what dream?” thereafter.

      • My sentiments exactly. Wendell was my favorite. And when VNM explains why he won’t fare well in jail, because “I’m lovely.” Clark, with the white suit, as C-Synch! I could go on and on. The icing on the cake was when Booth hit Jared.

        As for the aftershocks, I’m just really glad they didn’t play out the amnesia. But you’re right, they certainly moved on from it in a hurry.

      • Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always thought that “Who are you?” wasn’t the “I don’t remember anything” kind of amnesia but more Booth asking Brennan who she was in his life. His wife? His partner?

        He came out of such a lovely dream and there she was. Which “she” was she?

      • I was on board with the whole thing written by Brennan, because she has been growing and learning by being around Booth and the team. So I could believe that her mind could come up with interpersonal relationships. Even though she still needs work actually implementing her knowledge sometimes, she has learned a great deal about people over the years.

        It was just that last mushy paragraph that seemed to be pushing it…but like I said, there are somethings I thought were good: “You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable.” Those I think are the heart of Bones as a show, and where most of the angst comes from. If they would have left it at that and left out the mushy stuff, it’d have been perfect!

      • not the amnesia so much as the idea – as presented by Sweets – that Booth only thought he was in love because of the dream. That was never brought up again after Harbingers. Nor was the fact that BRENNAN wrote the story.

        I mean – look, we know our babies have communication problems but seriously, Booth ought to at least wonder “hmmm…Bones wrote a story about being married to me and having my baby…whatever could it mean?”

        I get that Booth resolves his issue in Harbingers – Avalon convinces him to follow his heart. It just seemed like *such* a big issue and usually premieres set the theme for the season. Based on Harbingers, I thought Brennan would think Booth only thought he was in love b/c of the dream (and feel guilty about having inspired it).

  8. My sentiments exactly. Wendell was my favorite. And when VNM explains why he won’t fare well in jail, because “I’m lovely.” Clark, with the white suit, as C-Synch! I could go on and on. The icing on the cake was when Booth hit Jared.

    As for the aftershocks, I’m just really glad they didn’t play out the amnesia. But you’re right, they certainly moved on from it in a hurry.

  9. Hmmm, I suppose it is a little mushy, especially for Brennan, but I still like it. Like va32h said, it did shed some light on Brennan’s feelings. I guess it was more of a forewarning of what was to come – a message from Hart to the viewers, which he does from time to time because his MO is to develop their relationship without a lot of words between the two but with other clues (music, other people’s dialogue, nonverbal communication).

    I’m on the same track as MJ with the quote she pointed out. As much as Brennan was afraid to get hurt, she seemed truly afraid of hurting Booth. Basically, any way she looked at it, Brennan didn’t see a pretty outcome for him or herself. She didn’t think she was strong enough to handle the pain. She didn’t foresee the other kind of pain saying no would cause. It took some painful experiences to get her to that point. Seeing Booth injured or in surgery and a coma didn’t do it. She had “lose” what she had in order to understand what it meant to her.

    Sometimes I felt sorry for Brennan and all the changes she was going through, especially before the end of the season when her relationship with Booth was tenuous. She put up a pretty good front all things considered, but I don’t think she really knew where they stood with each other because Booth wasn’t really sure himself. Anyway, like she said, she was impervious before she met him. She had her idea of how she was going to live her life. Then Booth came along, got under her skin, and made the life that appealed to her before less appealing. When she finally admitted to herself what she could no longer deny, that she wanted Booth, it seemed out of reach because of her prior decision. And I think she was kind of stuck in limbo with her feelings. She couldn’t have Booth, she knew she had to move on eventually, but since it was so new to her she couldn’t convince herself she didn’t feel that way, and was probably unsure how to move on. Adjusting does seem like the proper term. The difference between the two is that Booth tried to adjust by telling himself he didn’t have his feelings, while Brennan was adjusting staying in full knowledge of her feelings. That’s tough. She would have needed time and space to actually start moving on, like Booth. But they had just resumed their partnership, and I don’t think she wanted to feel like she was running away again.

    I know some people thought it was inconsiderate of her to voice her regret when Booth was dating someone else, but when was an appropriate time going to occur? (In her emotional distress and time of revelation, I’m almost fairly certain she was NOT thinking about Hannah and her feelings – this was about her and Booth.) She had no idea if they were ever going to break up for Booth to be single again. I just don’t see how she could keep that to herself, and imagine Booth finding out years later if he decided to make it permanent with someone else. He probably would have wondered why she didn’t tell him. It’s not like Booth and Hannah were married. I guess that’s why they say all is fair in love and war. Besides, she backed off once Booth presented her with the facts (notably, he said nothing about his feelings.) Brennan and Booth have to be soulmates to end up still wanting to be with each other after all that.

    Wow. That was a lot. Maybe I should have broken that up into separate comments.

    • when it comes to that scene in Dr in the Photo…I guess again (dodging tomatoes) here is the reality of telling the story.

      A) Booth needs to find out that Brennan changed her mind so that
      B) He will experience inner turmoil so that
      C) His relationship with Hannah is in conflict and then
      D) The relationship with Hannah ends in order to
      E) Begin the new arc with B&B getting back together.

      There multiple ways for characters to receive the information. They can be told, they can overhear it, or they can stumble upon some physical clue, to name a few.

      Of those three options, Brennan telling Booth herself provided the most dramatic impact (as opposed to Booth overhearing Brennan talking to Angela, being told by a third party, or reading something Brennan wrote).

      • True. But they skipped through C) pretty fast. Hannah conveniently forgave Brennan to stay BFFs and easily believed Booth so she didn’t have to get caught up in an emotional mess. We barely even saw her until the proposal – especially not alone with Booth. The article linked to above said Booth subconsciously sabotaged his relationship with Hannah. Do you think that’s true? I’m not sure if I even want to believe it. SN said a long time ago that Booth’s issues will play a part in the breakup. Booth’s issue seemed to be that he wasn’t really listening to Hannah when she repeatedly told him she wasn’t the marrying kind. Plus, by the way she was surprised I kind of having the feeling that they entered their relationship having fun, and sure, they liked each other, but Booth suddenly flipped the switch without telling her by getting so serious about it.

        I’m really curious to see if he’s changed his “daredevil” ways now that he’s with Brennan. Or at least tampered his reactions so he’s just not just so cut-and-dry about it. I didn’t even like Hannah, but it seemed a little harsh that she got the cold shoulder and silent treatment when she said she wouldn’t marry him. Hopefully all that is water under a bridge.

      • I was all on board with the A – E progression from Dr. in Photo. But then we didn’t really see Booth having much personal turmoil re: C and in fact he was pretty much on a straight path to matrimony. One could argue he took that path in order to be clear to himself about who was his work partner and who was his romantic partner, but having him propose to Hannah resulted in a less satisfying beginning for B/B. This kind of dovetails into a review reply I’m going to give you so I’ll save the rest for that.

      • well now I’m on pins and needles for that review!

        I agree, that the writers didn’t draw a clear path from A to E, but to me, that’s a failure of the writing, not a reflection on the character of the characters, if that makes any sense. If we don’t believe Booth was in conflict, it’s not Booth’s fault, it’s either the writer (for not giving us the scenes/dialogue) or the actor (for not conveying it through his expressions/delivery).

  10. I too saw the proposal in Daredevil as a “switch” to Hannah. I think if you go back and re-watch those early S6 episodes – with the current-day perspective – it’s easier to see Booth really trying to convince himself that he’s happy, in love, moving on and everything is a-okay. Yes, I do believe he loved her but….I also believe that he could have survived pretty easily had Hannah not come to D.C. They were having a romance and having fun. I just can’t see Booth having an “I knew” moment with Hannah when they began their relationship. I do think he was grateful, as he told her, that he may have really felt that he would never find anyone to love again… I choose to believe he was pretty heart-crushed going into Afghanistan. It’s interesting to ponder if Booth really would have moved on or continued trying if Brennan hadn’t gone to Maluku. I think I read one that that HH said he felt Booth would be pretty pathetic, just moping around and maybe holding onto to some kind of hope I think HH used the term “stalker”, lol, had the Maluku/ Afghanistan thing had not happened. Booth had, as GG said, been in love with Brennan and building a family around her – for longer than he may have realized. The proposal being sabatoge? I don’t know… I do think he was having a crisis when Sweets made him realize where he was in his life at that moment, but I don’t blame Sweets. Booth tried to make it work with Hannah, even turned down Brennan to remain in the relationship he worked hard to cultivate. I think at that moment he realized, as he said, he did want more than just fun. People often say it was wrong of Hannah to meet Parker but, remember, she did not ask to. Parker said he “hated” his dad’s new girlfriend and Booth felt he needed to make that right so he had them meet. I’m not a Hannah fan but I actually don’t blame her for meeting Parker. And, yes, I do agree that Booth’s reaction was pretty dang cold – add that to another moment that “surprised” me in the series – see yesterday’s top 5 Tuesday. In BITS when Booth told Angela he had “moved on” from Hannah THAT was convincing, I don’t even think Booth was trying to convince himself as he was in early season 6, dude was done. I do agree with those that see Booth’s “anger” in BITB as being more toward himself for making decisions that hurt others and misjudging. Totally buy that.

    • Yes, I agree that Booth really did look he was over Hannah. I hypothesize that he was done before she even walked away from him by the reflecting pool. He just had to get over that his life kind of sucked at that point because he thought he would of have what he wanted by that stage in life. Except for Brennan’s partnership/friendship, apparently. 🙂

      Is it just me, or does it seem like Booth’s love life is a little sad, since we know he really wants the perfect family he never had? (I want to say a little messy, but don’t want to come across as judging). In RL most women would scrutinize a good-looking, decent man approaching his 40’s still unattached and wonder what’s wrong with him. I think he spent too much time working and being “friends” with Brennan. Just kidding – I know it all works out in the end. Maybe he really should have listened to his Pops who told him Rebecca was a waste of time, and Brennan is a keeper. When Booth said he can handle his own love life, Pops responded “I don’t think so.” It’s funny, but it’s not. And previously in season 2, when Booth first met with GG after shooting the clown, he thought he was trying to tell him that he had trouble letting go of the women in his life. GG said that wasn’t his reason to shoot the clown, but there still seems truth to that. He’s returned to old relationships more than once. I don’t know if I should include Brennan even hypothetically since she’s supposed to be the one he loves the most.

  11. @C-bones….I agree that Booth’s love life is a little sad. That’s why I want marriage for them at some point. I feel that Brennan’s “marriage-hating” tendencies are based on past experiences and not truly her beliefs, as evidenced by her support of Angela’s marriage. I think she’d want it for love as well as anthrolopological reasons. 🙂 I just want Booth to have that public declaration and strong committment because of his past family and romantic relationships. I want Brennan to hold him when he needs it, as Pops said, but have that place of belonging and commitment of a marriage relationship. Also, so I can see a wedding.

    (And yes, I do know these are fictional characters…..really!)

    (Not really.)

  12. This is actually one of my favorite quotes of the series (though I have a lot of favorites!). I had to watch that ending over and over to catch it but now that I’ve seen written a few times, I like it even better. Anyway, I always thought it was only Brennan’s POV since it was her book. It shows us that Brennan’s previous attempts at casual relationships are only a cover for her pain. It’s as if Booth never heard that part of the book — he was too busy enjoying life in the coma dream to be concerned with Brennan’s insecurities. Now that Brennan has taken great steps to overcome her insecurities and Booth has mostly overcome his anger, they are both willing to take that risk. Both are recognizing that risk is a burden of sorts but the rewards are great and very worthwhile.

  13. I think it says a lot for Booth and Brennan that they were able to take the risk or hope for a chance to take that risk in BITB. I am very happy with the way they came together because it really was them – no one else forcing them or encouraging them, they found their way on their own terms. They both have hurt one another but the foundation for their relationship is pretty amazing. Yes, they were always attracted to one another, dug one another, but they developed a partnership and friendship that is so strong that they have overcome some difficult times already. There is a risk in taking their relationship to the next level but I do hope we get to see them enjoying and learning about the rewards. Life if difficult, but having someone by your side, especially someone who you love and respect as much as they do one another, makes navigating those burdens and difficult times a little smoother.

    • I think that’s a great point. When “they” finally happened, it wasn’t because Sweets said “do it now, take a gamble!” or “man, you’re old and unmarried and pathetic.”

      VNM’s death was critical to the moment, but in the end, it was just them, all alone in the night. No cheerleaders, nobody pushing from the outside. Just them.

      When you think about it, except for VNM, it was just right.

      • Yes, poor VNM:( To people that say it was just comfort sex, I just don’t get that. They were ready. VNM or not, it was going to happen but I think them being there for one another is really beautiful.

        Back to the Qute from EITB… I think we saw in that episode a really good depiction of a future coupling for B&B in that Bren and Mr. B were united. Even when Jared told Mr. B that suspected Bren cheating on him, Mr. B wasn’t swayed, he still believed in his wife. You do open yourself up to pain and betrayl when you give your heart to someone else but, again, I think the true reward is finding someone you can believe in and weather those storms together. I hope that despite their different view points we do see that with B&B, that they continue to be partners in the truest sense.

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